Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Driftwood Sculptress"Poems about the coastline
58 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
What a terrific poem, PG. I spent about 10 minutes trying to plant in my cranium the sistina instructions as I'm always keen on learning more about poetry, being kind of a tin ear.
I love the subtle undertones and flow of your poem. The insight of the found objects being lies until imbued with meaning and truth from the artist. In fact they would've washed away to different parts and decayed had she not rescued those that spoke to her. If I may be so bold as to say needed saving.
I will certainly be putting some thought into creating one of these beauties, but I caution you, don't hold your breath waiting. You may perish before it comes to fruition. Remember imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. :)
Lovely and what a poetic find for me in the Littoral today.
Super poem.
Gloria
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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What a terrific poem, PG. I spent about 10 minutes trying to plant in my cranium the sistina instructions as I'm always keen on learning more about poetry, being kind of a tin ear.
I love the subtle undertones and flow of your poem. The insight of the found objects being lies until imbued with meaning and truth from the artist. In fact they would've washed away to different parts and decayed had she not rescued those that spoke to her. If I may be so bold as to say needed saving.
I will certainly be putting some thought into creating one of these beauties, but I caution you, don't hold your breath waiting. You may perish before it comes to fruition. Remember imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. :)
Lovely and what a poetic find for me in the Littoral today.
Super poem.
Gloria
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you, Gloria for reading, enjoying and reviewing so sympathetically this sestina. They are not easy and I made several changes to my first stanza in order to find the right six words. They are however great fun to do and very rewarding. I look forward to reviewing yours when it comes along.
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Questions? Is it okay to use iambic pentameter throughout the whole poem, and does the positioning of the six words in the final three line stanza have a certain order?
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The iambic pentameter is the usual form when writing in English. Every language has a poetic form whose rhythms most nearly correspond to the natural rhythms of that spoken language. That is why we can listen to Shakespeare and not be overcome by the poetry, because English and the iambic pentameter a a neat fit. The Sestina, being a French form will probably use a different form when written in its original language. You don't have to use any established form or you can use any one that will fit so the short answer to your question is yes. I just made one line an Alexandrine (defined as a line of 12 syllables) that still had the iambic rhythm to save it from becoming too regular because the sea is not like that.
As to the second question. It's good news day! No, there is no set order in the envoi but each line must end with one of those words and it is usual to use two in each line but I don't think you have to do even that. I hope this makes it all clear. Any more questions or problems with it, don't hesitate to ask.
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Thank you so kindly. I especially enjoyed learning that the poetic form of a language corresponds to its rhythms. That makes perfect sense, but I've never heard it stated so clearly. I don't fell competent to introduce an Alexandrine so I'll just stick with straight IP for now.
YES, glad to hear there is no set order in the envoi. That makes it a little easier to make sense of it all.
You are wonderful! Thank you so much for all your help.
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I don't know what time it is with you but I only got up to go to what I believe you colonials refer to as the john! It was just on 0500 then and i made the mistake of checking for messages. I'm going back to bed now!
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It's only 10 pm here, so you are 7 hours ahead of me. Now go back to bed. And, so many thanks for taking the time to answer my question before I went too far ahead with my Sistina and blew the whole thing. :)
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Good morning, Gloria! So you must be on the Pacific coast then. By the way, it's sestina not sistina. Here we go then, another day, another (membership) dollar.
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Yes I am and you must be in the UK. Thanks for the heads up on the Sestina. :)
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent poem reminded me of my father who made sculptures from found objects. Although I read your notes first as you instructed, I focused on the story you told and the artist's search for material. I can imagine myself there on the beach with her as low tide. This is a highly creative and inspiring poem about creativity and inspiration. Thank you for sharing. I especially love your last line:
Then, from those lies, she crafts the truth she seeks.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Excellent poem reminded me of my father who made sculptures from found objects. Although I read your notes first as you instructed, I focused on the story you told and the artist's search for material. I can imagine myself there on the beach with her as low tide. This is a highly creative and inspiring poem about creativity and inspiration. Thank you for sharing. I especially love your last line:
Then, from those lies, she crafts the truth she seeks.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thank you so much for this sensitive and thorough review. It is much appreciated.
Comment from tfawcus
A couple of literary allusions woven into this one! It has a nice feel about it. One gets the sense of the beachcomber's single-minded search and joy of discovery. I enjoyed your punning on 'lies', for what else are the discarded jewels of the tidal regions both of the littoral and our lives? And yet, when we gather up the mistakes of the past, we can weave new truths out of them.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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A couple of literary allusions woven into this one! It has a nice feel about it. One gets the sense of the beachcomber's single-minded search and joy of discovery. I enjoyed your punning on 'lies', for what else are the discarded jewels of the tidal regions both of the littoral and our lives? And yet, when we gather up the mistakes of the past, we can weave new truths out of them.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Oh you are sharp, Tony! And you put it so well "... discarded jewels of the tidal regions etc." Almost a poem in itself. Thanks for this sensitive and knowledgeable review.
Comment from I am Cat
Ummm... wow. I'm still reeling from the author's notes!
Let me get this straight: "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh joy! Rapture! I got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?"
Wait... no. That was the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz... (never mind)
:)
WOW... oh wait, i said that. I'm still a bit in shock. This a masterpiece. Hell, I just write what comes out of my brain... it just spills like goo onto the page, but you... you have REASON and organization to your thoughts... it's a process! (I've done that too but it's not nearly as much fun). :)
I really think this is an amazing piece and again, I sit here on my tush without a six with which to commend and aware you... WTF?
It's just not right... come back next week. (Isn't that what the Wizard told Dorothy?)
Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch (which you did) and I will grant you your wishes. Ok... my turn!
Only one thing I ask... was this: objet d'art correct? Or should it have been object d'art? (just wondering)
Lovely, wonderful... and what a lucky daughter you have
Cat
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Ummm... wow. I'm still reeling from the author's notes!
Let me get this straight: "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh joy! Rapture! I got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?"
Wait... no. That was the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz... (never mind)
:)
WOW... oh wait, i said that. I'm still a bit in shock. This a masterpiece. Hell, I just write what comes out of my brain... it just spills like goo onto the page, but you... you have REASON and organization to your thoughts... it's a process! (I've done that too but it's not nearly as much fun). :)
I really think this is an amazing piece and again, I sit here on my tush without a six with which to commend and aware you... WTF?
It's just not right... come back next week. (Isn't that what the Wizard told Dorothy?)
Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch (which you did) and I will grant you your wishes. Ok... my turn!
Only one thing I ask... was this: objet d'art correct? Or should it have been object d'art? (just wondering)
Lovely, wonderful... and what a lucky daughter you have
Cat
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Let's get the easy bit done first; objet d'art is right because it is French. It translates as "object of art", the result of artistic work. Objet trouve, also French is literally object found so out of the second comes the first when the artist has got at it. Thank you for that amusing and so complimentary review. The sestina is not easy and the first six lines must be chosen with care, or at least their final words must be. If you choose six nouns you are making a rocky road for yourself. It is better to have a couple verbs and prepositions in their too as they are easier to work to later. Great joy of course if you can come across a word like "lies" with more an one meaning and "tide" that can be tagged on to many words. Great fun to do but time consuming.
Oh yes, I nearly forgot, what's a tush when it is at home or ought I not to ask?
I am about to turn into a pumpkin so good night Cat and thanks for a lovely evening.
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LOL... ah yes, well since I don't speak french I figured it might be as such.
what is the meaning of: What's a tush when it's at home or ought I not to ask?
???
A home tush? lol
Ah, it's only 5 pm here, but I suppose it's much later where you are... yes and it was a lovely evening indeed.
A wonderful piece, I'm very proud of you!
Cat
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I wanted to know what a tush was. You said you were sitting on one. Is it a cushion or that donkey you Americans are always sitting on?
Comment from Bill Schott
I really like the sestina format for the reasons that you allude to in your notes. It is a big canvas with only one rule of end-word order that keeps the theme steady while allowing unlimited creativity. Very good.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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I really like the sestina format for the reasons that you allude to in your notes. It is a big canvas with only one rule of end-word order that keeps the theme steady while allowing unlimited creativity. Very good.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thank you Bill. It's not an easy option you need to choose those six words very carefully if it's going to work right. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from c_lucas
Art is in the eyes and mind of the artist. This is very well written with a interesting flow of words. There is very good imagery. Keep up the good work.
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reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Art is in the eyes and mind of the artist. This is very well written with a interesting flow of words. There is very good imagery. Keep up the good work.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thanks indeed for your sensitive and complimentary review.
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You're welcome
Comment from TAB_that's me
I love picking up sea glass and plan to try some crafts with it. Lovely poem and imagery. I have one problem with it in this line: what she needs will (be)on that beach,
Teresa
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reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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I love picking up sea glass and plan to try some crafts with it. Lovely poem and imagery. I have one problem with it in this line: what she needs will (be)on that beach,
Teresa
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thanks so much for this. A stray comma has mucked up the enjambement; it should read:
"She knows that what she needs, will on that beach
be recognized when seen, ..."
I'll get that corrected.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Beautiful and inspired--a picture of an artist working in search of materials and inspiration for her next piece. The lines are woven wonderfully within the confines of the sestina form in a way that reads entirely naturally.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Beautiful and inspired--a picture of an artist working in search of materials and inspiration for her next piece. The lines are woven wonderfully within the confines of the sestina form in a way that reads entirely naturally.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thank you so very much for this and the six stars. This very much appreciated indeed. I am so pleased that the sestina form worked here for you.