All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "Twenty-five Years"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
89 total reviews
Comment from ELumpkins
There is a Wal-Mart card for happiness. If this post is a picture of their marriage, I feel sorry for them. My wife and I have been married over sixty years and still enjoy that certain look one gets when in love. If this marriage is still intact after twenty-five years, there is hope. I wish them the best.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
   |
There is a Wal-Mart card for happiness. If this post is a picture of their marriage, I feel sorry for them. My wife and I have been married over sixty years and still enjoy that certain look one gets when in love. If this marriage is still intact after twenty-five years, there is hope. I wish them the best.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Thx!
Kindly re-read the review guidelines:
The site offers a six star scale for ranking work. Here's a guideline:
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
Comment from lewische
Oh,this made me feel so sad - proving that your poem has hit the mark. Such disillusion, set in juxtaposition to the Wal-Mart card with its tawdry display. I think that, sadly, this is the truth of so many 'enduring' relationships. A strong, emotive and honest poem, the sense of which lingered on after reading. Very well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Oh,this made me feel so sad - proving that your poem has hit the mark. Such disillusion, set in juxtaposition to the Wal-Mart card with its tawdry display. I think that, sadly, this is the truth of so many 'enduring' relationships. A strong, emotive and honest poem, the sense of which lingered on after reading. Very well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thank you so much lewis - so nice to get a real review, rather than peoples' "opinions" of marriage! bless you! :)
-
You are very welcome! Best regards, Cherri.
Comment from MumEsGirl
You have certainly hit the nail on the head with this work. It is well written and captures the readers attention from the start.
there is nothing more lonely than living with somebody and being so distant
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
You have certainly hit the nail on the head with this work. It is well written and captures the readers attention from the start.
there is nothing more lonely than living with somebody and being so distant
hugs
kate
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
yep - you have that right kate!
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Poet,
You have described so many married couples. The longer some live together the more complacent they become. I like the words you chose to express yourself and using Wal-mart is genius. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Hi Poet,
You have described so many married couples. The longer some live together the more complacent they become. I like the words you chose to express yourself and using Wal-mart is genius. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thx chey!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is verrry well done. It's honest and believable and might actually be what many marriages are like. I wouldn't know, but this is convincing.... That's good writing. :)
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
This is verrry well done. It's honest and believable and might actually be what many marriages are like. I wouldn't know, but this is convincing.... That's good writing. :)
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Then I've been successful Phyllis! Never been married? wise lady!!! :)
-
Oh, I've been married all right... for 35 years to the same wonderful guy! :)
-
good for you Phyllis! 26 for me! :)
Comment from Ekim777
Love like life surely is not infinite, at least the human kind. John Donne compares 'true' love to two parallel lines meeting only at infinity but he was as metaphysical poet. And his life couldn't have been that passionate or exciting. Of course they say we should all mature to a stage of caring and sharing; why not. It's we two against the world, is that a contradiction? Whatever the case, relationships should not be passionately static but moving, transforming and naturally changing. Some people mature slowly but mature good. If we can laugh together that is a good sign.
Best wishes. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Love like life surely is not infinite, at least the human kind. John Donne compares 'true' love to two parallel lines meeting only at infinity but he was as metaphysical poet. And his life couldn't have been that passionate or exciting. Of course they say we should all mature to a stage of caring and sharing; why not. It's we two against the world, is that a contradiction? Whatever the case, relationships should not be passionately static but moving, transforming and naturally changing. Some people mature slowly but mature good. If we can laugh together that is a good sign.
Best wishes. -Ekim777
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
I totally agree my dear! :)
Comment from Craigitar
Very well written! How many of us old married couples can identify with this poetic exposure? I love the last line! Good job and luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Very well written! How many of us old married couples can identify with this poetic exposure? I love the last line! Good job and luck with the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thank you so much!
Comment from TammyGail
I like the back and fourth in this verse
it adds to the fill... well written and heartfelt
excellent use of imagery and color scheme
Best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
I like the back and fourth in this verse
it adds to the fill... well written and heartfelt
excellent use of imagery and color scheme
Best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thx Tammy!
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes you have done very well with this approach to the contest you can be lonely even in a marriage at times this is well written good luck in the contest regards Jill
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Yes you have done very well with this approach to the contest you can be lonely even in a marriage at times this is well written good luck in the contest regards Jill
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thx Jill!
Comment from Katherine2
I think loneliness inside a marriage is one of the most difficult types of loneliness. "Well...we are together, yes...but we walk parallel lives, eyes straight ahead" Oh, this is so sad, but so very often happens. I believe you have captured a true sense of loneliness in this poem. It's a winner.~ Katherine
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
I think loneliness inside a marriage is one of the most difficult types of loneliness. "Well...we are together, yes...but we walk parallel lives, eyes straight ahead" Oh, this is so sad, but so very often happens. I believe you have captured a true sense of loneliness in this poem. It's a winner.~ Katherine
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Thank you so much Katherine - I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to read and reflect on what is read. :)