All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Colors of Life"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
85 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This is free verse poem is adorable. A child's confusion about being required to reproduce someone else's vision is so very honest. I'm guessing, 'cos we're "writers", that none of us is good at seeing in other people's colors or coloring inside their lines. Well done! :) nancy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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This is free verse poem is adorable. A child's confusion about being required to reproduce someone else's vision is so very honest. I'm guessing, 'cos we're "writers", that none of us is good at seeing in other people's colors or coloring inside their lines. Well done! :) nancy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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Thanks Nancy!
Comment from juliedickson55
What a cute story...
Unfortunately, it sooooo reminds me of unanswered questions from parents and Sunday school teachers, who went on...blah,blah,blah.
I was never a SHEEP, and wanted to talk, to hear real explanations on religion, to understand.
This never happened, and I cannot accept traditional religion as a result. They all ruined it for me.
Coloring outside the lines is a good thing; so are questions.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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What a cute story...
Unfortunately, it sooooo reminds me of unanswered questions from parents and Sunday school teachers, who went on...blah,blah,blah.
I was never a SHEEP, and wanted to talk, to hear real explanations on religion, to understand.
This never happened, and I cannot accept traditional religion as a result. They all ruined it for me.
Coloring outside the lines is a good thing; so are questions.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx Julie!
Comment from robina1978
I liked this how you wrote from a child's point of view. Combining Jesus and Santa. This is what children do. Loved the general layout. Best wishes for the prompt.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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I liked this how you wrote from a child's point of view. Combining Jesus and Santa. This is what children do. Loved the general layout. Best wishes for the prompt.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx Robina!
Comment from cinnamongirl
Coloring in other people's lines-i love that line. I enjoyed this - religious connotations aside. I personally feel spiritality is different than relgious. I really had a hard time picking up a rhyming scheme in this poem but You nailed the "isms" of a child and that makes this entertaining.
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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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Coloring in other people's lines-i love that line. I enjoyed this - religious connotations aside. I personally feel spiritality is different than relgious. I really had a hard time picking up a rhyming scheme in this poem but You nailed the "isms" of a child and that makes this entertaining.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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poetry does not have to rhyme cinnamongirl - especially this prose/dialogue poem, because that's exactly what it is.
The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
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I'm aware of the scsle - thank you.
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then as it's free verse, may I ask why you are expecting to find rhymes?
Comment from bossladyone
I love this. Jesus can wear red. I kind of got mad at that old lady. But that's OK. The poem is written very will. If the little girl thinks He is Santa's brother why can't he wear red. I like the flow of the poem also. In the mind of children. The picture and the color scheme work well. I would of colored him red to. Maybe that was the blood:)) Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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I love this. Jesus can wear red. I kind of got mad at that old lady. But that's OK. The poem is written very will. If the little girl thinks He is Santa's brother why can't he wear red. I like the flow of the poem also. In the mind of children. The picture and the color scheme work well. I would of colored him red to. Maybe that was the blood:)) Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx bosslady! she was an old so-and-so, wasn't she?!
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yes she was
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is a masterpiece... wish I hadn't spent all my sixes so fast. I love how you played with the capital H throughout, and the teacher was funny ... really terrific! :)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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This is a masterpiece... wish I hadn't spent all my sixes so fast. I love how you played with the capital H throughout, and the teacher was funny ... really terrific! :)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx Phyllis!
Comment from TammyGail
This was a trip and funny as ever
well written and expressed
so very creative bursting in visuals
thanks for sharing and best of luck
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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This was a trip and funny as ever
well written and expressed
so very creative bursting in visuals
thanks for sharing and best of luck
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx Tammy!
Comment from seren james
A good slant on spirituality from a child's perspective. Maybe it is something we adults should consider. You have touched some very important issues. A nice verse to read. I know from experience of my boys how they found church boring.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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A good slant on spirituality from a child's perspective. Maybe it is something we adults should consider. You have touched some very important issues. A nice verse to read. I know from experience of my boys how they found church boring.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx seren!
Comment from jjstar
Loved this! I wish I had six stars to give. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Kids just say the darndest things, all the time. I think nowadays they are a little more lenient (one would hope). I would hope that it would be more about introducing Jesus, as he is presented in most Sunday schools. Who cares about what color the dress is.
I agree with you. I don't think he (oops He) minds at all. Just like a character in one of my favorites movies said, "Well, He doesn't care what church you go to, long as ya go!"
Excellent, excellent!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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Loved this! I wish I had six stars to give. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Kids just say the darndest things, all the time. I think nowadays they are a little more lenient (one would hope). I would hope that it would be more about introducing Jesus, as he is presented in most Sunday schools. Who cares about what color the dress is.
I agree with you. I don't think he (oops He) minds at all. Just like a character in one of my favorites movies said, "Well, He doesn't care what church you go to, long as ya go!"
Excellent, excellent!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thx jj - glad you had a laugh with my 7 year old!
Comment from Titanx9
This is an engaging piece. I can imagine a small child having and believing such thoughts. It's very detailed and descriptive. I like your P.S., 50 years later note. Some of us never learn, but as you said, I don't think He minds at all.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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This is an engaging piece. I can imagine a small child having and believing such thoughts. It's very detailed and descriptive. I like your P.S., 50 years later note. Some of us never learn, but as you said, I don't think He minds at all.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2012
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thank you Titan - BUT PLEASE NOTE, if you are going to award a '4' we would expect you to say what adjustments are needed, OR re-rate to 5 - as per below, yes?
"The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)"
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That was an error. I'll fix it. It's late, so please accept my apologies. Sorry it got you riled up.
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not riled - just puzzled dear - I didn't think it was THAT bad! :)
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All's well that ends well - lol. Have a peaceful and prosperous day!