'Twas the Night After Christmas
a parody in rhyming couplets135 total reviews
Comment from Phatsoul77
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reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Paleface, some typing difficulties? Brooke
Comment from DR DIP
yeah this was a fun read Brooke. Enjoyed it and the beat was good just one suggestion?
When out in the alley arose such a commotion,
I couldn't help ponder what caused such emotion.
Away to the closet I flew like a flash
and wondered what weapon to draw from my stash
The adding of the 'a' in the first line I think would help with the rhythm/beat/meter what ever you want to call it.
I am always hesitant to say anything about youir grammar as 1. I am normally wrong
2, you seem to be slightly off put with suggestion of improvement of your work
but hey that's fine I totally understand with your credentials and all
with respect dip
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
yeah this was a fun read Brooke. Enjoyed it and the beat was good just one suggestion?
When out in the alley arose such a commotion,
I couldn't help ponder what caused such emotion.
Away to the closet I flew like a flash
and wondered what weapon to draw from my stash
The adding of the 'a' in the first line I think would help with the rhythm/beat/meter what ever you want to call it.
I am always hesitant to say anything about youir grammar as 1. I am normally wrong
2, you seem to be slightly off put with suggestion of improvement of your work
but hey that's fine I totally understand with your credentials and all
with respect dip
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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I actually made changes that a couple different reviewers suggested in this one. I won't be adding the "a" in this line because I tried to adhere to the syllable count/rhythm of the original poem, but that hardly means I'm "put off" by your suggestion :-) Thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Dip :-) I hope you have a great 2014. Brooke :-)
Comment from Devon Phipps
I love this poem because it felt almost like a short story. I usually never like such long poems but you are very good at them. thanks for posting
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
I love this poem because it felt almost like a short story. I usually never like such long poems but you are very good at them. thanks for posting
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Devon, thank you so very much for your encouraging and generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from forestport12
What unique way you have with poetry and words. "A five day old snow sucked light from the moon." You have a wonderful understanding of nature and how our senses are affected. Love the feel good wonder you sparked and how the rhymes felt natural and unforced. Merry Christmas!
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
What unique way you have with poetry and words. "A five day old snow sucked light from the moon." You have a wonderful understanding of nature and how our senses are affected. Love the feel good wonder you sparked and how the rhymes felt natural and unforced. Merry Christmas!
Comment Written 26-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Forestport, thank you so much :-) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too :-) Brooke
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
This is really wonderful. I love the message. We are often put in a bad mood at not getting a gift we like, when other would love to have the good things we throw away. The homeless and poor are dear to my heart. I have a dear friend who works tirelessly for the homeless. My office collected 6 huge boxes of really nice things for his ministry and surprised him one day when he came to the office. He stepped off the elevator thinking he was there to deliver bread for our office and we were all there to present him with the boxes. He was quite overcome. Really well done. Hope you had a good Christmas. Rox
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
This is really wonderful. I love the message. We are often put in a bad mood at not getting a gift we like, when other would love to have the good things we throw away. The homeless and poor are dear to my heart. I have a dear friend who works tirelessly for the homeless. My office collected 6 huge boxes of really nice things for his ministry and surprised him one day when he came to the office. He stepped off the elevator thinking he was there to deliver bread for our office and we were all there to present him with the boxes. He was quite overcome. Really well done. Hope you had a good Christmas. Rox
Comment Written 25-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Rox, thank you so very much for your graciousness and generosity :-) Your friend sounds like my kind of guy :-) Brooke
Comment from 3boysrule
I just loved this poem/story! It was just perfect on the day of Christmas. This was so full of truth. How we complain about the little things. I really enjoyed this!
Merry Christmas!
Dee
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
I just loved this poem/story! It was just perfect on the day of Christmas. This was so full of truth. How we complain about the little things. I really enjoyed this!
Merry Christmas!
Dee
Comment Written 25-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
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Dee, thank you so very much for your generous and gracious review, and Merry Christmas to you too :-) Brooke
Comment from Cajungirl
I would like to take this opportunity to say congratulations on your recent accomplishments.
Once again, I am WOWED by your poetry. I love this very much. I will read this to my grandchildren. They love your poems, perhaps as much as I do.
Bless you and Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
I would like to take this opportunity to say congratulations on your recent accomplishments.
Once again, I am WOWED by your poetry. I love this very much. I will read this to my grandchildren. They love your poems, perhaps as much as I do.
Bless you and Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
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Thank you so very much, Cajungirl. I truly appreciate your gracious and generous response to this poem, and I'm always thrilled when readers share my work with family members :-) Brooke
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh, Brooke, you know us so well. This is absolutely brilliant and sadly, so true. I guess our selfishness could lead to gifts for the poor at least. My husband loved it too. Well done, Giddy
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
Oh, Brooke, you know us so well. This is absolutely brilliant and sadly, so true. I guess our selfishness could lead to gifts for the poor at least. My husband loved it too. Well done, Giddy
Comment Written 25-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
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Giddy, thank you so very much for your generous and gracious response to this poem - I'm thrilled you shared it with your husband, too :-) Brooke
Comment from Mastery
Cute and clever, Brooke. I liked your rhymes in particular:
"I laughed as I shouted, in spite of myself,
"Wait here while I get you more gifts from my shelf!"
And then when his cart was too full to fit more,
I felt my heart grow at the smile we each wore."
Merry After Christmas! LOL...Bob
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
Cute and clever, Brooke. I liked your rhymes in particular:
"I laughed as I shouted, in spite of myself,
"Wait here while I get you more gifts from my shelf!"
And then when his cart was too full to fit more,
I felt my heart grow at the smile we each wore."
Merry After Christmas! LOL...Bob
Comment Written 25-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2013
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Thanks so very much, Bob :-) Merry After Christmas to you too :-) Brooke
Comment from Craigitar
Great poem, Brooke--message sent and received. An easy and enjoyable read as usual. When I was a kid, the worst thing I could get for Christmas was socks; just a little flashback to a time when I was not as grateful as I should have been. Thanks for the reminder. Craig.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
Great poem, Brooke--message sent and received. An easy and enjoyable read as usual. When I was a kid, the worst thing I could get for Christmas was socks; just a little flashback to a time when I was not as grateful as I should have been. Thanks for the reminder. Craig.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2013
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When I was little my godparents went to the shore and brought me back a set of days of the week panties. I'm told I threw a hissy fit. LOL Thanks so much, Craig :-) Brooke