Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Pineapple Paradise?"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

75 total reviews 
Comment from Mai Mai
Excellent
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This is an interesting piece. I like the way you use an apparent pineapple to represent the wonder of God. Good work and good luck.

Mai Mai

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    thx Mai Mai - certainly an interesting prompt to look at how one's mind works, hmm? :) Sharyn
Comment from mountainwriter49
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good Morning, Sharyn

This poem's message isn't what I was expecting when I began the read. Wow! You've taught me something new. I think I shall always associate a wedge of fresh pineapple with the whale. Thank you for this most informative piece written in strong poetic style.

Well done!
Ray

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    Thank you so much Ray! And a very special thank you for your '6' - I'm honored, and my morning coffee will taste great now!!! Blessings,
    Sharyn
Comment from Angels27
Excellent
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An excellent abstract form of poetry. The readers are taken for a very different experience and their brains are tickled completely. All the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    My brain was tickled too Angels, but hopefully survived! Thank you so much for reading & reviewing! :) Sharyn
Comment from prayingpoet
Excellent
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All I can say is "good work" as usual. You have taken a topic I would never have thought about and turned it into a masterpiece. Well done!

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    Thanks so much Janice! :) Sharyn
Comment from PoesyPoet
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I like it. For some reason it made me think of the race relations--good and bad--that exist in this country and around the world. I guess, abstractionism in poetry means the reader gets to interpret it his/her own way. This was a really interesting piece and contest entry. Good luck. Sounds like thee winner to me. PP

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    Thx Poesy - it was certainly a strange prompt, that's for sure - but rather interesting to explore, once I got into it! :) Sharyn
Comment from PedrosA5LeggedDonkey
Excellent
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One of your pieces I jumped into and went "? hey?" Then I read your notes and went "ahh, showin' off her big brain again". Now I get it. Very cool, very smart piece about the navy hurting the whales!

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    bit of a strange prompt donks, but couldn't resist it (maybe I was bored) - I was more fascinated to see where my brain went in the writing - amazing how many connections & cross connections fire off! :)S
Comment from paul O'Brien
Excellent
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well!
A quark ( /?kwÉ?rk/ or /?kwÉ?rk/) is an elementary particle and a fundamental constituent of matter. Quarks combine to form composite particles called hadrons, the most stable of which are protons and neutrons, the components of atomic nuclei.[1] Due to a phenomenon known as color confinement, quarks are never directly observed or found in isolation; they can be found only within baryons or mesons.[2][3] For this reason, much of what is known about quarks has been drawn from observations of the hadrons themselves.

I had to look it up -- but Glynis didn't (Mon partner).

Quark adds that top shelf quality.

With references to pineapples , melting pots and drugged indiginous I could almost guess where you are -even the state-but with the introduction of the whales and the Americans I'd have to change my guess

I like the format and the fonts

ps Just entered a contest for a funny 5/7/5 and the winning entry, so far,is by some cheating donkey who is using a joke as old as I am --it leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth and a feeling that FanStar are allowing the site to be abused. I believe we should be quarking not quacking on this site and this cheat should be told to quack off
But the rules don't say you can't plagerise

Pissed off
Paul

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    aaah - knew you'd enjoy my quark - I enjoyed finding the word and using it! We have whales here dear - whale season is just about to begin - they swim down here from Alaska to hae their babies. I'll have to go read the 5/7/5 funnies! :)sharyn
reply by paul O'Brien on 12-Nov-2012
    Quark quark --love it sounds like an Eton duck.
    " quark quark Eton duck
    teachers pet companion
    quacked before eaten"

    Now there's got to be a double entendre in the last line

    This allegorical man has blown his cheating annoyance out his ear (is that how you spell it) I have written my thoughts in a little non offending 5/7/5 and moved on -- I know now how to cheat in this contest,myself.


    The sun is shining I can almost hear the whales calling -may quarks sparkle in the sands of Hawaii today
    Paul
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    I noticed - yours in 2nd place and damned good! may the quarks be with you next time round dear! :)
reply by paul O'Brien on 12-Nov-2012
    Wow! first time I looked the winner had 9 votes and I had 1-- you have re-stored my faith in humanity.
    By the way just got a 6 for that one
    Paul
Comment from mumsyone
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Interesting poem, Sharyn. God's paradise has certainly become "sticky" and needs cleaning up. Never fear. The cleaning up will be done much sooner than most realize.

Hugs,
Lois

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    Good to have some reassurance on this one Lois! :) S
Comment from Simple Reflection
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I think God always has to clean up our 'sticky mess' in one way or another. All of your words were very expressive, but I think this portion is most expressive of all, "Beach towns golden, green and shaded
glad I traded oily city smiling for
beguiling white sands,
not so, the bands of drunk and drugged beside me,
glazed black eyes crazed with crystal
meth and hazy hatred for my sweet white skin -
ideal happy racial melting pot within"
Best of luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012

    Thx so much my dear - this was such an interesting prompt! Just had to see where it took me! :) Sharyn
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
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I feel like saying Amen! Boy, it went around and around but finally abstracted itself into a wonderful whole! A great poem about paradise desired and not quite fulfilled. And, I agree with your sentiment--shame on them!! Great read!

 Comment Written 12-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
    Thx so much my dear - certainly a fascinating prompt and an interesting process to watch one's synapses go nuts! :) S
reply by MidnightWriter4U on 12-Nov-2012
    You are welcome. And, I'm afraid my synapses might go so far nuts it wouldn't make any sense. LOL! MN :)