All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Bleached Beaches"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
74 total reviews
Comment from fairy77
This is great!Liked it very much and can relate to loneliness and time spent alone.Liked dreams ripped.Liked the vocabulary.Good luck in contest!beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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This is great!Liked it very much and can relate to loneliness and time spent alone.Liked dreams ripped.Liked the vocabulary.Good luck in contest!beth fairy77.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Blessings to you, Beth!
Comment from juliedickson55
Very moving and emotional poem, on the idealism of a new relationship, marriage and dreams....
transcending down a path to loneliness and destruction.
" naked narrow band
third finger
left hand
hiding from the sun"
I understand this and lived it for many yrs.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Very moving and emotional poem, on the idealism of a new relationship, marriage and dreams....
transcending down a path to loneliness and destruction.
" naked narrow band
third finger
left hand
hiding from the sun"
I understand this and lived it for many yrs.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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me too, Julie!
Comment from mermaids
This is a fun poem to read out loud because of your use of words. I like the words bleached beaches,ice cream dreams and cream congealed, the strong consonants give the poem a force and feel of being alone.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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This is a fun poem to read out loud because of your use of words. I like the words bleached beaches,ice cream dreams and cream congealed, the strong consonants give the poem a force and feel of being alone.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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thank you so much for noticing the alliteration, Mermaids ... you can tell that I love words! :)
Comment from Joy Graham
This is an awesome poem! I love how you take us from bleached and colorless beaches into a world filled with color and happiness and then it all turns sour. Best wishes to you in this contest :)
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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This is an awesome poem! I love how you take us from bleached and colorless beaches into a world filled with color and happiness and then it all turns sour. Best wishes to you in this contest :)
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Joy! I'm especially honored by your magic '6'!
Comment from Simple Reflection
Read silently or aloud, both were equally eloquent. This line was especially expressive, "in a lace white world, bridal bright and
wide with smiling possibilities"
The alliteration added to the beauty of the poem. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Read silently or aloud, both were equally eloquent. This line was especially expressive, "in a lace white world, bridal bright and
wide with smiling possibilities"
The alliteration added to the beauty of the poem. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much SR!
Comment from fictionwriter
I love this. It really shows how the same exact place can feel like two completely different worlds, depending on how you feel at the time. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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I love this. It really shows how the same exact place can feel like two completely different worlds, depending on how you feel at the time. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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thank you so much fw!
Comment from Cornetist
You have accomplished your goal..."express the state of loneliness in 15 lines or less"...with a poem that leaves the reader feeling the absence you describe. The only thing I can think of saying is, "The poem IS loneliness"
Cornetist
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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You have accomplished your goal..."express the state of loneliness in 15 lines or less"...with a poem that leaves the reader feeling the absence you describe. The only thing I can think of saying is, "The poem IS loneliness"
Cornetist
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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thank you so much, Cornetist!
Comment from angel123
Your poem is very well written. I like the style in which you wrote it. It flows well and tells a complete story. And I like your artwork choice.
Angel123
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Your poem is very well written. I like the style in which you wrote it. It flows well and tells a complete story. And I like your artwork choice.
Angel123
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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thank you very much angel!
Comment from Capricorn30
Good alliteration in"bleached beaches burst";
"with sweet peaches and ice-cream dreams"--the first stanza talks of love's beauty, the second stanza talks of ugliness, as this sad poem expreses heartbreak--I like the contrast of good and bad, attractive and ugly as a marriage fades away
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Good alliteration in"bleached beaches burst";
"with sweet peaches and ice-cream dreams"--the first stanza talks of love's beauty, the second stanza talks of ugliness, as this sad poem expreses heartbreak--I like the contrast of good and bad, attractive and ugly as a marriage fades away
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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thx so much Capricorn!
Comment from amada
I like the way you write in very powerful, concise, and strong phrases. "when you hold my hand
bleached beaches burst." Powerful statement at the beginning, it draws the reader into it. Great work.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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I like the way you write in very powerful, concise, and strong phrases. "when you hold my hand
bleached beaches burst." Powerful statement at the beginning, it draws the reader into it. Great work.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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thx so much amada!