All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 " One Pure Note"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
120 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn, you certainly lifted my day with you words of joy, that started in the dark and ended with the floating allusion of being on your very own beach, no-one about just you and the sun, and the sand, and the melodic sounds of the waves dancing around in your mind. Well written and congratulations, well deserved. Kindest wishes James xx
You know if you where allowed more sixes you would have them here
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Hi Sharyn, you certainly lifted my day with you words of joy, that started in the dark and ended with the floating allusion of being on your very own beach, no-one about just you and the sun, and the sand, and the melodic sounds of the waves dancing around in your mind. Well written and congratulations, well deserved. Kindest wishes James xx
You know if you where allowed more sixes you would have them here
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Bless you James! I'm so glad you enjoyed this one, because I enjoyed writing it! And a double/triple blessing for your wish for a '6' my dear! So much appreciated!
:) Sharyn
Comment from candi lester
Very awesome loved what you did with putting your heart into this thanks so much for sharing with us
Candi
jo
This was an awesome poem thanks for sharing with us
Loved how you put your heart in to it
once again thanks for
sharing with us much enjoyed it
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Very awesome loved what you did with putting your heart into this thanks so much for sharing with us
Candi
jo
This was an awesome poem thanks for sharing with us
Loved how you put your heart in to it
once again thanks for
sharing with us much enjoyed it
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Candi - so glad to hear you enjoyed this piece! :) Sharyn
Comment from Glasstruth
What sparks happiness? I don't know, but when it happens it's spontaneous like your writing that flows smoothly. Love how you spaced your lines at the end so I could feel that singular note. No wonder you won. Superb! Les
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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What sparks happiness? I don't know, but when it happens it's spontaneous like your writing that flows smoothly. Love how you spaced your lines at the end so I could feel that singular note. No wonder you won. Superb! Les
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Oh Les, you're an angel! Thank you so much for "getting" this piece and for my style, and a special double/triple thank you for giving me one of your precious sixes!
Blessings
Sharyn
Comment from amada
Congratulations in winning the contest! For sure this is awesome in its lyrics and in the message as well. My fave lines, because I know music is a healer as well, are these: "I know happiness is not a myth,it's music in the mists
and I can find it..."
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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Congratulations in winning the contest! For sure this is awesome in its lyrics and in the message as well. My fave lines, because I know music is a healer as well, are these: "I know happiness is not a myth,it's music in the mists
and I can find it..."
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2012
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thank you so much amada! :) Sharyn
Comment from CarloG
This poem is a labryinth that when completed reaps great rewards. a journey, and all it takes is a word and idea or musical note, it's not that easy, but that is the ending when one has come close. Congradulations
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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This poem is a labryinth that when completed reaps great rewards. a journey, and all it takes is a word and idea or musical note, it's not that easy, but that is the ending when one has come close. Congradulations
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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Actually is IS that easy, Carlo - it just needs one magic moment sometimes, yes? blessings for reading & reviewing, my dear!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from DALLAS01
This reminds me of unexplained highs and lows that seem to be predominant around the holidays, when it feels like every nerve we own lies filleted and exposed to what ever the passing sensation may be. And you are so right they can often share the same space.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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This reminds me of unexplained highs and lows that seem to be predominant around the holidays, when it feels like every nerve we own lies filleted and exposed to what ever the passing sensation may be. And you are so right they can often share the same space.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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They can indeed - and the change is just a hair's breadth difference in mental "set" sometimes my dear. Thank you so much for your wonderful '6'! So much appreciated! I love it when someone reads, and really "gets" what I'm on about!
Blessings,
Sharyn
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You're welcome.
Comment from donaldww
I really enjoyed this poem, even though it won a FS contest! LOL
As you ran your finger around the glass, and sent the music into the mist, it brought to mind Ode to a Nightingale (I prefer Hardy's The Darkling Thrush) but that one doesn't relate as much to your poem.
Fled is that music. Do I wake or do I sleep?
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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I really enjoyed this poem, even though it won a FS contest! LOL
As you ran your finger around the glass, and sent the music into the mist, it brought to mind Ode to a Nightingale (I prefer Hardy's The Darkling Thrush) but that one doesn't relate as much to your poem.
Fled is that music. Do I wake or do I sleep?
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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even THOUGH ... ??? I'll have to go back and read those pieces - last read when I was seventeen (two years ago,right?) Bless you for your magic '6' dear DW! I do always appreciate them more when they come from you! :)Sharyn
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sharyn, there is no question why this won. It's superb in every way. I would give you a six, but you have many already and mine won't change things much. I too often run out by mid-week, so I'll be stingier this week. Hope that's okay.
Your phrases are all so poetic, just as they should be. This is impressive (just one example of much to admire):
bone lonely
soul cold
...alone, wind-blown
half a whole
...to hold me
The internal rhymes of OWN and OUL sounds is wonderful! You could teach a class on free verse! It's NOT just a bunch of thoughts on different lines, as most seem to think!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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Sharyn, there is no question why this won. It's superb in every way. I would give you a six, but you have many already and mine won't change things much. I too often run out by mid-week, so I'll be stingier this week. Hope that's okay.
Your phrases are all so poetic, just as they should be. This is impressive (just one example of much to admire):
bone lonely
soul cold
...alone, wind-blown
half a whole
...to hold me
The internal rhymes of OWN and OUL sounds is wonderful! You could teach a class on free verse! It's NOT just a bunch of thoughts on different lines, as most seem to think!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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oh you do make me laugh, Phyllis! no, free verse is NOT justa bunch of thoughts on different lines - they must ALL be connected into one continuous thought for it to work (for me, at least)! blessings, my dear, and a special thank you for a "Phyllis-virtual-but-too-stingy-six"!! :))))))Sharyn
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Thank you for your generosity so that someone who really NEEDS and deserves a sixer can have one. Very kind of you to understand. I'm not hoarding sixes for me... just want to help those more in need of some ego boosting. You are already such a STAR that you don't need FS stars to prove it. Your poetry puts you in an upper echelon that few can even hope to achieve. Brooke is very good too, but free verse, in my opinion, is so much harder to do well than the rhyming stuff. You are definitely #1 in this area.
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Phyllis you have exactly 365 days to STOP ALL THAT PRAISE my friend - you're so funny. I like to give my sixes to people who aren't so well known, too, so I know what you're talking about - no sweat. And really? I appreciate your lovely praise. I never really thought of myself as a poet - much more a script-writer - but this site isn't really for scripts. So I'm having fun. I'm stretching with a story at the moment, so that will be coming up soon I hope. Blessings, my dear!
Sharyn
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I really wish you would write stories instead of scripts. I have tried to read them, but I find it very hard to follow the story with all the director stuff in there. I would definitely read a novel you wrote, or even just short stories.
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got a good story coming up Phyllis - I know scripts aren't everyone's cup of tea, especially if you're not particularly a theatre buff! Just putting the finishing touches on it now - but it's 3500 words - are you up for it??? :))))))))))
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You betcha! :)
Comment from Taffspride
Such vivid imagery in this lovely work. It is easy to see why it was the contest winner.
One could feel such despair in the first stanza
I liked the words "dry grit beach". Although no alliteration in them, for me they were powerful, and were wonderful to say, conjuring up such a picture in my mind.
Good alliteration in "singing salt water Ophelia"
These were my favorite lines
but then I hear on ocean's frigid air
someone singing joy
high and pure enough
to crack the classic chandelier,
like a finger running round the rim
of sparkling crystal glass
The exquisite sound of a pure clear note came through in those words.
Thank you for sharing this most uplifting poetry.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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Such vivid imagery in this lovely work. It is easy to see why it was the contest winner.
One could feel such despair in the first stanza
I liked the words "dry grit beach". Although no alliteration in them, for me they were powerful, and were wonderful to say, conjuring up such a picture in my mind.
Good alliteration in "singing salt water Ophelia"
These were my favorite lines
but then I hear on ocean's frigid air
someone singing joy
high and pure enough
to crack the classic chandelier,
like a finger running round the rim
of sparkling crystal glass
The exquisite sound of a pure clear note came through in those words.
Thank you for sharing this most uplifting poetry.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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Bless you Ann - thank you very much!
"dry grit beach" works well because of the short vowels combined with the short, sharp consonant sounds - something I love to craft ... and I'm so glad you heard my music!
Blessings
Sharyn
Comment from Michele Julian
Beautiful!
Just an exquisite piece with vivid imagery and feeling both raw and beautiful. I loved reading this, your profound use of that Imagery and the symbolism as well made for not only an exceptional piece, but one that cut through to the heart and raw nerves of the reader, well, this one at least...
I loved this and was so much taken in, I thank you!!!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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Beautiful!
Just an exquisite piece with vivid imagery and feeling both raw and beautiful. I loved reading this, your profound use of that Imagery and the symbolism as well made for not only an exceptional piece, but one that cut through to the heart and raw nerves of the reader, well, this one at least...
I loved this and was so much taken in, I thank you!!!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
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Michele, I thank you so much for your wonderful response to this piece - I'm so touched that it "reached" you. And a special, additional thank you for a wonderful 'six' - it's so appreciated.
Best wishes
Sharyn