When Angels Cry
An old Friend That Needs Everyone's Prayers84 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi Diana. This is such a beautiful message that yuo have written which gives hope to all of us in need of kind words , love and encouragement. Thanks for posting this dear frriend
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Hi Diana. This is such a beautiful message that yuo have written which gives hope to all of us in need of kind words , love and encouragement. Thanks for posting this dear frriend
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from ledford
This is a sweet prayer for someone who sounds like is very important to you.
I have some suggestions...
"Lost is only half the coin...found is the other." Should be a space on either side of the ellipse. (When three dots are used, space occurs both before the first dot and after the final dot--pg. 469 in The Chicago Manual of Style)
"things (even though buried,)" comma should be outside the parenthesis (page 255 in The Chicago Manual of Style).
"love you {;} safe and sound on welcoming, hallowed ground." I recommend an em dash here {--} since a semi-colon is used to combine two complete sentances.
"So my joyless friend" comma needed here
"You must believe in yourself ...as" space needed after the ellipse. Same with the last sentance.
May God bless your friend:-)
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
This is a sweet prayer for someone who sounds like is very important to you.
I have some suggestions...
"Lost is only half the coin...found is the other." Should be a space on either side of the ellipse. (When three dots are used, space occurs both before the first dot and after the final dot--pg. 469 in The Chicago Manual of Style)
"things (even though buried,)" comma should be outside the parenthesis (page 255 in The Chicago Manual of Style).
"love you {;} safe and sound on welcoming, hallowed ground." I recommend an em dash here {--} since a semi-colon is used to combine two complete sentances.
"So my joyless friend" comma needed here
"You must believe in yourself ...as" space needed after the ellipse. Same with the last sentance.
May God bless your friend:-)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from bookishfabler
Sounds like someone special has lost their way. Though not your typical work, it is still very heartfelt and powerful. You truly have a way with words. Thanks for sharing. I hope your friend finds his or her way.
hugs
book
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Sounds like someone special has lost their way. Though not your typical work, it is still very heartfelt and powerful. You truly have a way with words. Thanks for sharing. I hope your friend finds his or her way.
hugs
book
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from chasedaway
Very good. This almost reads as a poem--and there is nothing wrong with that. It has a verse-like quality to it.
I had one point, a silly comma deal, no biggie:
Please hear me when I tell you even though you're feeling lost and [alone;]
--make this a comma
Really, well done.
Chase
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Very good. This almost reads as a poem--and there is nothing wrong with that. It has a verse-like quality to it.
I had one point, a silly comma deal, no biggie:
Please hear me when I tell you even though you're feeling lost and [alone;]
--make this a comma
Really, well done.
Chase
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from Mike K2
I felt that this is a beautifully writen appeal, melded with true sentiment and love. I much enjoyed this and can sense a bit of myself in it. When something appeals to one's consciousness, it is very well done. The illustration is very nice too.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I felt that this is a beautifully writen appeal, melded with true sentiment and love. I much enjoyed this and can sense a bit of myself in it. When something appeals to one's consciousness, it is very well done. The illustration is very nice too.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from Penpal
This piece cries to the heart of the reader. I've been in that state of desparation you write of. Your wisdom shines through in this piece and offers comfort and guidance that a true friend can bring about. Well written, and great advice shimmers throughout. I hope your friend does get back on track, and the love shown within here is a great step in the right direction.
Sallysaucer
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
This piece cries to the heart of the reader. I've been in that state of desparation you write of. Your wisdom shines through in this piece and offers comfort and guidance that a true friend can bring about. Well written, and great advice shimmers throughout. I hope your friend does get back on track, and the love shown within here is a great step in the right direction.
Sallysaucer
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from neiva
hi artsylum, I could really feel the longing written in this poem. it also has a sad feeling. Making it an excellent write. no changes needed. great job,
neiva
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
hi artsylum, I could really feel the longing written in this poem. it also has a sad feeling. Making it an excellent write. no changes needed. great job,
neiva
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from LillySmith
What a touching and heartfelt piece.
Your thoughts are expressed, and written, well.
I sure hope it does what it's supposed to.
Love and hope were felt throughout.
Lil. ;-)
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What a touching and heartfelt piece.
Your thoughts are expressed, and written, well.
I sure hope it does what it's supposed to.
Love and hope were felt throughout.
Lil. ;-)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from babylonia
what a very beautiful sentiment. easy to read and follow. no spag do i see. imagery is excellent. the peaceful feeling of home is always nice. keep up the good work.
the picture is good too.
barbara
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
what a very beautiful sentiment. easy to read and follow. no spag do i see. imagery is excellent. the peaceful feeling of home is always nice. keep up the good work.
the picture is good too.
barbara
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Artasylym, this is so beautifully written. I wish I still had a 6 to distribute, but, alas, I don't. While crying can be very cleansing for the soul, it gives one pause when the angels cry. I pray all works out for your friend. I will pray for both of you.
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Artasylym, this is so beautifully written. I wish I still had a 6 to distribute, but, alas, I don't. While crying can be very cleansing for the soul, it gives one pause when the angels cry. I pray all works out for your friend. I will pray for both of you.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008