CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Red River"A collection of poetry
69 total reviews
Comment from Jazh
This is a great haiku for this contest...you've drawn a vivid picture with it. As I understand it, a 'satori' sums up the previous two lines? In which case, wouldn't it be more appropriate to have the first line last? Just a question from my poetic ignorance! I particularly love the alliteration of that 'red river rages' - it would make a very strong opening line. Good luck with it. :)
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This is a great haiku for this contest...you've drawn a vivid picture with it. As I understand it, a 'satori' sums up the previous two lines? In which case, wouldn't it be more appropriate to have the first line last? Just a question from my poetic ignorance! I particularly love the alliteration of that 'red river rages' - it would make a very strong opening line. Good luck with it. :)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
Comment from words
Loved the red with black type.
Think you got a miss with the last line. I only count 4 sylables...thought you needed five.
Images strong.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Loved the red with black type.
Think you got a miss with the last line. I only count 4 sylables...thought you needed five.
Images strong.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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WHOOPS!!! Rage is suppose to be plural - rages. THANKS for catching that! Major faux pas. And for your great review. Change being done now. With regards, Sue
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We have to stick together in the jungle of typos and punctuation nazis.
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You vill doo it ziss vay anz no uzzah vay!!!!! LOL!!
Comment from MaureenC
Volcano!! It is really a terrifying word. Once nature's rage is let go then nothing can stop the coming torment.
This is a well written piece.
Good luck
Mauseyc
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Volcano!! It is really a terrifying word. Once nature's rage is let go then nothing can stop the coming torment.
This is a well written piece.
Good luck
Mauseyc
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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It is a great word, isn't it?! Thanks so much for your great review! Sue :-))
Comment from jaeladarling
Some people are fascinated with volcanoes; they scare me! LOL They're like nature's planted bombs. I could never live in a town close to one.
Anyway, way to show the destructive forces of nature in this simple poem. Enjoyed the read. Cheers!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Some people are fascinated with volcanoes; they scare me! LOL They're like nature's planted bombs. I could never live in a town close to one.
Anyway, way to show the destructive forces of nature in this simple poem. Enjoyed the read. Cheers!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Living here in the prairies, I have no worries. Ha! No, I wouldn't want to live at the foot of one. Thanks for your very kind review! Sue :-)
Comment from Minglement
Ooooh, this is an excellent entry for dominoe's vulcano contest. I wondered about his spelling, and notice he says the exact word 'vulcano' MUST be used. You might double check. Otherwise, I can't imagine a better entry. What an image, 'Red River'. Love it! Good luck.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Ooooh, this is an excellent entry for dominoe's vulcano contest. I wondered about his spelling, and notice he says the exact word 'vulcano' MUST be used. You might double check. Otherwise, I can't imagine a better entry. What an image, 'Red River'. Love it! Good luck.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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It may be a "British" thing. I'll check with him. Thank you SO much for your great compliments! So encouraging. And for your most kind review. With warmest regards, Sue
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Thanks for highlighting that point. I checked Ray's poem and he has written his as volcano. Appreciate your bring it up, though. :-))
Comment from Sophiaalexandra
This was a very good take on the volcano contest. It's neatly written and expressed in a way slightly more poetic and clear than soem others I've read. Nice job.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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This was a very good take on the volcano contest. It's neatly written and expressed in a way slightly more poetic and clear than soem others I've read. Nice job.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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I really appreciate your compliments! Very encouraging. And thank you for your very kind review. With regards, Sue :-))
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You're welcome. I'm just stopping in to let you know that my book paranormal agency by sophia alexandra is available now on amazon. com. its my first book and i'm really hoping for some new readers. I have a sample chapter up in the blog section and i plan to put up more chapters in the future. hope you'll give the book a chance! Thank you!
Sophia Alexandra
Comment from Joan E.
Your 5-7-5 is a more unusual entry--it appears to involve a real event. The image you create certainly does not need a picture to be visualized. And, the satori is successful. I really enjoyed the bonus of alliteration.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Your 5-7-5 is a more unusual entry--it appears to involve a real event. The image you create certainly does not need a picture to be visualized. And, the satori is successful. I really enjoyed the bonus of alliteration.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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I took a helicopter and flew very low over Mauna Loa once. It was spectacular to see the red molten lava running like a river. Thanks for all your compliments and review. Sue :-)
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Wow--I had the same experience. I've written two haiku based on that experience; one has the word volcano in it, but I'm trying not to submit it, because I don't want to work my fingers to the bone trying to earn the currency to promote it!
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So cool! Over Mauna Loa?
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Oh, yes. We used to have a condo on Maui; we loved it and used to go at least three times a year to justify the ownership. We sold it because it was keeping us from traveling to other parts of the world. I think I mentioned to you that it's my husband's mantra to go to the exotic places "while we can still walk."
I could not resist entering the volcano contest after all, but with just one of the pair of haiku I mentioned ("appeasing the gods").
Comment from moosegal
First off, I really like the red background. It adds more oomph to an already powerful piece. You said so much within the syllable constraint. I like the image that this volcano is really pissed off after having been silent for 100 years. Perhaps it had much to say in that time and it now finally had the chance. "Red river rage" is fabulous and succinct without using the obvious lava word. Great job!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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First off, I really like the red background. It adds more oomph to an already powerful piece. You said so much within the syllable constraint. I like the image that this volcano is really pissed off after having been silent for 100 years. Perhaps it had much to say in that time and it now finally had the chance. "Red river rage" is fabulous and succinct without using the obvious lava word. Great job!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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Ha! Yeah, it's angry! I'll never forget when I flew in a helicopter over Mauna Loa. Was practically on top of it. The red river of molten lava still is imprinted in my mind. Thanks so much for your great review! Sue
Comment from Paradox Tremors
You're right, once she blows, she ain't quiet. Suggest you make the words a size bigger or change the color of the letters to read easier. Love it.
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reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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You're right, once she blows, she ain't quiet. Suggest you make the words a size bigger or change the color of the letters to read easier. Love it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2009
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I've tried to go to advanced editor and clicked on larger font. Just won't do anything. Arghh! Any words of advice?? Thanks so much for your comments and review! Sue
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when you type it out use bigger font than normal or use advance editor, highlight your words and hit medium or large fonts.
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Yeah, I did both. I used larger letters on "Word" and pasted. But that didn't work.
Then, I went to advance editor, highlighted the poem, clicked on a larger font and nothing happened. Tried it 3 times and gave up. Guess I'll ask Tom what I'm doing wrong. But, thanks for trying to help me. :-))