Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chapter 3 Part three"
Can love survive small town gossip?

87 total reviews 
Comment from dmjones
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this chapter. Roy's such a jerk and a picture to represent Joe and Roy. I'm kinda wondering if he might be the father. He seems to think he's entitled to something. Good job in bringing out the full story of Sara's rape. It definitely seems more in character with her than her just deciding to sleep with someone.

Joe had watched the medium-built man size him up, (I would delete had to make it a more immediate action - your choice though:)

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    I wondered about that 'had' myself. I have deleted. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Excellent
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Hello Barbara. This was a very well written chapter. It had plenty of tension to hold my attention all the way through. Very nicely written and spag free. No passive voice in this one at all. If I had any six star ratings left, you would get one for this. Keep up the great work and I will look for your next submission. Have a great day of writing...Tim

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and continued support. I appreciate both.
Comment from Thesis
Excellent
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Barbara, you could have at least let Joe hurt the guy a little more. He deserved it...or are you waiting to let him have a go at the one who raped Sara?

God chapter. - John

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Joe gets to let a few people 'have it' in this novel. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara - You were on the top of your game on this chapter. A well told, well edited story. I don't know where you're going with this story, but I'm going to be right there with you. Warm regards, Bill

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind words and support. I appreciate both.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

I like the Colonel's way of dealing with the dirtbags at work here. Now let me guess, I would put mone on it being the Moore boy who thinks he's the gift to all women. I think he's also the sheriff, so I'm betting he'll try to pin something on Joe and then discover that he's so far out of his league he's about to sink like a stone.

Good chapter, nicely done. Here's a suggestion for the descriptions though -

"You're in the Army, so what?" said Roy, his eyes taking in the skirtless white jacket, the rows of miniatures and the eagle insignia on the eppaulettes.

If you'd like to see a picture of "Mess Undress" send me an email address through the PMs and I'll send you one of myself in the UK Mess Dress which is very similar in all Armed Forces. Mine is Fire Services, but is identical to that worn by the Royal Engineers, my Great Grandfather's Regiment.

Patrick

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    I have been wondering if I want to use the mess uniform or the dress blues. I am not sure which would be best. I do need him to remove it later and let Sara borrow it. That's why I am thinking about the dress blues, they also have the pins representing meddels on them. Withe the dress blues he'd have a shirt under, the mess just a t-shirt. I do need to be making up my mind. I am wondering if at a civilian function if he would be allowed to wear his mess uniform.
reply by Patrick G Cox on 22-Jul-2010
    Eek, no, in a Mess Undress uniform, you are weaing a shirt, waistcaot or cumberband and a black bowtie usually with trousers which are cut high at the waist and have a broad stripe running down the leg seams. You also wear patent leather pumps and the rank markings on the shoulder. In the UK Mess Dress means white bow tie, white waistcoat and a jacket with tails and white gloves. My Mess Undress is a skirtless jacket with red facings on the lapels and collar, badges of my service on the facings, my miniature medals on the left lape four inches below the shoulder line, red cumberband or a black waistcoat with silver service buttons and a dress shirt with wing collar. My trousers are black matching the jacket with a broad red stripe down the outside seam of the trousers.

    Dress Blues equivalent for me would be a single breasted "Lancer" style jacket with rather elaborate "Scale Strap" rank markings on the shoulders and the Service badges on red patches on my "Choker" collar. The jacket has a single row of eight buttons from collar to waist, is skirted and worn over a collarless white shirt with matching black trousers again decorated with a red stripe. The cuff is decorated with a thin red band which is looped to form a symbolic "flame" pattern and this is worn with a black leather belt over the jacket. Medals, full size, are worn on the left breast four inches below the shoulder line, any "Orders" of Chivary worn on the left roughly where there would be a pocket on a normal jacket. This outfit is rarely worn these days, I last wore it about 25 years ago at a funeral for an honour guard which I commanded.

    Mess uniforms are generally worn at any "Black Tie" function for which it would be appropriate - such as where there are other military guests or other services present in uniform. It would usually state this on the invitation in the UK, the phraseology being something alog the lines of - "Dress: Gentlemen, Formal; Black Tie; Military Mess Undress or National Dress if appropriate." Any function to which the ladies are expected to wear a "gown" or Evening Dress would be a Dinner Jacket and Black Tie affair for men. Howeer, I suspect the US probably, outside of the New England"Old Money" belt, probably has its own rules...

    Hope that helps,

    Patrick
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    I copied your reply and will discuss it with my husband. During our military ball going to days he always wore his dress blues. I have access to a military officer guide book, I better check it out and make sure I am not messing up.
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara,

What woman wouldn't feel safe in Joe's arms..he says and does all the right things just when Sara needs it most. Great job!

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you so much for your review. I appreciate it. I wish there were more Joe's in the world.
Comment from Music Bob
Excellent
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Hi Sorry for the delay. I was in hospital for a few days and have just read your posting.

It is a good chapter, narrative flows easily and is very realistic. A very good enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    I hope everything is going all right. Of course, being in the hospital is an indication that things aren't going all right. You are in my prayers. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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A really good chapter as she
pours her heart out to Joe -
the dialogue flowing naturally
between them.

A pleasure to review, Barbara.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I always enjoy your words of wisdom.
Comment from Cheryle Rene
Excellent
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This is a nice piece of work, and the first piece of this book that I have read. The scene was written very clearly and smoothly. Even without reading the previous pieces, I was able to follow the storyline that is presented here. Nice writing...keep up the great work.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from R. K. Alan
Excellent
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Hi Barbara... you always tell a great story. The dialogue flows so naturally, never forced. I wish I could master that art. Dying to find out who the jerk might be. Guess I need to stay tuned for more. Very touching and quite romantic.

Thanks for sharing this with all of us.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.