All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "In Velvet Dark"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
A lovely sequence as one dance leads to another. Seduction tastefully described in free verse. Black and white theme observed even in the graphics. Well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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A lovely sequence as one dance leads to another. Seduction tastefully described in free verse. Black and white theme observed even in the graphics. Well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Nancy! :)Sharyn
Comment from Hareem.S
I love the structure of this poem and how it flows. It is very well penned down with great imagery. It was a pleasure to read it. Good luck for the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I love the structure of this poem and how it flows. It is very well penned down with great imagery. It was a pleasure to read it. Good luck for the contest!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Bless you, Hareem - thank you SO much for your special six. I won! yeah!! :)Sharyn
Comment from Cornelius2000
This is such a seductive poem it almost inspired me to dash into the other room, grab my wife and say "how about it?" It's probably just as well that, at age 78, I don't dash around too much anymore. Good luck with the contest....I don't see how this one can miss winning the prize.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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This is such a seductive poem it almost inspired me to dash into the other room, grab my wife and say "how about it?" It's probably just as well that, at age 78, I don't dash around too much anymore. Good luck with the contest....I don't see how this one can miss winning the prize.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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well ... dash anyway dear! what the heck! Blessings, Sharyn
Comment from jaydub99
I really liked this and it gets my vote. It moves like a tango, stopping an starting with precision and carefully crafted phrasing. I like the line "soft and moist in secret places". It is adult in theme and yet has a childlike playfulness to it. Like I said....my fave.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I really liked this and it gets my vote. It moves like a tango, stopping an starting with precision and carefully crafted phrasing. I like the line "soft and moist in secret places". It is adult in theme and yet has a childlike playfulness to it. Like I said....my fave.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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bless you jay!! so glad you enjoyed! and THANK YOU if you voted for me - I won!! yeah!! :)Sharyn
Comment from Doc Holiday
I really enjoyed this passionate poem and found myself wanting to hear more and more of this lover's dance. I feel like I was in the hallway watching as the door slowly closed and the seduction got too intense for an audience.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I really enjoyed this passionate poem and found myself wanting to hear more and more of this lover's dance. I feel like I was in the hallway watching as the door slowly closed and the seduction got too intense for an audience.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much, doc ... close that door you naughty man! :)Sharyn
Comment from Bobbi22
The romance of the dance can lead to passion. Music and dance evoke so many strong emotions. I love how you take the reader through the dance - closer and closer - to feel the build-up of the passion. Ok, now I can breathe. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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The romance of the dance can lead to passion. Music and dance evoke so many strong emotions. I love how you take the reader through the dance - closer and closer - to feel the build-up of the passion. Ok, now I can breathe. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Bless you, RP! :) Breathe away! :)Sharyn
Comment from l.raven
I do sooooo love to dance. Just love this. Dancing takes you to places you never want to leave. Very well written. Takes your breath away. Linda xx
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I do sooooo love to dance. Just love this. Dancing takes you to places you never want to leave. Very well written. Takes your breath away. Linda xx
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much Linda! :)Sharyn
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You are welcome!!!!xx
Comment from Amenian Aypotheeno
As the song said Life is a dance, so take a chance, sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow, don't worry about what you don't know, for you'll learn as you go... this write has great meter and cadence as you would expect but it done in a way to enhance the effect of your words and you feel breathless as you recite them. Has a real romantic and classic feel about this and you can take each step with your words to happiness... in that heart! Superb :)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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As the song said Life is a dance, so take a chance, sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow, don't worry about what you don't know, for you'll learn as you go... this write has great meter and cadence as you would expect but it done in a way to enhance the effect of your words and you feel breathless as you recite them. Has a real romantic and classic feel about this and you can take each step with your words to happiness... in that heart! Superb :)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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I'm so glad you enjoyed it my dear - a special 'thank you' for your lovely six! :)Sharyn
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Wow! Very passionate love poem. It picks up momentum and steam along the way, pushing to the limit at the end.
A super enjoyable read from start to finish. Love "glide me slide me" and "taut tuxedo".
You have created so many powerful, sensual images for the reader that make this a very passional poem. The flow is excellent as is the accompanying photo.
Excellent Job! Good Luck with the Contest!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Wow! Very passionate love poem. It picks up momentum and steam along the way, pushing to the limit at the end.
A super enjoyable read from start to finish. Love "glide me slide me" and "taut tuxedo".
You have created so many powerful, sensual images for the reader that make this a very passional poem. The flow is excellent as is the accompanying photo.
Excellent Job! Good Luck with the Contest!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thank you so much Connie! :)Sharyn
Comment from David Flynn
Wow, I think this is great! It held my attention from beginning to end. I especially like this line "take me home now taut tuxedo, light my loving, in velvet dark" I'm going to remember that one, great phrasing there..
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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Wow, I think this is great! It held my attention from beginning to end. I especially like this line "take me home now taut tuxedo, light my loving, in velvet dark" I'm going to remember that one, great phrasing there..
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2013
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thx so much David! :)Sharyn