CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 149 "New Steps"A collection of poetry
105 total reviews
Comment from guerillapoet
I liked the wordplay that you used. "Willingly...set free" worked well together. Most of the rhyme worked, also. I felt the flow was a bit confused, though. For instance:
"Upon conceding...no digress"
Overall, though, it was a nice poem and a pleasure to read.
GP
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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I liked the wordplay that you used. "Willingly...set free" worked well together. Most of the rhyme worked, also. I felt the flow was a bit confused, though. For instance:
"Upon conceding...no digress"
Overall, though, it was a nice poem and a pleasure to read.
GP
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Hello again, guerilla.....Thank you for your most generous review and very specific comments. So much appreciated! My regards, Sue
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hello 6teezkid,
I certainly do enjoy your expressive poetry. This one is great. I like this part: 'only a voice that says yes lost until found'. Lots of truth in that one. Thanks for sharing.
Whizpurr ^-^
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Hello 6teezkid,
I certainly do enjoy your expressive poetry. This one is great. I like this part: 'only a voice that says yes lost until found'. Lots of truth in that one. Thanks for sharing.
Whizpurr ^-^
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Whizpurr, thank you so much for highlighting those words which you like! I certainly appreciate your most generous review and specific comments. With regards, Sue
Comment from chaswriter
6teezkid - Interesting poem. Not sure if I understood all the metaphors, but maybe that's my new path. My only comment: Try to avoid using ellipes in a poem. It seems to mess up the pace of the read. Also, an ellipsis is a space on each side of three dots: " ... "
Charlie.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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6teezkid - Interesting poem. Not sure if I understood all the metaphors, but maybe that's my new path. My only comment: Try to avoid using ellipes in a poem. It seems to mess up the pace of the read. Also, an ellipsis is a space on each side of three dots: " ... "
Charlie.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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I'm learning SO much on this site and that is because of all those who care (like you)!! I will re-read my poem and have another look to see what can be done if I feel (see) it as you do. My learning curve here is soaring! Thank you also for your most generous review and very specific comments. My regards, Sue
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a good piece
of freeverse, with a
smooth flow to the words,
mixed with a little rhyme.
A pleasure to review.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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This is a good piece
of freeverse, with a
smooth flow to the words,
mixed with a little rhyme.
A pleasure to review.
Margaret.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Margaret, thank you for your specific comments and your most generous review. I am very happy that you like it! So much appreciated. With regards, Sue
Comment from raw form
A lesson is repeated until it's learned. We all go through this, free will can be something else. I always listen to my gut thats how my angel speaks to me. Thats what I felt reading this, it's so weird how very few words can ellicit such strong emotions. Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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A lesson is repeated until it's learned. We all go through this, free will can be something else. I always listen to my gut thats how my angel speaks to me. Thats what I felt reading this, it's so weird how very few words can ellicit such strong emotions. Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Thank you so much for your very generous review and specific comments. And for your sharing your feelings. Yes, sometimes we need only a few words to say so much. I am new at this and am learning a lot. And thanks to those like you, it is helping immensely!! With regards, Sue
Comment from malachi1206
this was a very short almost classically rhymed poem simple to read without being simplistic nothing I would change malachi1206
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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this was a very short almost classically rhymed poem simple to read without being simplistic nothing I would change malachi1206
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Malachi, thank you so much for your generous review and specific comments. I appreciate your taking the time to read and critique. With regards, Sue
Comment from EKPoet
There is a lot of melody and rhythm in this poem, a great sense of breaking new ground, breaking free from the set path and into a hallowed space, a new path, the excitement of living moment to moment. a simple, clear, yet firm voice permeates throughout this poem. a bright, upbeat, emotional voice .EKPoet
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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There is a lot of melody and rhythm in this poem, a great sense of breaking new ground, breaking free from the set path and into a hallowed space, a new path, the excitement of living moment to moment. a simple, clear, yet firm voice permeates throughout this poem. a bright, upbeat, emotional voice .EKPoet
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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EK, I really appreciate your most generous review and all your specific, helpful comments. As I am new at writing, all your words inspire and encourage me to continue on and to push further. I am very happy you like it. Thank you for taking the time to review! Most sincerely, Sue
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Dear Sue, well, welcome to fanstory, and i think you will find it challenging, as well as inspiring. are you going to do mostly poetry, or stories also? EKPoet
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Well, if there is anything I have most certainly learned about life, it is, NEVER SAY NEVER! Ha! It took me decades to work that one out, but I finally did. Ha!
I only just recently began painting and now writing some poems. If anyone would have told me even just a few years ago that I would be doing that, I would have thought them crazy! So, one day, I may tackle a short story. I am a major fan of the American Short Story! Just a glimpse into a moment of someone's life can be written about. A moment is all that is needed to write about. One day, I may be able to do just that.
I have only been on this site for a few days and haven't been around it much yet. Do you write shorts?
Sue
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You can check out my short stories in my portfolio . one book is Dark, it is experimental flash fiction, very bare, very stark, a bit surreal. a look at suburban life. the other is another book on suburban life, a bit more expanded style, called A Roadmap Through Paradise. they wont take you long to read, but I must warn you, I write about some controversial themes, and I take my characters out to the edge. I beleive that sociopaths are an extreme form of things we all have within us, so to write about them is to open a window into the soul of the whole country. EK
Comment from Josipher32
This was a wonderfully written free verse format poem.
I liked the positive, uplifting message you represented here.
Sincerely, Kristen
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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This was a wonderfully written free verse format poem.
I liked the positive, uplifting message you represented here.
Sincerely, Kristen
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Kristen, thank you so much for your very generous review and comments. Most sincerely, Sue
Comment from geetika sethi
wow..this is so very different and interesting.
it flows from well from start to finish and talks
alot.displays right form birth to death..a whole life..
thanks forsharing a great piece of art.
good luck always...
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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wow..this is so very different and interesting.
it flows from well from start to finish and talks
alot.displays right form birth to death..a whole life..
thanks forsharing a great piece of art.
good luck always...
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Gaps... again you've given me so much inspiration to continue writing, as I am new at this. Your words of encouragement mean SO much! I am humbled by your comments. Most sincerely yours, Sue
Comment from jack silver
a perfectly written poem which advocates a new step in life... very well described. i didn't see anything you needed to work on and i look forward to reading more.
from
jack
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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a perfectly written poem which advocates a new step in life... very well described. i didn't see anything you needed to work on and i look forward to reading more.
from
jack
Comment Written 18-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008
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Jack, thank you so much for taking the time to review and look for any needed work. I am humbled by your comments. Most sincerely, Sue