Selections For Book Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "African Wind"possible selections for inclusion in book project
74 total reviews
Comment from ciliverde
To understand me, just a little, you must close your eyes. Keep them closed tight and open them (open your mind...listen)
Listen...
you are all around me... (this is rather incredible!)
But my favorite part is the final section:
"Listen
forging ahead always steady
always for you
but only if you hear me
African wind
for it is rare"... this is real free verse, real ideas explored using new language. I love the repeated use of the word "listen". It is an underused ability. Really listen...and really see...it is rare.
Is African wind rare? I don't know, but the image of it is striking.
Your presentation is lovely. You are very talented, my friend,
Carol
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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To understand me, just a little, you must close your eyes. Keep them closed tight and open them (open your mind...listen)
Listen...
you are all around me... (this is rather incredible!)
But my favorite part is the final section:
"Listen
forging ahead always steady
always for you
but only if you hear me
African wind
for it is rare"... this is real free verse, real ideas explored using new language. I love the repeated use of the word "listen". It is an underused ability. Really listen...and really see...it is rare.
Is African wind rare? I don't know, but the image of it is striking.
Your presentation is lovely. You are very talented, my friend,
Carol
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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I don't really know if it's rare. I think the African wind I'm writing about is. :))
I'm so humbled by your wonderful words. You always make me feel like a writer. You understand this perfectly in every way. I can't ask for more. So pleased. Thank you, mikey
Comment from meldarthx
I love the concept of the poem; and music picked for it. Well done; the imagery is also well done.
Now bad parts which pull down the score for me - its the flow; little bit of the structure; and the ending. It ends too abrupt; maybe with indeed on the end it would flow so much better there. Also watch repeating same letters in beginning of your prose; as that also disrupts the flow.
With some polish this can go from a good poem to a great one. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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I love the concept of the poem; and music picked for it. Well done; the imagery is also well done.
Now bad parts which pull down the score for me - its the flow; little bit of the structure; and the ending. It ends too abrupt; maybe with indeed on the end it would flow so much better there. Also watch repeating same letters in beginning of your prose; as that also disrupts the flow.
With some polish this can go from a good poem to a great one. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 18-May-2016
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You want me to add "indeed" to the end. LOL
Should it be big for impact and with an exclamation point?
Perhaps something like, INDEEDY DO!!!!
Not sure what you mean about the repeating letters in my prose. I'll have to ponder that for some time to come. Thanks for taking a look. I see I'm in some spectacular company with other poets you consider good, so I'm pretty excited about that. Some of the best poets on the site. I guess I'm a member of "The Good Poets Society". Oh, Captain, thanks so much. mikey
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nope just Indeed; I'm just trying to throw some constructive criticism. One of the first things I've learned through different poets; classes; university etc. More people tear apart a piece; the better it can and will become. Also don't be offended if someone does tear your piece apart. Otherwise; you'll end up offended...a lot
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I'm always appreciative of constructive criticism. You must realize, however, that by offering it you are laying claim to a certain level of expertise in doing so. In other words, you are claiming to have the knowledge to offer critique that might improve a piece. I've looked at your review history and I believe you overestimate your prowess as a reviewer. I'll set my piece aside of course. You consistently mark down stellar work with suggestions that would lesson the quality of the work not improve it. So you see, just offering criticism doesn't automatically attach the word "Constructive" to it. If course, your opinions are your own and I certainly don't begrudge you having and expressing them in the least. I'm merely responding as you seem to feel the need to somehow chastise me as one unable to accept criticism. So, that being not the case, I felt compelled to offer an explanation. Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond. Looking forward to next time. mikey
Comment from Senyai
This is truly delicious to listen to, Michael. I enjoyed the Enya music while reading the poem also. Free verse is so freeing, letting the message come through above all else. No constricting form to adhere to. Here it worked well with your African wind traveling in and out of the souls of men. I especially liked the last lines to wrap it up.
"forging ahead always steady
always for you
but only if you hear me
African wind
for it is rare"
Senyai
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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This is truly delicious to listen to, Michael. I enjoyed the Enya music while reading the poem also. Free verse is so freeing, letting the message come through above all else. No constricting form to adhere to. Here it worked well with your African wind traveling in and out of the souls of men. I especially liked the last lines to wrap it up.
"forging ahead always steady
always for you
but only if you hear me
African wind
for it is rare"
Senyai
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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What a wonderful uplifting review, Senyai
I'm just smiling from ear to ear.
I couldn't be more pleased that you enjoyed this so much.
Thanks a million. mikey
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Listen,
the repetition of this simple word brings a special glory to your poem.
The accompaniment by Enya lends a special touch.
Listen,
and you might hear the
African Wind..
Lovely, best wishes, Michael in the contest.
:-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Listen,
the repetition of this simple word brings a special glory to your poem.
The accompaniment by Enya lends a special touch.
Listen,
and you might hear the
African Wind..
Lovely, best wishes, Michael in the contest.
:-) Carolyn
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Hi, Carolyn
Yes, by your words I see you understand completely what I wanted to convey. That makes me so happy. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from Toneyear
How beautiful the poem with the music but I liked the words by themselves, better. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself and best wishes to you. Tina
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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How beautiful the poem with the music but I liked the words by themselves, better. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself and best wishes to you. Tina
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Hi, Tina
What better words to hear than the words stand alone. How nice of you to say. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from krys123
Hi Mikey;
-African Wind is a very powerful and compelling romantic poem that indirectly and especially directly perceive one's understanding of what true love is and how free love can be.
- this imagery both metaphorical and direct is distinctly clear and definitively expressive and most vividly and demonstratively descriptive:
-I spent most attention to the poetic layout of your writing with the black background in the white print that most favors this outstanding piece of poetry.
- the picture and music video both are very appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of this writing.
-good luck in the contest Mikey and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Hi Mikey;
-African Wind is a very powerful and compelling romantic poem that indirectly and especially directly perceive one's understanding of what true love is and how free love can be.
- this imagery both metaphorical and direct is distinctly clear and definitively expressive and most vividly and demonstratively descriptive:
-I spent most attention to the poetic layout of your writing with the black background in the white print that most favors this outstanding piece of poetry.
- the picture and music video both are very appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual theme of this writing.
-good luck in the contest Mikey and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Gee, Alex. I'm truly humbled by your complementary review. Wow. I'm so delighted you enjoyed this. I've never written a poem while listening to music before. Maybe I'll try this more often. I kind of enjoyed the experience and the results. Blessings to you, mikey
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you're very welcome Mikey and may you have a lovely week.
Alex
Comment from create4christ
I love Enya! I love your slide show. It brings such peace to me. I also think your poem structure is very unique. It kinda makes me thing of listening to a piano. Of course, your back ground is perfect. You have great description. I like it!!
Thank you for sharing, Michael. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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I love Enya! I love your slide show. It brings such peace to me. I also think your poem structure is very unique. It kinda makes me thing of listening to a piano. Of course, your back ground is perfect. You have great description. I like it!!
Thank you for sharing, Michael. Well done.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Hi, Create
Wow. I can't ask for more uplifting words. I'm smiling and as happy as can be. So pleased you enjoyed this. Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from Jose Saic
Tenderness, music and love, are present in this beautiful verses, dedicated to african wind. The reader can enjoy the well achieved images of this poem, that make our mind to follow the cretivity of the poet.
Congratulations.
I liked it.
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Tenderness, music and love, are present in this beautiful verses, dedicated to african wind. The reader can enjoy the well achieved images of this poem, that make our mind to follow the cretivity of the poet.
Congratulations.
I liked it.
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, Jose
What a wonderful description you've written. I'm just delighted with they way you depict my piece. Big smiles. Muchos estrellas es bueno!! LOL. Hows my Spanish? Gracias, miguel
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You are welcome. I liked very much your poem.
Comment from patcelaw
Michael this is a beautiful poem and the music to go along with it makes it a real pleasure to read and listen to, may your evening be blessed, Patricia
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Michael this is a beautiful poem and the music to go along with it makes it a real pleasure to read and listen to, may your evening be blessed, Patricia
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Thanks, Patricia.
You have blessed it with your lovely words. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from candyfink
I like how your poem feels like a painting of your soul.....and you are a great artist that I want to listen to..................... thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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I like how your poem feels like a painting of your soul.....and you are a great artist that I want to listen to..................... thank you for sharing
Comment Written 18-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Gee, Candybarr, that is a beautiful thing to hear. You've made my evening. Thanks so much. mikey