Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Grampus Saves the World"A collection of my poems
74 total reviews
Comment from Chris Tee
Excellent and humorous!
This work is well composed and indeed a good entry in the contest.
It was a pleasure read which put some smiles on my dial.
A rather splendid effort here old sport.
I wish you darn good luck here!!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Excellent and humorous!
This work is well composed and indeed a good entry in the contest.
It was a pleasure read which put some smiles on my dial.
A rather splendid effort here old sport.
I wish you darn good luck here!!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thanks, old chum!
Comment from words
You have illustrated a point that I long thought was true,
the animal population is a lot smarter than we are. LOL
I especially liked:Than the curry known as korma
And the weather's either cyclones, floods or drought
I just don't understan' it
Why he's killing his own planet;
If he can't change, the world will end, no doubt."
"By Pluto, Mars and Venus,
Man's a very silly genus;
He'd destroy his home sweet home and ours as well.
If we don't find a solution
To this atmosphere pollution,
Then we're headed on the downward path to Hell!"
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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You have illustrated a point that I long thought was true,
the animal population is a lot smarter than we are. LOL
I especially liked:Than the curry known as korma
And the weather's either cyclones, floods or drought
I just don't understan' it
Why he's killing his own planet;
If he can't change, the world will end, no doubt."
"By Pluto, Mars and Venus,
Man's a very silly genus;
He'd destroy his home sweet home and ours as well.
If we don't find a solution
To this atmosphere pollution,
Then we're headed on the downward path to Hell!"
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you - there is no doubt the animal population would make a better job of looking after the planet.
Comment from heyjude
Mystery author, you have done an excellent job of crafting
this humorous poem for the animal opinions contest. I
thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I think you have a good chance
of winning with this one.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Mystery author, you have done an excellent job of crafting
this humorous poem for the animal opinions contest. I
thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I think you have a good chance
of winning with this one.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you - the path to winning is a mystery - to me all my poems are winners!
Comment from laren
A beautiful poem, funny and well written with a profound message.
Humans than any animal prey voraciously and are destroying the planet's sustainability.
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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A beautiful poem, funny and well written with a profound message.
Humans than any animal prey voraciously and are destroying the planet's sustainability.
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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mucho gracias
Comment from JuneYvonne
Absolutely brilliant! Mystery poet - I don't know if you are Australian, but your poem reminded me so much of Banjo Paterson's "Clancy of the Overflow", example below:
...And an answer came directed
in a writing unexpected,
And I think the same was written with a thumb-nail dipped in tar)
'Twas his shearing mate who wrote it
and verbatim I will quote it:
"Clancy's gone to Queensland droving, and we don't know where he are..."
If you don't know it, Google it - I think you'll love it. It has always been one of my favorite poems, but yours is just as clever with a strong message, and equally as funny. You have absolutely nailed the brief and you well deserve a six star rating and my vote - well done!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Absolutely brilliant! Mystery poet - I don't know if you are Australian, but your poem reminded me so much of Banjo Paterson's "Clancy of the Overflow", example below:
...And an answer came directed
in a writing unexpected,
And I think the same was written with a thumb-nail dipped in tar)
'Twas his shearing mate who wrote it
and verbatim I will quote it:
"Clancy's gone to Queensland droving, and we don't know where he are..."
If you don't know it, Google it - I think you'll love it. It has always been one of my favorite poems, but yours is just as clever with a strong message, and equally as funny. You have absolutely nailed the brief and you well deserve a six star rating and my vote - well done!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Yes, i do know Banjo Patterson quite well. I hadn't made the connection between the rhyme/rhythm pattern of Clancy and my verse but it may have been there subconsciously. Thank you so much for the six stars and the kind words - greatly appreciated.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
The wisdom of the Gampus does impart an urgency to change, but is the climate really warmer when new discoveries have shown the world's oceans are two degrees warmer than when Al Gore made his dire predictions. And why do FanStorians in South Africa and Australia complain each day in poems, essays and poem about their now frozen butts brought on by climate chage.
I daresay that the Gampus had it right when he blamed pollution for world ills, but that does not stand alone as the golden key for future perfection. That's why environmentalists now call the problem climate change and dropped global warming as its mantra.
I love your writing with its great flow, rhyme and cadence. Joy to the mighty Gampus may he keep up his quest.
Good luck!
Roger aka Marilyn's writing partner
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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The wisdom of the Gampus does impart an urgency to change, but is the climate really warmer when new discoveries have shown the world's oceans are two degrees warmer than when Al Gore made his dire predictions. And why do FanStorians in South Africa and Australia complain each day in poems, essays and poem about their now frozen butts brought on by climate chage.
I daresay that the Gampus had it right when he blamed pollution for world ills, but that does not stand alone as the golden key for future perfection. That's why environmentalists now call the problem climate change and dropped global warming as its mantra.
I love your writing with its great flow, rhyme and cadence. Joy to the mighty Gampus may he keep up his quest.
Good luck!
Roger aka Marilyn's writing partner
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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thank you - you are most welcome to challenge the message - it's not really a big deal for me - even if sea levels are rising, I don't think I'll be around when they come lapping at my door...
Comment from jcladner
Wow, so terrific! This is such a clever, well written piece. The idea for the poem is unique and interesting, and the rhyming is perfect. I adore the last line of the poem. I gave it six stars, because I would enjoy reading it over and over. Great job and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Wow, so terrific! This is such a clever, well written piece. The idea for the poem is unique and interesting, and the rhyming is perfect. I adore the last line of the poem. I gave it six stars, because I would enjoy reading it over and over. Great job and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you - I almost got heartburn over the last line actually - I did want to have him finally get to see his flying fish but ummed and ahhed about repeating the word flying...
Thanks for the six and the kind words
Comment from Janie King
This is very well-done. I don't have that much imagination in my whole body..I love the picture and enjoyed the rhythm this poem had as I read it. Some little guy will have a blast reading about this fish. God bless,
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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This is very well-done. I don't have that much imagination in my whole body..I love the picture and enjoyed the rhythm this poem had as I read it. Some little guy will have a blast reading about this fish. God bless,
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Now I am pretty sure that comment about the imagination is not true.... in a different domain perhaps.
Thanks for the kind words.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading your poem about Grampus and I thought it was very cleverly written. It was very well thought out and I hope you do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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I enjoyed reading your poem about Grampus and I thought it was very cleverly written. It was very well thought out and I hope you do well in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you!
Comment from Rose Hearth
Your wry look at this situation is a lesson to be learned. Your rhyme is strong and this poem flows like a bedtime story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Your wry look at this situation is a lesson to be learned. Your rhyme is strong and this poem flows like a bedtime story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind words.