How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Intermezzo B.Y.O.B"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
81 total reviews
Comment from pbearse
I usually do try to analyze a story, first with a quick glance to judge my intererest in the subject matter and then the reasons for the story and its impact on both reader and writer. I then go through to see what I might change. I love the history of social / cultural environments so most are comfort zones for me but also do recognize that not all feel the same. This is an excellent essay
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2007
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I usually do try to analyze a story, first with a quick glance to judge my intererest in the subject matter and then the reasons for the story and its impact on both reader and writer. I then go through to see what I might change. I love the history of social / cultural environments so most are comfort zones for me but also do recognize that not all feel the same. This is an excellent essay
Comment Written 04-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2007
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Thank you for your ready encouragement. I admire your work so much that I feel very special when you remind me that what I write can be helpful. As I write a little voice keeps telling me, "This is crap. Everyone knows it already. Why remix an old stew? But then I get special crits from people like you who tell me, "Go on with it!" Thanks for that.
Jay
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Anytime Jay
Comment from Plaid
I enjoyed reading this work, as usual, but I didn't find it as helpful as the other additions. The beginning seemed to drag on a bit, then all of the sudden it ended! I realized then that this was just a prelude to the topic, but I thought it might work better with a shorter introduction and the meat of the topic within the same article.
Ladies, don't forget to lift the lid when you finish! = Finally, the males have been properly represented.
Thanks again for sharing your insights.
Cheers,
Plaid
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2007
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I enjoyed reading this work, as usual, but I didn't find it as helpful as the other additions. The beginning seemed to drag on a bit, then all of the sudden it ended! I realized then that this was just a prelude to the topic, but I thought it might work better with a shorter introduction and the meat of the topic within the same article.
Ladies, don't forget to lift the lid when you finish! = Finally, the males have been properly represented.
Thanks again for sharing your insights.
Cheers,
Plaid
Comment Written 04-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2007
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Thank you Plaid for your VERY helpful commentary. I totally agree with you. The warm up was too long and the first inning: three up and three down. Game called until better weather. (What is this guy saying?) Anyway, it was designed to be one full (but unfortunately very long) chapter. I realized I would lose lots of readers. So I had to sever it. The next part will be meaty -- I promise you that!
Please do stay aboard for it.
Jay
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I certainly will! And I know what you mean about length. You post anything listed over a few minutes in length, and Fanstorians avoid it like the plague.
Looking forward for more!
Comment from Dane Moore
Very thought provoking. It seems to me most of us are struggling to be published, and we need to learn all I can.
Thank you for your insight.
Who's to say what it takes to make a writer. Each of us need different things.
Keep up the good work, Dane Moore
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Very thought provoking. It seems to me most of us are struggling to be published, and we need to learn all I can.
Thank you for your insight.
Who's to say what it takes to make a writer. Each of us need different things.
Keep up the good work, Dane Moore
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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I appreciate the thoughtful and kind comments, Dane. I hope you stay aboard for succeeding chapters -- at least the next one which really completes this.
Jay
Comment from mshugh
Economics one-oh-one
So true.
I still however laugh when you ask an editor or Agent what is saleable - they can never provide a definitive answer - They'll know it when they see it"
Good chapter - no SPAGs - no typos
Nicely done
Michael
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Economics one-oh-one
So true.
I still however laugh when you ask an editor or Agent what is saleable - they can never provide a definitive answer - They'll know it when they see it"
Good chapter - no SPAGs - no typos
Nicely done
Michael
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Thank you very much, Michael for your kind words and thoughtful commentary. Of course, if it were definitive then writing could be done with the ease of a cookie making recipe. I'm glad it's not easy, though some editors and agents are dolts!
Jay
Comment from IndianaIrish
Hello Mr. Jay! Glad to see another chapter in the critting series and I look forward to the next chapter as the continuation--the intermezzo ends and Act 2 begins. I think of writing as an ever-constant learning. I know I get better by reading other writer's works and learning by their success or failure. But I also feel like a sponge sometimes when people share their insights in how to improve...and I love squeezing what I learned into my writing and trying to make it better. Does that make any sense? lol Thanks, Jay. And as Marvin said,..."let's get it on!"
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Hello Mr. Jay! Glad to see another chapter in the critting series and I look forward to the next chapter as the continuation--the intermezzo ends and Act 2 begins. I think of writing as an ever-constant learning. I know I get better by reading other writer's works and learning by their success or failure. But I also feel like a sponge sometimes when people share their insights in how to improve...and I love squeezing what I learned into my writing and trying to make it better. Does that make any sense? lol Thanks, Jay. And as Marvin said,..."let's get it on!"
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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My received crits wouldn't be complete without the encouraging words from my friend, IndianaIrish. And, yes and amen to what you said. Who was it who proclaimed "Life is short and art is long..."? I feel comfortable, though, having you along the journey.
Jay
Comment from mslink1
Ladies, don't forget to lift the lid when you finish! (lol...now that's critting:)
Then, if it "does get" published it has already exceeded (is published)
I know it started tilting in that direction, but that's not the chapter's intent.=14 words (Wordy...Suggest: Although tilting in that direction that's not the chapter's intent. =10 words My opinion
You have one sentence that has over 100 words in it and it, in my opinion, needs to be broke down into three sentence, even two, simply for easier reading. Plus it can can be reworded for unnecessary words. Jay...bare in mind, this is only my unstable opinion, because you know I'm nuts, lol.
I like the suggestion on studying a book for it's writing style etc., great idea. Many good suggestions in this chapter.
So ... as Howie Mandel would say on Deal Or No Deal, "let's get it on! ...LOL, gotta love it, Mary.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Ladies, don't forget to lift the lid when you finish! (lol...now that's critting:)
Then, if it "does get" published it has already exceeded (is published)
I know it started tilting in that direction, but that's not the chapter's intent.=14 words (Wordy...Suggest: Although tilting in that direction that's not the chapter's intent. =10 words My opinion
You have one sentence that has over 100 words in it and it, in my opinion, needs to be broke down into three sentence, even two, simply for easier reading. Plus it can can be reworded for unnecessary words. Jay...bare in mind, this is only my unstable opinion, because you know I'm nuts, lol.
I like the suggestion on studying a book for it's writing style etc., great idea. Many good suggestions in this chapter.
So ... as Howie Mandel would say on Deal Or No Deal, "let's get it on! ...LOL, gotta love it, Mary.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Mary... as usual you're over the top! Thank you for your helpful crit. I am pasting it to word and will check it against the paper text this weekend. Please don't miss the next one. I get down and dirty with deep-level critting on this short story.
Jay
Comment from TomandOma
Very interesting. A. Conan Doyle is not a contemporary of mine, although some may think so, but I've been rereading 'The Complete Treasury of Sherlock Holmes.' Instructive, to say the least.
The first of these stories, published in The Strand Magazine, is an eye-opener. In it, A Scandal in Bohemia, Doyle goes on and on and on with no speech-tags. I had to laugh, thinking of all the erudite directions on how the modern writer can achieve that.
NOTES:
You?ll develop and<----an ear and even a nose for what?s right and what?s not.
I'm enjoying your series very much; the serious message, delivered in a deliberately bantering and unstuffy style, is crammed with mind-expanding possibilities. Keep them cards and letters cummin'. Doris
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Very interesting. A. Conan Doyle is not a contemporary of mine, although some may think so, but I've been rereading 'The Complete Treasury of Sherlock Holmes.' Instructive, to say the least.
The first of these stories, published in The Strand Magazine, is an eye-opener. In it, A Scandal in Bohemia, Doyle goes on and on and on with no speech-tags. I had to laugh, thinking of all the erudite directions on how the modern writer can achieve that.
NOTES:
You?ll develop and<----an ear and even a nose for what?s right and what?s not.
I'm enjoying your series very much; the serious message, delivered in a deliberately bantering and unstuffy style, is crammed with mind-expanding possibilities. Keep them cards and letters cummin'. Doris
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Hi Doris. You are so kind and helpful in your crit. Thank you so very much. I'll get that nit taken care of right away. Bless you....
Jay
Comment from tecate
Sorry about the six ******, but I was out of ones...I usually save a couple for emergencies. As usual I look forward to reading and digesting your self-help articles, and find they make me stop and think about what I'm doing. Thank you for taking the time to write these guide lines...Tecate
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Sorry about the six ******, but I was out of ones...I usually save a couple for emergencies. As usual I look forward to reading and digesting your self-help articles, and find they make me stop and think about what I'm doing. Thank you for taking the time to write these guide lines...Tecate
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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My God, tecate, how you do spoil this old man! But, you'd be welcome bearing a one because I would know it deserved it. You're da bomb!
Jay
Comment from Martie
Hi Jay
"let's get it on!"
Great ending...now, back to the beginning. I look forward to these chapters because I learn so much. I already knew, that in order to write, one must read; but I've hesitated to do the marker thing, well, because I've felt it sullies the enjoyment of the story. I'm finding, however, that the more I write, the harder it is to read, just for pure enjoyment. :(
Even in this chapter of yours, I was finding things like: being impressed by your punctuation. I am a beginner in that, maybe because of my free-form poetry. *grin*
Thank you again for the experience of reading you and learning from it...what more could one want?
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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Hi Jay
"let's get it on!"
Great ending...now, back to the beginning. I look forward to these chapters because I learn so much. I already knew, that in order to write, one must read; but I've hesitated to do the marker thing, well, because I've felt it sullies the enjoyment of the story. I'm finding, however, that the more I write, the harder it is to read, just for pure enjoyment. :(
Even in this chapter of yours, I was finding things like: being impressed by your punctuation. I am a beginner in that, maybe because of my free-form poetry. *grin*
Thank you again for the experience of reading you and learning from it...what more could one want?
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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You are so sweet, Martie. Marking is okay because, as you'll see next time, I always read it through to it's finish first, without stopping for any critical evaluation. You are an important component to critting my works, not just a welcome guest. Thank you.
Jay
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Laughing at myself here, for spelling write, right.. fixed nowt. Thanks for not mentioning it. :)
Comment from Rogue Rider
I appreciate the concepts of "macro-critting" and "micro-critting", but I have to admit that this piece became a bit too esoteric for me. Perhaps I need to study it some more.
Anyway, here are some comments:
mille-second (millisecond)
one-oh-one (101)
It's much more modest than that. (why did you say this? you're telling me that the rest of what you have to say isn't very important)
how to align your deep-level analysis, as closely as possible (no comma)
if(,) for example, you are American
This is a starting point, for this chapter, anyway(.), It certainly is not
since many of us want to earn our livelihood from their writing (I want to earn a livelihood from MY writing)
Really study them! Not blindly (copy) copying their styles. Study them!
You'll develop (an)and ear
Can we believe a tightrope walker, learns his craft on a wire strung between two buildings, four hundred feet from the ground? Wouldn't he, instead, be flailing about at a height of more like three feet from the ground? (I don't see how this analogy applies in this context)
You also,(no comma) might find (that) a yellow hi-liter can be handy
I should say a few words about the approach I use to arrive at a deep-level understanding of a story: Very simply it is that it is the approach I use. (You didn't actually say anything here; you made it sound as if you were going to say something pithy and profound, and then said nothing)
though even in that it is evolving (what does this phrase mean?)
Thanks for your chapter.
Rogue Rider
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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I appreciate the concepts of "macro-critting" and "micro-critting", but I have to admit that this piece became a bit too esoteric for me. Perhaps I need to study it some more.
Anyway, here are some comments:
mille-second (millisecond)
one-oh-one (101)
It's much more modest than that. (why did you say this? you're telling me that the rest of what you have to say isn't very important)
how to align your deep-level analysis, as closely as possible (no comma)
if(,) for example, you are American
This is a starting point, for this chapter, anyway(.), It certainly is not
since many of us want to earn our livelihood from their writing (I want to earn a livelihood from MY writing)
Really study them! Not blindly (copy) copying their styles. Study them!
You'll develop (an)and ear
Can we believe a tightrope walker, learns his craft on a wire strung between two buildings, four hundred feet from the ground? Wouldn't he, instead, be flailing about at a height of more like three feet from the ground? (I don't see how this analogy applies in this context)
You also,(no comma) might find (that) a yellow hi-liter can be handy
I should say a few words about the approach I use to arrive at a deep-level understanding of a story: Very simply it is that it is the approach I use. (You didn't actually say anything here; you made it sound as if you were going to say something pithy and profound, and then said nothing)
though even in that it is evolving (what does this phrase mean?)
Thanks for your chapter.
Rogue Rider
Comment Written 03-Mar-2007
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2007
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... And, thank you, once again, for your over the top crit. I will be pasting it to word and printing it for a scrutinizing study later (I have to go to a lot of functions today), Suffice it to say, you were right on the button for a few things (more than a few). Thanks for taking the time, friend.
Jay