Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "You are ... Are you?"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

97 total reviews 
Comment from Hollyhock
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh Yeah, you really have the beads Baby!
Fantastic fun and a worthy winner. Loved the descriptions in the first stanza and then the alterations/corrections in the second, dictated purely by the passage of time.
Delightful to see that the essential beings are still the same.
The speech patterns are exact and appropriate and add to the feeling this is all a song with the guitar strumming along in the background.
As usual this is feisty and yet chilled man! Many congratulations, you really deserve this.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    thx so much Holly - and blessings for enjoying enough to award one of your magic '6's!!! such a sweet review, too - I wasn't too sure how this one would go over!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from mauial
Excellent
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You did a nice job with nostalgia and the reality of the present in this piece. I was a child of the times myself and can totally relate. There's a little town down the road that was known as a hippie hangout in the late 60's and 70's and now all them hippies have grownn up into business minded people. How things change.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    Makawao and Paia - though Paia is still a little old hippie town Al! thx for reading, enjoying & reviewing dear! And yes, hippies do eventually grow up and many have turned into good-minded biz people. Maui's lucky as it attracts so many people who really do still believe in a lot of those old, but rather beautiful, principals! :) Sharyn
reply by mauial on 20-Aug-2012
    Lived in Paia in 1973-74 and hung out at Charlie's which was a hole in the wall bar back then :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I loved everything about this poem of yours, it's just great! Naked beaches? They would be cleared in an instant if I did that!! But isn't it nice to think we could. Memories, where would we be without them. We did have fun back then, more than they have today. You are a worthy winner, it was an amazing ride! Xx

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    hey Sandy - there's one nude beach in Maui and all shapes & sizes frequent it - though it does take a little courage to bare all as one gets older! thx so much for enjoying & coming along on the ride! :) Sharyn
Comment from Crystal Carey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great job, I enjoyed reading this poem. I can tell by your pic you were a flower child. Although I am not sure I think all the nude stuff was a guys way of getting all the girls naked, but love to me is still free, just really hard to find!

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    Bless you Crystal - thanks so much for the magic '6' - glad my stars were aligned correctly this time around! (And girls might have liked the guys without clothes too - equality, remember? he he he)
    :)Sharyn
Comment from snemes
Excellent
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I enjoyed your very cool poem. You've got all the fun images of the carefree spirit of youth. Then there is the wiser lament of maturity. Yet the saucy spark at the core still remains. It's nice that the years can't crush all of our enthusiasm. There is still lots of life to be lived. Right on!

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    thx so much my dear - and yes, that spark is still there, thank goodness! :) Sharyn
Comment from cvcopac
Excellent
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You're talking' about my generation--Woodstock, Joplin, Hendricks and Dylan--Viet, Kent state and Berkeley. Though I never became a Hippie, I did do a lot of wandering and exploration. I like the format, intermittent staccato rhythm with intermittent rhyme and random but vibrant imagery and thought patterns. Lots of energy here, becomes at the end a tribute of sorts--a cheer, and I believe we deserve at lest that much. Salute.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    oh yeah ... all the FS flower children are coming out of the closet for this one my dear! and yes, we DO deserve a tribute - we were (and are) a brave generation!
    :) Sharyn
Comment from Ekim777
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Your poem is all very cute but it leaves me bemused. We need to know which era you were rebelling against and let us remember that social remember did not begin in the sixties. Indeed it began as a reaction to the post World War II times. So we sift through your charming words for clues.You drop the names 'hipsters'. This leads us way back to the angel-headed hipsters of the beat generation. You mention the Beatles but that doesn't tell us much. If music reflected the age, the Beatles only reveal a bid for a reaction against respectability and a background to the Angry Young man of Kingsly Amis and John Osborne when everyone wondered what they were angry about. Nothing signaled resentment of the Korean War though the casualty rate was a lot fiercer than that of Viet Nam.Everyon hated Viet Nam, even those not involved but I reviewed a post only yesterday by a Nam vet who claims he matured through five years of that era.Most of the words you spin out in the poem can as much reflect the instinctive rebellion of today as of any other time. The fantasy of the freedom of sex which really was ushered in by Freud and his psycho analytical school, was roundly nipped in the bud by the looming, out of control, Aids epidemic. Free sex became really sleazy. In America more people died than the couch of hedonistic indulgence than on the battle field. How then are we to gauge an era but through its music. The only reliable reflector is through the frenetic development of American Jazz, the most sophisticated of all American music.
The trouble is, it is very much the domain of the Afro American and they stretch centuries back in time. Who would deny that they are a fringe group. I love Jazz even though it blossoms through psychopathic roots. So with all due respect, your poem leaves me bemused. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    thx Ekim - though I didn't talk about hipsters anywhere dear!
reply by Ekim777 on 20-Aug-2012
    I stand corrected. I enjoyed your poem
Comment from Chris Tee
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh yeah!Oh yeah! Baby this rocks big time baby Wow! this is an absolutely gorgeous piece of art and reminds me of my youth. It is a worthy winner as well. Congratulations with this exemplary piece of poetry and peace to you Sharyn.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    hey Chris, that's so sweet of you to give me one of your magic '6's! And peace back to you too - sounds like you have it, but you can never have too much!
    Blessings, :) Sharyn
Comment from Meta~Mark
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So you are,this flower child this everlasting colorful hippie in spirit and mind looking at life as carefree as the happy go lucky days of the past I wish I could bottle that up, bravo

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    Thx MM! Should store some for a rainy day,hmm? :)S
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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As I was reading, I was thinking, 'pity the poor fools who have to face this one in the contest' and then I got to the end and saw that sure enough, you had won. Well-deserved. Great job!

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 20-Aug-2012
    thx so much Robyn - actually the poem was a "mistake" - I wrote one for the prompt a couple of hours before deadline, then realized it was meant to be funny! So I scrapped that one and whipped this one up in an embarrassingly short period of time, then worked on editing on it a little more! But as I was doing it, I started to laugh ... so that was a good sign! I guess winning the contest was also an unexpected bonus!
    :)Sharyn