All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "In Velvet Dark"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from Bina1
I believe you have achieved the passion! What a great poem, a grand dance! Good luck in the contest, a fine entry you offer.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I believe you have achieved the passion! What a great poem, a grand dance! Good luck in the contest, a fine entry you offer.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much Bina - I won! yeah!! :)Sharyn
Comment from 9999pool
Wow! This requirement of 'make us feel the heat and passion of your lovers without being vulgar or blatant..clean enough so you don't need to put any warnings on your poem' and being the witty clever one, this line already done that 'we're connected soft and moist in secret places' - which is the most clean and nice graphic description of our wants and needs, LOL. The rest is just as clean learning towards the final seduction of the hearts.
Excellent story for the writing prompt. Good luck!
Now there are so many dance poems for the prompt..my heart already started, a few dance poems ago. And no one wants to left out on this dance action.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Wow! This requirement of 'make us feel the heat and passion of your lovers without being vulgar or blatant..clean enough so you don't need to put any warnings on your poem' and being the witty clever one, this line already done that 'we're connected soft and moist in secret places' - which is the most clean and nice graphic description of our wants and needs, LOL. The rest is just as clean learning towards the final seduction of the hearts.
Excellent story for the writing prompt. Good luck!
Now there are so many dance poems for the prompt..my heart already started, a few dance poems ago. And no one wants to left out on this dance action.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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well there you are, dance partner Ritchie ... glad you enjoyed it dear!
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Yes, I did. Cheers.
Comment from Mike K2
I enjoyed this well written poem very much and love the airs and senses you include with it. I also feel it meets the contest criteria and wish you the best.
It is such a shame in today's world you can dirty dance, but are shunned when it comes to slow dancing.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I enjoyed this well written poem very much and love the airs and senses you include with it. I also feel it meets the contest criteria and wish you the best.
It is such a shame in today's world you can dirty dance, but are shunned when it comes to slow dancing.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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crazy, hmmm? I'd love to see a return to "slow" dance Mike.
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from ReaThomas
Beautiful. As a writer, I really struggle to describe the art of dancing and yet you have achieved this wonderfully. Good luck with the contest you are in - I really enjoyed this!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Beautiful. As a writer, I really struggle to describe the art of dancing and yet you have achieved this wonderfully. Good luck with the contest you are in - I really enjoyed this!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Rea! :)Sharyn
ps: I won! yippee! :)
Comment from cephira
Enjoyed your rhythmic dance so very much! The images of breathing each others breath, the silken stockings, the tuxedo, the shoes...oh, my! You certainly pulled off a hypnotic trance here! Best of luck in the contest!
Cephira
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Enjoyed your rhythmic dance so very much! The images of breathing each others breath, the silken stockings, the tuxedo, the shoes...oh, my! You certainly pulled off a hypnotic trance here! Best of luck in the contest!
Cephira
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much Cephira - I won! yeah!! :)Sharyn
Comment from Dawn Munro
Very nice poem; lovely internal, occasional and slant rhyme, a good cadence for this free verse; (of course we need to see that for dance.)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Very nice poem; lovely internal, occasional and slant rhyme, a good cadence for this free verse; (of course we need to see that for dance.)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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well of course we do dear - thanks so much Dawn! :))Sharyn
Comment from ZBaron
After reading the author's notes, I read the poem again thinking about a heart beating and it really works. The pacing is fantastic as well as the more than passionate wording. Very well done and good luck with this great entry.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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After reading the author's notes, I read the poem again thinking about a heart beating and it really works. The pacing is fantastic as well as the more than passionate wording. Very well done and good luck with this great entry.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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so glad you enjoyed this one Zack - it won! yeah! :)Sharyn
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That's great. Congrats on the win!
Comment from juliedickson55
Very provocative and seductive poem you have here.
Nice rhythm in this poem, I love the image and presentation of your piece.
Good alliteration:
taut tuxedo
and I like this:
urgent stirring
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Very provocative and seductive poem you have here.
Nice rhythm in this poem, I love the image and presentation of your piece.
Good alliteration:
taut tuxedo
and I like this:
urgent stirring
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much Julie ... haven't seen you posting for a while?? :)S
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hi and thanks for noticing...after my father's death in Dec, and service in Jan...I just haven't gotten back to being active here. I don't have a lot of free time, and have spent more of it with family lately. Julie
Comment from hopeflys
I really like reading your poem. The words flowed lovely together and I really enjoyed reading your piece. Well done. Hopeflys 0:D
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I really like reading your poem. The words flowed lovely together and I really enjoyed reading your piece. Well done. Hopeflys 0:D
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much my dear! :)Sharyn
Comment from dragonpoet
Very passionate. It shows you what a simple dance can do to a couple. The closeness in the dance leads toward another kind of bodily closeness. I like the end. Seduce my heart. It shows love not lust.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Very passionate. It shows you what a simple dance can do to a couple. The closeness in the dance leads toward another kind of bodily closeness. I like the end. Seduce my heart. It shows love not lust.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much dp! :)Sharyn
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You are so very welcome, Sharyn.
Joan