Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Your killers version of a puppet show is perhaps the most sick, twisted thing to come out of your pen that I have read. You ever read Skip and Spector or their collaborative pen name , Michael Slade? Your killer could have crawled out of their pages. Gruesome. I am glad that he got his just desserts- bang!

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thank you very much for your assessment and feedback, Ed. It's sincerely appreciated.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I have not a 6 left, Dean, I haven't got a mind left now either!!! My goodness, just when I think you can't get more horrific, you post this one! I don't think you will have any problems getting readers for your new book of short stories, there are some pretty morbid people on this site! LOL. Good luck in the contest, Dean! xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thank you very much for your assessment and feedback, Sandra. It's sincerely appreciated.

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Dean. That is a great story mate of a deviate serial killer and his blood lust. That's twice tonight I have been shocked into wondering if I should sleep with the light on LOL. Good luck in the contest I think you have another winner here. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thank you very much for your assessment and feedback, Fez. It's sincerely appreciated.

Comment from Louise Michelle

Excellent

Hi Dean,

OMG! I think I may lose my breakfast. It looks like the macabre Dean is wanting to express himself - go for it, kid.

I love flash fiction and like seeing it on FS, so I'd certainly support you in this new undertaking.

By way of critique: I would end this with the line she smiles in the photograph next to him. That's a good, jolting line which expresses the irony.

Now, you'll have to excuse me while I run to the bathroom to upchuck, hee hee.

Hugs,
Lou

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thank you very much for your assessment and feedback, Louise. It's sincerely appreciated.

Comment from trimple

Excellent

Blimey, Dean

This is different! LOL

Very unexpected and totally unique...

Great visuals in this cringe worthy piece.

The only thing that doesn't seem to click, is the fact that when he sees the copper behind him and runs away. How could he run if he has attached the cat gut to his manhood?


Otherwise, a cracking flash fiction.

Good luck :)

Trimple

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

Hah, well, that fishing twine would really be pulling tightly, if you know what I mean, Tracey. And yes, I wanted readers to get that painful impression as well. But this guy enjoys inflicting pain, and receiving it. We've all heard of the type. Erotic asphyxiation, dominatrix and whips and chains...all of that creepy stuff? He won't be needing his "junk" any longer anyhow...right?

Thanks so much for the outstanding feedback. it really helps a lot. :)

~Dean

reply by trimple on 12-Mar-2015

Hi, Dean

Yes I got the fact that your puppeteer enjoys pain, but realistically, he could not flee! LOL

He could however, yank away... :)

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

Yank! Yeah, I like that much better, Tracey. I'll get right on it...no pun intended, heh-heh... ~Dean

reply by trimple on 12-Mar-2015

:)

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

It took some finagling, but I think I managed it. Tell me what you think of the revision, when you have time.

Much obliged, Tracey. :)

reply by trimple on 12-Mar-2015

Yup that better, or you could write...

Quickly, I yank on the cat gut and tear away toward the bedroom?

reply by trimple on 12-Mar-2015

In either case, I think 'tear away' would 'come' across, better :)

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-a-a-aaaaaa...!

You slay me, Tracey. Heh-heh... :)

reply by trimple on 12-Mar-2015

I just though that yank away and tear toward the bedroom' would inflate the already orrid scene lol :)

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Dean,

A very visceral entry into the competition.

Very well written as usual and well presented. I liked that a lot.

Good luck in the competition.

GMG

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

Thanks very much, Gareth. I know I took a big gamble in writing something so brutally violent, and I'm quite sure I'll hear about it from several reviewers, despite the warnings for excessive violence and sexual content I've set in place.

The saddest thing about this story is that there are people lurking in the darker recesses and shadows in our world today who think and act like a lot like my grotesque Puppeteer. I think the most frightening monsters are the ones who could be real, waiting right outside our own front doors.

Thanks so much again for the excellent feedback and contest well wishes. :)

~Dean

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Exceptional

Goodness, Dean. This went almost too far into the horror for me, but is as always, very well written. Sounds like we should be expecting some pretty scary stuff. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes in the contest~Debbie

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

Yes, I realize it is one of my more violently gruesome efforts, Debbie. Hence the stern warnings I put in place for violence and sexual content. However, I wanted the reader to be repulsed by this creep. I felt it was necessary, and rather hard to achieve in such a short write. I guess based upon your exceptional rating and comments, I did exactly that. The saddest thing about this story is there are people lurking in the shadows out there who are just like the Puppeteer. No remorse, no mercy -- Just insane, predatory killing machines.

Thanks again for your fantastic review. :)

~Dean

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

I hope that means you are writing a book, maybe a novel? Are you going to get it published? I hope so as you have become one of my favorite writers on here. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2015

Thanks, dmt, that is very kind of you to say.

I do have a book deal in the works as a matter of fact. Although the stories I wish to feature in this series will be made up of entirely horror flash fiction. My book, "Screams from a Darkened Room: and other tales of terror", should be out sometime late this summer or early fall. It will be available at Samhain Press (https://www.samhainpublishing.com/books/horror), or at retailers such as Amazon.com.

Thanks again for your fantastic feedback. It is very much appreciated. :)

~Dean