Old Decrepit Woman Revised.
Written about a painting I saw.177 total reviews
Comment from Brandenpaul
The words are used so perfectly to paint a picture of age ad aging. It's sad that one should rejoice in making it to a mature age, but this is obviously not the case. Makes one really think about the here and now.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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The words are used so perfectly to paint a picture of age ad aging. It's sad that one should rejoice in making it to a mature age, but this is obviously not the case. Makes one really think about the here and now.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you paul.
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hello Boz,
Your beautiful compassionate poem about the old lady you saw in the painting truly shows your sensive side. This is an excellent reality reminder for all readers. Thank you for sharing your talent in this way. Warm regards, W ^-^
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Hello Boz,
Your beautiful compassionate poem about the old lady you saw in the painting truly shows your sensive side. This is an excellent reality reminder for all readers. Thank you for sharing your talent in this way. Warm regards, W ^-^
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you whizpurr. Th
Comment from Idamarty
This poem speaks to so many who are suffering not only from outsiders but at the hands of their own people...it begs the question as to who is ever really safe in this world we live in today...who can we ever really truly trust...and what or whom should this old lady hold on to...this society is a very lonely one...just like the old woman in the painting...sad, lonely and lost...thank you for sharing and blessings to you.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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This poem speaks to so many who are suffering not only from outsiders but at the hands of their own people...it begs the question as to who is ever really safe in this world we live in today...who can we ever really truly trust...and what or whom should this old lady hold on to...this society is a very lonely one...just like the old woman in the painting...sad, lonely and lost...thank you for sharing and blessings to you.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Idamarty.
Comment from ReaThomas
This is a profound piece of poetry. Old age will come to us all (if we are lucky). I especially liked the photograph of the eldery Indian woman you picked. I think every one of her wrinkles would tell a story.
Lovely work.
Rea x
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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This is a profound piece of poetry. Old age will come to us all (if we are lucky). I especially liked the photograph of the eldery Indian woman you picked. I think every one of her wrinkles would tell a story.
Lovely work.
Rea x
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Rea.
Comment from laren
An awesome poem, two works of art in an amalgam of the sensitivity of the author. I was thrilled to read this sensitive poem.
Laren
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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An awesome poem, two works of art in an amalgam of the sensitivity of the author. I was thrilled to read this sensitive poem.
Laren
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Laren.
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Thank you for sharing,
Laren
Comment from AmberThille
While I was reading this piece I had the idea that it was not about an actual person. However, I wouldn't have guessed it was a painting. I thought it was possible that it was about the planet. Perhaps some unfortunate place that had been strip mined or some such thing. I liked it quite a lot regardless. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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While I was reading this piece I had the idea that it was not about an actual person. However, I wouldn't have guessed it was a painting. I thought it was possible that it was about the planet. Perhaps some unfortunate place that had been strip mined or some such thing. I liked it quite a lot regardless. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Amber.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, boz roz, a great job writing this poem about the picture you saw, like you said it is word art that paints a picture in the reader's minds..
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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this is very well written, boz roz, a great job writing this poem about the picture you saw, like you said it is word art that paints a picture in the reader's minds..
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Jax.
Comment from despiser
Boy how would you like to find a pic of yourself with this title Lol.
An interesting style Boz. It weaves through a series of grim depictions then finishes on a sombre note.
Maybe if she wore makeup and spiced up her jewelry?
Then quaff back 8 beers and who knows.
I thought the raisin losing its breath line added a touch of humour.
Good work on this one
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Boy how would you like to find a pic of yourself with this title Lol.
An interesting style Boz. It weaves through a series of grim depictions then finishes on a sombre note.
Maybe if she wore makeup and spiced up her jewelry?
Then quaff back 8 beers and who knows.
I thought the raisin losing its breath line added a touch of humour.
Good work on this one
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Desipiser.
Comment from bluerose675
This is very sad and I quite like the repetition "old decrepit woman". It reinforces the severity of her situation. I don't quite understand her holding the baby though. Perhaps it could have flowed a little better. Just watch the consistency of the rhythm and rhymes. Overall though I enjoyed reading your poem.
All the best.
Norma
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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This is very sad and I quite like the repetition "old decrepit woman". It reinforces the severity of her situation. I don't quite understand her holding the baby though. Perhaps it could have flowed a little better. Just watch the consistency of the rhythm and rhymes. Overall though I enjoyed reading your poem.
All the best.
Norma
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you Rose.
Comment from Connie P
This is certainly a woeful poem. I'm not sure the repetition is the literary device you're looking for to give this poem impact. For me it was a distraction. Line 2 seems out of place, is the baby symbolic? Stanza 2 is my favorite, very strong!!
Connie
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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This is certainly a woeful poem. I'm not sure the repetition is the literary device you're looking for to give this poem impact. For me it was a distraction. Line 2 seems out of place, is the baby symbolic? Stanza 2 is my favorite, very strong!!
Connie
Comment Written 25-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2011
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Thank you .