Addiction's whore
A poem of hope53 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
My two cents:
1) I would omit the parenthesis; I think the words inside them work better without parenthesis. I hear the words spoken a certain way in my head and the parenthesis imply a change in that tone, a breaking of the narrative wall.
2) Structurally, cohesively, this works better with just the first four stanzas.
But your story is compelling and interesting too. Your word play and use of vocabulary is excellent. Content wise this is a six.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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My two cents:
1) I would omit the parenthesis; I think the words inside them work better without parenthesis. I hear the words spoken a certain way in my head and the parenthesis imply a change in that tone, a breaking of the narrative wall.
2) Structurally, cohesively, this works better with just the first four stanzas.
But your story is compelling and interesting too. Your word play and use of vocabulary is excellent. Content wise this is a six.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Thanks so much for these wonderful comments and a great review blessings Roy G
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Addiction's Whore", is an exceptionally well-written piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a privilege to read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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"Addiction's Whore", is an exceptionally well-written piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a privilege to read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Thanks so much duchess for these wonderful comments and a great review blessings Roy
Roy, you're more than welcome.
Bless you and take care,
the Duchess
Comment from Mama Baer
Dear Roy, happy birthday first of all! I read somewhere it was your birthday today, wink wink. (We share a birthday month! Mine is next week!) Second of all, your poetry is stunning and your story, miraculous. Thank you for sharing your journey in your notes! You are truly inspiring!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Dear Roy, happy birthday first of all! I read somewhere it was your birthday today, wink wink. (We share a birthday month! Mine is next week!) Second of all, your poetry is stunning and your story, miraculous. Thank you for sharing your journey in your notes! You are truly inspiring!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
-
Thanks so much for these wonderful comments and a great review blessings Roy