senryu (kids watermelon)
senryu58 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
I suppose we could ponder on the satori till the cows come home. Was this a good example to set to the kids? Well sometimes the teacher needs to experience life from the kids' point of view. So, unexpected as it is, it has to be a good satori.
You have committed the fatal error of opening the Japanese equivalent of Pandora's Box called "Rules for Haiku". These are like the bible -- never quote one for there is another just around the corner contradicting it. Lol.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
  |
I suppose we could ponder on the satori till the cows come home. Was this a good example to set to the kids? Well sometimes the teacher needs to experience life from the kids' point of view. So, unexpected as it is, it has to be a good satori.
You have committed the fatal error of opening the Japanese equivalent of Pandora's Box called "Rules for Haiku". These are like the bible -- never quote one for there is another just around the corner contradicting it. Lol.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, Pantygynt. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm glad the satori made you ponder a bit. I loved watermelon seeds distance spitting contests when I was a kid. Something you can get away with as a kid.
I just wanted to avoid lower ratings from reviewers who think haiku can only be about nature. Agree the rules for haiku are as vast as the universe. Thanks.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
-
Disgusting habit in my opinion, on a par with seeing how far up the urinal wall the boys can pee. That one is sexist too Lol.
Comment from Teri7
You wrote a haiku about something I love and that is eating watermelon! You used very good descriptive wording and the background color made me think of a juicy watermelon! Great job! Best wishes in the contest! Teri
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
You wrote a haiku about something I love and that is eating watermelon! You used very good descriptive wording and the background color made me think of a juicy watermelon! Great job! Best wishes in the contest! Teri
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, Teri. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the imagery in the poem. Thanks for mentioning the background color looked like watermelon! Happy Easter to you.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from nancyrabbrose
First of all, thank you for your information regarding haikus.
Next, I think yours is excellent. I was a teacher and I can relate (somewhat) to the watermelon scene. I am not sure I would join the spitting, but it is a humorous image. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
First of all, thank you for your information regarding haikus.
Next, I think yours is excellent. I was a teacher and I can relate (somewhat) to the watermelon scene. I am not sure I would join the spitting, but it is a humorous image. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, Nancy. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the humor in the poem. Happy Easter to you.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Tessa Kay
Hubby and I did a seed-spitting competition on our last holiday with orange pips.
Hubby won. Thanks for the clarification of haikus. Very interesting. :)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
Hubby and I did a seed-spitting competition on our last holiday with orange pips.
Hubby won. Thanks for the clarification of haikus. Very interesting. :)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, TessabKay. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the notes. Happy Easter.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Thal1959
Very nicely done. I usually don't prefer the brief poetic forms, though I find it interesting that Haiku seems to encompass just about any combination of syllables per line. I am presuming the teacher that joined in - and I'm presuming the teacher is spitting seeds also - had to be a guy.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
Very nicely done. I usually don't prefer the brief poetic forms, though I find it interesting that Haiku seems to encompass just about any combination of syllables per line. I am presuming the teacher that joined in - and I'm presuming the teacher is spitting seeds also - had to be a guy.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
May I ask why you review haiku or other short poetry if you don't like them? Many people don't care for the Japanese short forms, and they just skip reviewing. Your four stars do make me wonder how the poem could be improved, as that rating signifies improvement is needed. Well, thanks for your time, and just to let you know...it was a lady teacher who joined in the seed-spitting .distance contest with her kids.
Thanks,
Indy :-)
-
Sorry about that, Indiana, it was not suppose to be four stars - that is something that happens either by the reviewers carelessness, or sometimes a glitch by FanStory. I have upped it to five. I don't mind reviewing Haiku occasionally, even though I don't consider it a poetic form. But they can be very artistic. Generally, I will skip poems that have offensive language or are just so bad that there isn't much I can do to help.
-
Thank you so much for your kind reply and change in rating. I truly appreciate your response.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
If only ourt teachers had been so much fun. There isn't one I can picture doing this. I think school would be much better if teachers were a bit more like students, there would have been so much learned. Delightful haiku, my friend. I can't wait for watermelon!DEbbie
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
If only ourt teachers had been so much fun. There isn't one I can picture doing this. I think school would be much better if teachers were a bit more like students, there would have been so much learned. Delightful haiku, my friend. I can't wait for watermelon!DEbbie
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, Debbie. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I can't wait for sweet summer watermelon either.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from royowen
I really like this entry in this haiku poetry contest, (and I like the fact you've pointed out the other adjuncts of haiku, I didn't know that!) it has the added humour of a teacher not losing their sense of childlike fun, great satori, good luck, well done, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
I really like this entry in this haiku poetry contest, (and I like the fact you've pointed out the other adjuncts of haiku, I didn't know that!) it has the added humour of a teacher not losing their sense of childlike fun, great satori, good luck, well done, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, Roy. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the humor in the poem. Thanks for your kind good luck wish in the contest. Happy Easter to you!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
-
You too Karyn,
Comment from lyenochka
That's a fun picture! The unexpected line at the end shows an adult having fun and giving joy to the kids by participating at their level. Great little poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
That's a fun picture! The unexpected line at the end shows an adult having fun and giving joy to the kids by participating at their level. Great little poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for this great review for my watermelon haiku, lyenochka. I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm delighted you enjoyed the fun in the poem.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)