Cold Metal
Homeless Veteran70 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow! Powerful piece! I have often wondered how those young men had the courage to rush to probable death on that long, wide beach like sitting ducks. I can only imagine it, and even that is too ugly to bear. Weaponry has improved so much due to technology that soldiers no longer have to rush toward bullets, but still they see horrific things in smaller scattered groups. It would all stop if the leaders themselves would fight it out and leave the citizens out of their disputes.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Wow! Powerful piece! I have often wondered how those young men had the courage to rush to probable death on that long, wide beach like sitting ducks. I can only imagine it, and even that is too ugly to bear. Weaponry has improved so much due to technology that soldiers no longer have to rush toward bullets, but still they see horrific things in smaller scattered groups. It would all stop if the leaders themselves would fight it out and leave the citizens out of their disputes.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Phyllis, for your wonderful review. I wonder the same, but he wouldn't talk much about it all.
Comment from judester
A great poem with so much meaning and truth. Now we have another generation of these soldiers with the same fate. You have the gift of creating a strong image and feeling of whatever you write about. An old blanket or a soldier you paint a vivid pcture. Cheers Judester
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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A great poem with so much meaning and truth. Now we have another generation of these soldiers with the same fate. You have the gift of creating a strong image and feeling of whatever you write about. An old blanket or a soldier you paint a vivid pcture. Cheers Judester
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, judester. It never seems to stop, does it? I appreciate it!
Comment from emjaihammond
You have done a nice job of presenting this subject. It is both sadly entertaining and informative. My father-in-law was part of the third wave on the beaches of France on D-day. The stories he told were frightening. He kept them all to himself until the 50th anniversary of that day, when he told his son he had been there. He said he had no desire to go back there again when his son asked if he didn't want to go on the anniversary trip. A memory he really never talked about. You have done an excellent job of writing a story that is personal and part of our history.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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You have done a nice job of presenting this subject. It is both sadly entertaining and informative. My father-in-law was part of the third wave on the beaches of France on D-day. The stories he told were frightening. He kept them all to himself until the 50th anniversary of that day, when he told his son he had been there. He said he had no desire to go back there again when his son asked if he didn't want to go on the anniversary trip. A memory he really never talked about. You have done an excellent job of writing a story that is personal and part of our history.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and for sharing your own thoughts on it all. I appreciate that so much! My uncle was also very quiet about it, though another uncle was in the island campaigns and told me about it when he was near death. I'll never forget him telling me about Iwo Jima, Guadalcanal, and the Leeward Islands.
Comment from michaelcahill
This is possibly the most shameful thing this country has done, allowed its veterans to die homeless on the streets. I have been involved helping veterans here in our city and It is unbelievable how many there are. It is hell trying to get benefits with all of the paperwork. Sometimes it is a simple act of filing out a form, but they don't know how. No one to help them at the V.A. Unless someone helps they are out of luck. I know three personally that died on the streets of our fair city. Two of them for sure would have survived with decent care. I may be a bleeding heart liberal, but I feel anyone that goes into battle for this country should never worry about a damn thing again for the rest of their lives. Great piece. So, sadly on the money. The people passing them by in this case isn't the government, it's us! An even bigger shame. mikey
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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This is possibly the most shameful thing this country has done, allowed its veterans to die homeless on the streets. I have been involved helping veterans here in our city and It is unbelievable how many there are. It is hell trying to get benefits with all of the paperwork. Sometimes it is a simple act of filing out a form, but they don't know how. No one to help them at the V.A. Unless someone helps they are out of luck. I know three personally that died on the streets of our fair city. Two of them for sure would have survived with decent care. I may be a bleeding heart liberal, but I feel anyone that goes into battle for this country should never worry about a damn thing again for the rest of their lives. Great piece. So, sadly on the money. The people passing them by in this case isn't the government, it's us! An even bigger shame. mikey
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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I couldn't agree more, Mikey, and thank you very much. I remember all of the homeless in Santa Monica. I really appreciate what you've done, and you're so right that we should treasure the veterans.
Comment from c_lucas
Throughout the centuries, the inhumanity of war has had a negative effect on the participants. This is very well written. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Throughout the centuries, the inhumanity of war has had a negative effect on the participants. This is very well written. Good job.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, Charley!
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You're welcome, Marillion. Charlie
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
I like the way you do these sestets; the rhyme scheme complimenting the casualness of language lends a modern reality to the drama. The 'boys' are just an integral part of the 'institution' now, the bottom part. These 'boys' are multiplying like clothes hangers these days. An excellent poem; a sorry situation. Kenny
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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I like the way you do these sestets; the rhyme scheme complimenting the casualness of language lends a modern reality to the drama. The 'boys' are just an integral part of the 'institution' now, the bottom part. These 'boys' are multiplying like clothes hangers these days. An excellent poem; a sorry situation. Kenny
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Kenny, for your great review, the sixer, and your understanding.
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I'm a regular at the VA since Oct. '07. I admire your range and I think, pretty-near, everything you write is exceptional.
Comment from cg
Your eloquent words transported me to the fields in France with ease that I may watch the demise of man. I enjoyed reading this piece.
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Your eloquent words transported me to the fields in France with ease that I may watch the demise of man. I enjoyed reading this piece.
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Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, cg, for your wonderful review.
Comment from Acquired Taste
Heart-wrenching is the only word that comes to me right now - and likely the only one that will stay with me. I know Vietnam Vets suffering the same perilous life.
This is a haunting statement and you are blessed to be able to put this into words. So many have tried and failed. You should be proud to have captured the tortured existence of some of our heroes - regardless of the decade they served.
I wish I had seven stars. AT=/
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Heart-wrenching is the only word that comes to me right now - and likely the only one that will stay with me. I know Vietnam Vets suffering the same perilous life.
This is a haunting statement and you are blessed to be able to put this into words. So many have tried and failed. You should be proud to have captured the tortured existence of some of our heroes - regardless of the decade they served.
I wish I had seven stars. AT=/
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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AT, I'm so honored by your review, the sixer, but especially your kind words. This one means a lot to me, as I picture that man who did his duty, but ended up lost within his mind, never to really leave that beach.
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I cannot tell you how emotional your poem is right now. I did not lose family in the wars, but I did lose several boyfriends from my class. They are truly the unsung heroes and to this day - they are not remembered, taken care of, nor acknowledge for their service or lives they gave to protect our freedoms. This has touched a nerve and I hope it touches others! Well done - good and faithful friend!
jean
Comment from trimple
What a terribly tragic tale. All too often we see the streets of society cast people aside after fighting yet another unjust war. Your poem is rich with emotion without harping on. Another fine write.
kind regards
trimple
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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What a terribly tragic tale. All too often we see the streets of society cast people aside after fighting yet another unjust war. Your poem is rich with emotion without harping on. Another fine write.
kind regards
trimple
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, my friend. It always breaks my heart.
Comment from 24chas
WOw! That's all I got, brother. Wow. You tell this so vividly it's hard to believe you weren't right there, but I appreciate the author notes, which tell a story within a story. Great work!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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WOw! That's all I got, brother. Wow. You tell this so vividly it's hard to believe you weren't right there, but I appreciate the author notes, which tell a story within a story. Great work!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Chas, for that sixer and great review, brother.