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Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "A Happenstance Conclusion"A series of like minded poems
55 total reviews
Comment from Mackenzie Schmidt
Your poem A Happenstance Conclusion was very well written I'm having a hard time writing this review because it left me speechless. I don't have any critiques to give it was amazing.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Your poem A Happenstance Conclusion was very well written I'm having a hard time writing this review because it left me speechless. I don't have any critiques to give it was amazing.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much, Mackenzie, for this honest and very kind review. Your response says all you need to say. That my writing left you speechless, shows me that I have been successful at communicating my thoughts. Thank you for this wonderful review and exceptional rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
Really enjoyed the musicality of your poem with all the internal rhymes. Your second stanza made me think of Heaven. For those who don't believe, they must view my hope for heaven as a kind of "happenstance delusion." And I don't believe in heaven because of any of my own worth but because of faith in Jesus' love which has "lifted my self-esteem."
One place that I stopped was at:
"My ears intently listen
to playful children sing."
Somehow I felt it would be more natural to say "children singing" or "even children's song" as that sound was the object of the verb listen. Could be just me!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Really enjoyed the musicality of your poem with all the internal rhymes. Your second stanza made me think of Heaven. For those who don't believe, they must view my hope for heaven as a kind of "happenstance delusion." And I don't believe in heaven because of any of my own worth but because of faith in Jesus' love which has "lifted my self-esteem."
One place that I stopped was at:
"My ears intently listen
to playful children sing."
Somehow I felt it would be more natural to say "children singing" or "even children's song" as that sound was the object of the verb listen. Could be just me!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you for the kind comments, and sharing your belief system, and for the polite suggestion of a change in a line in this. I will take your suggestion under consideration. Thank you for your honest review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Definitely several cuts above! I like...psyche sliding onto...smear...
Nice bonus rhymes: steer clear fear hear. Nice alliteration: convoluted confession. (Aren't they often so!) Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Definitely several cuts above! I like...psyche sliding onto...smear...
Nice bonus rhymes: steer clear fear hear. Nice alliteration: convoluted confession. (Aren't they often so!) Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, Liz, for choosing the phrases that spoke to you the most. I appreciate your very kind comments, as well as your favorite rhymes. Thank you for this excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Janet Foor
Amazing artwork Jesse that immediately draws the reader into the poem.
Strong rhymes and good use of alliteration throughout. Many possibilities is an excellent explanation for this piece.
Well done
Blessings
Janet
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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Amazing artwork Jesse that immediately draws the reader into the poem.
Strong rhymes and good use of alliteration throughout. Many possibilities is an excellent explanation for this piece.
Well done
Blessings
Janet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Janet. I am happy the artwork and the line above the title drew you in to read this poem. I appreciate your kind comments. Thank you for your supportive review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Zoe K.
I love the way this poem makes you feel something when you read it. You can understand it from so many perspectives it makes it a treat to read more than once.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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I love the way this poem makes you feel something when you read it. You can understand it from so many perspectives it makes it a treat to read more than once.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Zoe, for your interpretative review. I am pleased to know that you read it more than once. Your kind comments are appreciated.
Take care, Jesse