All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Through My Open Door"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
85 total reviews
Comment from songlines
Wish I had a 6stars to give! I really liked this and made me wish I was there. Lovely description of the view from your door - indeed mine would always be open under the circumstances! Only point I would make is that I had to read the first line twice - perhaps a capital 'In' would have done the trick? I love the last two lines before the end. Lovely.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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Wish I had a 6stars to give! I really liked this and made me wish I was there. Lovely description of the view from your door - indeed mine would always be open under the circumstances! Only point I would make is that I had to read the first line twice - perhaps a capital 'In' would have done the trick? I love the last two lines before the end. Lovely.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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Thx so much my dear - I put a capital "I" and a (,) in, just for you - see what you think :)Sharyn
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That does it for me! Sorry to be so picky, but I really struggled to make a useful comment. Thanks.
Comment from K.W.
What a lovely feeling your words bring to me. I can see you sitting there, watching in peaceful contemplation. Beautifully soft with a lovely flow. Excellent imagery. I also really enjoy how you make it personal i.e.
"pour my carefully allotted
second cup of coffee -
with real cream, not the powdery pretend stuff,"
Just lovely:) best, k
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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What a lovely feeling your words bring to me. I can see you sitting there, watching in peaceful contemplation. Beautifully soft with a lovely flow. Excellent imagery. I also really enjoy how you make it personal i.e.
"pour my carefully allotted
second cup of coffee -
with real cream, not the powdery pretend stuff,"
Just lovely:) best, k
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
Thx so much KW! :)Sharyn
Comment from Creative77
What a great poem! Your descriptive words are so beautiful, and flow so nicely. The last line is so empowering! I love it! Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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What a great poem! Your descriptive words are so beautiful, and flow so nicely. The last line is so empowering! I love it! Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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Bless you C77! :)Sharyn
Comment from Curt Mongold
A lovely description of the breaking of the morning. The astute observations you see in your vision as you transfer the sight into words for the reader to share are well played out in the mind.
The only suggestion--
"like frigid tumbleweed"
should be either like a frigid tumbleweed, or like frigid tumbleweeds.
Sincerely,
Curt
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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A lovely description of the breaking of the morning. The astute observations you see in your vision as you transfer the sight into words for the reader to share are well played out in the mind.
The only suggestion--
"like frigid tumbleweed"
should be either like a frigid tumbleweed, or like frigid tumbleweeds.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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thanks Curt! I think of tumbleweed as being like spinifex - so tumbleweed = plural ... but I changed it anyway! :)))
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Being from Texas, we all say them there's tumbleweeds, mam, and I thank ya kindly! :>)
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is sooo coooool. An exceptionally good piece of nature poetry that describes a perfect day when all the elements were friendly and enchanting. kudos
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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This is sooo coooool. An exceptionally good piece of nature poetry that describes a perfect day when all the elements were friendly and enchanting. kudos
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Perp! :)Sharyn
Comment from charlyann
That is a nicely flowing free verse, terrific imagery, great last line, good job on this enjoy your second cup of coffee and good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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That is a nicely flowing free verse, terrific imagery, great last line, good job on this enjoy your second cup of coffee and good luck in the contest
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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thx so much charlyann! :)Sharyn
Comment from David Flynn
All I can say is I've been to Hawaii for one week in my life and could not get enough - its the only place that once I returned my wife and I set out a plan to return.. I am so jealous of you that you have the chance to experience and put into a heart song such beauty on a regular basis.. But I am happy for you too. :) This piece is lovely like your heart.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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All I can say is I've been to Hawaii for one week in my life and could not get enough - its the only place that once I returned my wife and I set out a plan to return.. I am so jealous of you that you have the chance to experience and put into a heart song such beauty on a regular basis.. But I am happy for you too. :) This piece is lovely like your heart.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Bless you, David, for joining me for morning coffee. And yes, we are indeed blessed to be living here! Happy to share it! :))) Sharyn
Comment from Titanx9
Oh my, Sharyn, you've just described paradise. What I wouldn't give to awake to such unforgettable mornings, replete with steaming hot coffee. Am I envious? No, because the bible says I'm not supposed to covet, so I'll sit here and imagine you there in your own perfect Eden. Great job! Good luck!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Oh my, Sharyn, you've just described paradise. What I wouldn't give to awake to such unforgettable mornings, replete with steaming hot coffee. Am I envious? No, because the bible says I'm not supposed to covet, so I'll sit here and imagine you there in your own perfect Eden. Great job! Good luck!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Well you could always come visit, my dear - we could hold an exclusive Fanstory convention! :)))))
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Sounds delightful!
Comment from Selina Stambi
nature's paradoxical jungle ... how well put!
Love the thought of the rooster and his harem ...
As always, classic, vintage visionary!
Spags:
armchair (no hyphen)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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nature's paradoxical jungle ... how well put!
Love the thought of the rooster and his harem ...
As always, classic, vintage visionary!
Spags:
armchair (no hyphen)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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thanks so much my dear - I suspect we probably write "arm-chair" in Australia but it's been a long time, so I'll go all-out American - thx for the catch! and glad you enjoyed my coffee with me! :)Sharyn
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Well dammit it won't let me give you a six. This is brilliant writing and such a great submission for the contest Sharyn.
I thought your imagery and your life prose sort of joined to create a fabulous work. I read it through a few times just cause I wanted to enjoy it again.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Well dammit it won't let me give you a six. This is brilliant writing and such a great submission for the contest Sharyn.
I thought your imagery and your life prose sort of joined to create a fabulous work. I read it through a few times just cause I wanted to enjoy it again.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much Maureen! I've been reading some Billy Collins work lately and thoroughly enjoying him, so this one was easy! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)