Comment from Odori

Excellent

Awesome. This seemed effortless on your part. You've magically woven all the key words into the piece seamlessly while managing to tell a wonderful tale. KUDOS! Job extremely well done. It has angst, suspense, provocation, and (to be continued, yes?) all contained within 200 plus words. I am duly impressed. These could very well be the start of a very good work. I'd read more.

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 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

odori

Thank you for the awesome review. Sometimes a story is just waiting there to happen..that's what this was. I started writing and it was there. Thanks again for the great review. Carol

Comment from lucia

Excellent

I loved this story. So real, and so heartwaming! I always find it amazing the way writers manage to create their stories when given certain words to use. I too enjoy writing poetry this way.

Your story was so good, that it made me wonder if there was any truth in it? Good luck in the contest. Lucia

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 Comment Written 30-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2009

Lucia

Thank you for the kind review. Actually, Elvis's song In The Ghetto came to mind and the story grew from there. I am pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks again Carol