A Book of ... Free Verse (Vol.1)
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "My Breakfast ..."Metre ... Freeverse
73 total reviews
Comment from gypsynet
sizzling treat with light-hearted imagery.. you want the second serving sunny side up, boiled,fried?? i had fun , thanks fir sharing! :)
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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sizzling treat with light-hearted imagery.. you want the second serving sunny side up, boiled,fried?? i had fun , thanks fir sharing! :)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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many thanks...
Comment from Frankeddy
Read your free verse poem and feel like you were checking out free verse.
not a bad idea anything will be accepted. I am curious about it myself.
Sounds like a good breakfast to me and I'm getting hungary.
If you wrote it you are making a proud statement and I admire that.
Good work. Frankeddy
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Read your free verse poem and feel like you were checking out free verse.
not a bad idea anything will be accepted. I am curious about it myself.
Sounds like a good breakfast to me and I'm getting hungary.
If you wrote it you are making a proud statement and I admire that.
Good work. Frankeddy
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Thanks, I think...proud statement...is that humour just curious.
Comment from livelylinda
Hello Bicpen,
Well, with free verse poetry, you don't have to use meter, it does not have to rhyme and it has no particular format. There really is no structure. However, it still needs to be a poem, have some meaning and/or feeling to it. It is not just throwing together a few random words and calling it a poem. As a reader of poetry, I like to sit back comfortably, and read words of beauty or with special meaning and depth. I read this poem of yours several times and find that it doesn't sound like a poem at all, more like a random couple of phrases you jotted down while eating breakfast one morning. I don't particularly care what you eat for breakfast and probably only your doctor really does, so what is the point? What message were you attempting to send out to the world? It is an empty, non-emotional couple of statement about your eating habits, but far from being a poem.
I respectfully and without malice submit this review to you. It is my honest opinion and thoughts on this writing.
livelylinda
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Hello Bicpen,
Well, with free verse poetry, you don't have to use meter, it does not have to rhyme and it has no particular format. There really is no structure. However, it still needs to be a poem, have some meaning and/or feeling to it. It is not just throwing together a few random words and calling it a poem. As a reader of poetry, I like to sit back comfortably, and read words of beauty or with special meaning and depth. I read this poem of yours several times and find that it doesn't sound like a poem at all, more like a random couple of phrases you jotted down while eating breakfast one morning. I don't particularly care what you eat for breakfast and probably only your doctor really does, so what is the point? What message were you attempting to send out to the world? It is an empty, non-emotional couple of statement about your eating habits, but far from being a poem.
I respectfully and without malice submit this review to you. It is my honest opinion and thoughts on this writing.
livelylinda
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Thanks for the honesty Linda but the fact of the matter is that if you knew the first thing about free verse...or form...you might be able to appreciate for what it actualy is...and by the way it`s just past midnight over here...thanks,
Bicpen.
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Hi Bic,
It's me again. I did some research on-line and checked several different sites for the meaning of "free verse" poetry. Since we differed so much on this subject, I wanted to be sure that I knew of what I was speaking. It seems that I was speaking from knowledge already acquired but have added a little more. And, I thank you for being influential in me taking the step to learn something more. What I learned this morning was that free verse has no meter, rhyme or defined format. But, the main object, is to use colorful words, punctuation and word placement to convey meaning. They are written to make you think and enjoy. So, my original review and rating stands. You have not written a poem which makes me need to think and knowing what you eat for breakfast is not joyful to me. There may be little structure to these poems, but it still is a poem. The words "free verse", seem to indicate that any nonscense is allowed, however, that is not so, although some writers play it that way. Since we don't agree on this issue, Bic, may we part friendly and simply agree to disagree. livelylinda
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no worries...
Comment from Bellydanser
Quite the minimalist prose poetry, Bicpen. It has good flow and the line breaks actually give this straight talk an edge. How poetic is it? Some will love it, others may sneer. I think...I like eggs, too. ;)
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Quite the minimalist prose poetry, Bicpen. It has good flow and the line breaks actually give this straight talk an edge. How poetic is it? Some will love it, others may sneer. I think...I like eggs, too. ;)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Well it is sort of funny and if any one actually knows what there looking for in free form and also notice the subtle humour the`ll probably love for what it actually is...
Many thanks,
Bicpen.
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I think that as a first attempt this is great. I think if this was a second or third attempt, it would still be great. The fact that this was your first one is even better! If any of that makes sense, bear with me I had a long day at work and am mentally exhausted, but I did find your poem of free verse to be intriguing and enjoyable to read!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I think that as a first attempt this is great. I think if this was a second or third attempt, it would still be great. The fact that this was your first one is even better! If any of that makes sense, bear with me I had a long day at work and am mentally exhausted, but I did find your poem of free verse to be intriguing and enjoyable to read!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Quality review...at least you know what your talking about...much appreciated.
Bic.
Comment from rchitwood
I enjoy reading your poem it reminds me of my Dad he always had to have one more egg.Your poem has good description
in just a few lines.Your photo compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I enjoy reading your poem it reminds me of my Dad he always had to have one more egg.Your poem has good description
in just a few lines.Your photo compliments your poem well.Blessings Rita
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Thank you Rita...?
Comment from allborn66
This is a cute poem. I like the tone that it has. It has a nice flow to it. I like the color scheme and the picture. Barbara
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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This is a cute poem. I like the tone that it has. It has a nice flow to it. I like the color scheme and the picture. Barbara
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Thank you Barbra I was originally going to emphasise and enhance my poem with a picture of Humpty Dumpty but I could not find one....
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I usually to lazy to make eggs in the morning even though I know they aren't that hard to make. Great job at writing this free verse
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I usually to lazy to make eggs in the morning even though I know they aren't that hard to make. Great job at writing this free verse
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Excellent my friend, enjoy your breakfast...
Comment from hdnelson13
This poem reminds me of William Carlos Williams' "This is Just To Say". Both pieces are simple and about seemingly simple mundane topics. But, juicy plums (Williams) and another egg (you) are what makes life bearable and enjoyable.
So, nice work on your first effort! I also enjoyed the clever structure.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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This poem reminds me of William Carlos Williams' "This is Just To Say". Both pieces are simple and about seemingly simple mundane topics. But, juicy plums (Williams) and another egg (you) are what makes life bearable and enjoyable.
So, nice work on your first effort! I also enjoyed the clever structure.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Excellent, you have made my free verse virginity overwhelmed...
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Oh. Sorry about that!
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I think...thats meant to be a good thing...
Comment from cercie
I enjoyed this piece and it made me laugh I was not expecting that ending . Great subject . Thank you for sharing
cercie/chris
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I enjoyed this piece and it made me laugh I was not expecting that ending . Great subject . Thank you for sharing
cercie/chris
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Thank you, much...
