The waves
The ocean waves.62 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Waves, presented with two tercets and a couplet, is a simple and direct statement that reminds us that we have a life and it will be grand and then another will replace us.
I found this: Then it (too) is forever erased
Happy day.
This poem, The Waves, presented with two tercets and a couplet, is a simple and direct statement that reminds us that we have a life and it will be grand and then another will replace us.
I found this: Then it (too) is forever erased
Happy day.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2023
Comment from jim vecchio
i enjoyed this contest entry and your ingenious use of blue way font to represent the waves. Excellent! The only concern is line six, which I believe should read "too". This is from The king of Typos!
Since I commented on this last time, many have complained about my lack of proper meter or consistent syllables in poems. They have coached me, so now I'm coaching you. I'm still not too good at this, but I believe if you just switch around some words, each line could have 7 syllables:
An Ocean wave only lasts
Until it reaches the shore
Then it's no wave anymore.
A new wave then follows
So willing to take it's place,
Then it too will be erased.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2023
i enjoyed this contest entry and your ingenious use of blue way font to represent the waves. Excellent! The only concern is line six, which I believe should read "too". This is from The king of Typos!
Since I commented on this last time, many have complained about my lack of proper meter or consistent syllables in poems. They have coached me, so now I'm coaching you. I'm still not too good at this, but I believe if you just switch around some words, each line could have 7 syllables:
An Ocean wave only lasts
Until it reaches the shore
Then it's no wave anymore.
A new wave then follows
So willing to take it's place,
Then it too will be erased.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2023
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Thanks, Jim, I very much appreciate your review. Correction made.
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I have to go over every little word I write!