CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 148 "Solace"A collection of poetry
138 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
6teezkid, your work is simple and yet powerful..interesting write..solace...to upraise..to comfort or alleviate..each line speels this out very well as the human connection in a moment of doubt, hurt and vulnerability can give oneencouragement and warmth to prevail in life's sometimes weary travel...well done..
you are gifted ..jlsavell
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6teezkid, your work is simple and yet powerful..interesting write..solace...to upraise..to comfort or alleviate..each line speels this out very well as the human connection in a moment of doubt, hurt and vulnerability can give oneencouragement and warmth to prevail in life's sometimes weary travel...well done..
you are gifted ..jlsavell
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from jmyron
Well written, hence the stars, but the relationship you describe seems one sided. you are willing to listen and be there for him, but you are not willing to let him help you through your dark times.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Well written, hence the stars, but the relationship you describe seems one sided. you are willing to listen and be there for him, but you are not willing to let him help you through your dark times.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much for your generous review and comments.
At this very particular moment, my only need is to be held and when he feels the same way, I'll be there; needing no explanation from him if that is what he wishes.
Just wanted to see if you re-read it, you could feel the reciprocity. Would love to hear back from you, either way! With warmest regards, Sue
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Yeah, I really got that the first time. But upon rereading is I think that maybe I was wrong in another way. I think that both of you aren't trying to get the full benifit of what a relationship can be. I hope that it will grow into such a relationship.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo 60skid .....
This is well written with good rhyming and there is nothing that I would suggest changing.
The line which stands out for me is ...
"I give to you no burden ..."
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
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Hullo 60skid .....
This is well written with good rhyming and there is nothing that I would suggest changing.
The line which stands out for me is ...
"I give to you no burden ..."
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from daviwake
This is good. Really good.
For only with your touch
Am I in this calm space
And when you are in need
I'm there with my embrace
This is simple and effective - no striving for clever effect - but calm and measured. The rhythm of the words help the meaning. In fact it is difficult to explain why this last verse works so well. Simplicity I think is the key.
Compared with
My heart has been heavy
The road has been unkind
There is the slightest whiff of cliche about these two lines and I am sorry to mention it - it's a bit reminiscent of a couple of lines from Bette Midler's "The Rose"
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Nice in a song but a bit trite. I like the song btw and sing it in the choir of which I am a member. I am really rabbiting on now.
Final message is that I love the poem.
David
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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This is good. Really good.
For only with your touch
Am I in this calm space
And when you are in need
I'm there with my embrace
This is simple and effective - no striving for clever effect - but calm and measured. The rhythm of the words help the meaning. In fact it is difficult to explain why this last verse works so well. Simplicity I think is the key.
Compared with
My heart has been heavy
The road has been unkind
There is the slightest whiff of cliche about these two lines and I am sorry to mention it - it's a bit reminiscent of a couple of lines from Bette Midler's "The Rose"
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Nice in a song but a bit trite. I like the song btw and sing it in the choir of which I am a member. I am really rabbiting on now.
Final message is that I love the poem.
David
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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David, thanks for 'rabbiting' on! HA! I will have to go look at all the lyrics of that song now. And perhaps revisit my poem and consider a slight 'tweak'. I most certainly appreciate your most generous review and specific comments. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from mamre07
Sharing with a friend is awesome as it is the exchange of energy in the best ways possible. I love the intensity of this piece as it communicates the loyalty of true friends or lovers.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Sharing with a friend is awesome as it is the exchange of energy in the best ways possible. I love the intensity of this piece as it communicates the loyalty of true friends or lovers.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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I want to thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. And for your very generous comments! Much appreciated. With regards, Sue
Comment from Artasylum
a tender and truly loving piece and the reciprocate of such love is lucky indeed and i hope they know it...thanks so much yours, diana
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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a tender and truly loving piece and the reciprocate of such love is lucky indeed and i hope they know it...thanks so much yours, diana
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Diana, thank you very much for your most generous review and lovely comments. So appreciated! Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from jackiesmuse
Poignant poem and filled with important life hints about human interaction.
Vulnerable, so tired
In need of an embrace
With strong arms and deep heart
[did you want the lines seperate like that?]
You take me from that place
I so enjoyed the read. Thank you for posting this.
:-) Jackie
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Poignant poem and filled with important life hints about human interaction.
Vulnerable, so tired
In need of an embrace
With strong arms and deep heart
[did you want the lines seperate like that?]
You take me from that place
I so enjoyed the read. Thank you for posting this.
:-) Jackie
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008
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Jackie, thank you for pointing out the "hints about human interaction". It is precisely what I wanted to convey in this piece. Not only what my need would be at any given time, but how we all need that other human touch. I want to thank you for your most generous review and lovely comments. Warmest regards, Sue
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My pleasure. Great write!
Comment from c_lucas
A very well written poem with a very good cadence making for a very smooth read. It has very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
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A very well written poem with a very good cadence making for a very smooth read. It has very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi 6teezkid..This is a sad and poignant poem and one that tugs at the heart strings. You have chosen to write this with little or no punctuation, instead you have let your line breaks work for you. A sad but lovely poem...blessings....chey
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Hi 6teezkid..This is a sad and poignant poem and one that tugs at the heart strings. You have chosen to write this with little or no punctuation, instead you have let your line breaks work for you. A sad but lovely poem...blessings....chey
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008
Comment from Janelle
I really liked this piece. It had a lovely relaxing feel about it. It is amazing how just having someone you care about, whoever that may be, can calm you and reinvigorate you when things are not going too well, or even if you're just tired, just by holding you close, wrapped in their arms. This flowed beautifully and illustrated that feeling of solace, totally. Regards, Jan
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I really liked this piece. It had a lovely relaxing feel about it. It is amazing how just having someone you care about, whoever that may be, can calm you and reinvigorate you when things are not going too well, or even if you're just tired, just by holding you close, wrapped in their arms. This flowed beautifully and illustrated that feeling of solace, totally. Regards, Jan
Comment Written 19-Nov-2008