Fire Inside
A short poem162 total reviews
Comment from E_A_Dominguez
This is a great poem. Were you trying to rhyme the first and last line? If so or if not it works well. The picture is a great fit as well. Good job.
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This is a great poem. Were you trying to rhyme the first and last line? If so or if not it works well. The picture is a great fit as well. Good job.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2012
Comment from jhp124gr
Very nice, a simple yet a complex poem. I liked it. More love is what the world needs. :) The photo you added does the poem justice. Great job on this. Bravo
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Very nice, a simple yet a complex poem. I liked it. More love is what the world needs. :) The photo you added does the poem justice. Great job on this. Bravo
Comment Written 12-Jun-2012
Comment from Darakhshan17
First one, really? Very good for the first one! I like it. I like the 7 syllable line the best-you pour embers from your heart. Thanks for sharing!
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First one, really? Very good for the first one! I like it. I like the 7 syllable line the best-you pour embers from your heart. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from bowls
I've never written one of these, so I'm no expert, but I know I like the sound of this. The rhyme of spark and dark along with the hard sound of heart give a crackling sound to the line endings - almost like the sound of a fire.The repetition of you is addictive as it suggests the intensity of the speaker's feelings for this person. I also like the imagery - especially the warm, glowing embers that have a deep significance here. Nicely done.
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I've never written one of these, so I'm no expert, but I know I like the sound of this. The rhyme of spark and dark along with the hard sound of heart give a crackling sound to the line endings - almost like the sound of a fire.The repetition of you is addictive as it suggests the intensity of the speaker's feelings for this person. I also like the imagery - especially the warm, glowing embers that have a deep significance here. Nicely done.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Janet Foor
I love 5-7-5 poems that are written well where so much is said in so few word. You created a picture of romance in every word. Nice work.
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I love 5-7-5 poems that are written well where so much is said in so few word. You created a picture of romance in every word. Nice work.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Elladella
Good 5-7-5.
Very well put together - good color scheme and graphic layout,
good usage of words and sounds. Alliteration functions well and rhyming is smooth and not at all "forced".
Well done!
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Good 5-7-5.
Very well put together - good color scheme and graphic layout,
good usage of words and sounds. Alliteration functions well and rhyming is smooth and not at all "forced".
Well done!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from nancy_e_davis
A very hot message. I can see you take pride in your work because you present it in a beautiful way. You are very clear in yor message. She turns you on! LOL Good job Honeycomb
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A very hot message. I can see you take pride in your work because you present it in a beautiful way. You are very clear in yor message. She turns you on! LOL Good job Honeycomb
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from gramalot8
Vincent, this was a beautiful poem, especially for the frist try at this style. I love the image of loving someone it creates embers in the heart. Good job and thanks for sharing with us.
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Vincent, this was a beautiful poem, especially for the frist try at this style. I love the image of loving someone it creates embers in the heart. Good job and thanks for sharing with us.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Solacium Mariae
As easily as you thought it would, I assume?
Either way, the poem is excellent. The image, of course, helps. But without it, it is still very well done. Your alliteration, and starting each line with you is very powerful.
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As easily as you thought it would, I assume?
Either way, the poem is excellent. The image, of course, helps. But without it, it is still very well done. Your alliteration, and starting each line with you is very powerful.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Larry Talbot
Very powerful images at work here. The heat of the fire, the light pressing against the dark...the mystery of ignition.
It's difficult to paint these kind of vibrant images with so few words, but you've done it. The piece conveys the sense of who you are and who you are writing to. There's great power here. Well done.
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Very powerful images at work here. The heat of the fire, the light pressing against the dark...the mystery of ignition.
It's difficult to paint these kind of vibrant images with so few words, but you've done it. The piece conveys the sense of who you are and who you are writing to. There's great power here. Well done.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
