The Orange
A Fictional tale by Eric C Goose63 total reviews
Comment from Gregory Lambert
Well done! I like your poem very much. Writing your poem as a series of rhyming couplets works great, since many of them use the first line for the setup and the second for the punch line. This construct also makes the poem flow quickly and easily from one message to the next. But my favorite thing about your poem is the multilayered meanings that you use so effectively. I read your poem three times to make sure I caught them all. Six stars all day!
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Well done! I like your poem very much. Writing your poem as a series of rhyming couplets works great, since many of them use the first line for the setup and the second for the punch line. This construct also makes the poem flow quickly and easily from one message to the next. But my favorite thing about your poem is the multilayered meanings that you use so effectively. I read your poem three times to make sure I caught them all. Six stars all day!
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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I can tell you?re a six ⭐️ without looking? 🙂
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Not sure I follow you there. You think I didn't read it?
Comment from Boogienights
An interesting take on our former president. A nice rhyme scheme that keeps it rolling along and the use of fruit is very clever. I can't say I agree with your viewpoint but I enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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An interesting take on our former president. A nice rhyme scheme that keeps it rolling along and the use of fruit is very clever. I can't say I agree with your viewpoint but I enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Thanks for your review? it?s a fictional story not based on real events.
Comment from Begin Again
You've talked oranges and apples and handed us a bowl full of cherries in a fantasy world of fruit. I can't talk technicalities because I am definitely not a poet, but I can say you have added a bit of humor to my day and I appreciate that. Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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You've talked oranges and apples and handed us a bowl full of cherries in a fantasy world of fruit. I can't talk technicalities because I am definitely not a poet, but I can say you have added a bit of humor to my day and I appreciate that. Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Thanks carol 😀
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Love it - you got me...written well and funny as hell...but the Trump fruit was easy to tell...please write more and as funny as this!!! Meant to be funny, but the rhyme is divine and the rhythm rocks, knocked me right outta my socks.
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Love it - you got me...written well and funny as hell...but the Trump fruit was easy to tell...please write more and as funny as this!!! Meant to be funny, but the rhyme is divine and the rhythm rocks, knocked me right outta my socks.
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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😂
Comment from Senyai
Hi Eric,
I enjoyed this little ballad of Don the Evil Orange and Righteous John the good apple :-) Very entertaining with a message of inclusion that if not heeded can lead to isolation and loneliness.
Very well crafted and enjoyable piece with a timely sentiment conveyed quite well wrapped in ballad style that even children can grasp.
( but letâ??s be honest â?¦ this is clearly about Donald Trump, (Don) Puti (Putin) and the Corona Virus. Orange skin etc â?¦ )
All the best,
Senyai
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Hi Eric,
I enjoyed this little ballad of Don the Evil Orange and Righteous John the good apple :-) Very entertaining with a message of inclusion that if not heeded can lead to isolation and loneliness.
Very well crafted and enjoyable piece with a timely sentiment conveyed quite well wrapped in ballad style that even children can grasp.
( but letâ??s be honest â?¦ this is clearly about Donald Trump, (Don) Puti (Putin) and the Corona Virus. Orange skin etc â?¦ )
All the best,
Senyai
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Jolly good 😊
Comment from Cedar
Hello Eric,
I'll say one thing, this is a very interesting fictional piece of writing about fruit. Have you ever considered writing children's poetry or storybooks for young children? They love this type of writing.
I did get a few chuckles from reading your work and that's always a good thing.
Keep writing Eric. I wish you a happy holiday weekend...Bill
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Hello Eric,
I'll say one thing, this is a very interesting fictional piece of writing about fruit. Have you ever considered writing children's poetry or storybooks for young children? They love this type of writing.
I did get a few chuckles from reading your work and that's always a good thing.
Keep writing Eric. I wish you a happy holiday weekend...Bill
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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I guess I could take a good from a writer of your stature without question I would like a little feedback maybe but that?s OK thanks for your review
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Hello Eric,
In my opinion, I think a writer should write whatever is in their heart. Write about what makes you happy, regardless about what other writers think. Your rhyming technique is great. Please, write about what makes you feel good and don't be concerned about the reviews. I've been here thirteen years and I've gotten every kind of review you could imagine. Have fun and enjoy yourself and please don't let anyone pull you down, this is only a writing site, nothing more and nothing less. Have a great weekend, my friend...Bill
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I?m not taking it like you think? I?m just always looking for constructive criticism? I surely don?t care what most trolls think I?m aware of my abilities but always looking to improve
Comment from dragonpoet
This long optic story shows how despotic rule and discrimination ruin lives and that it Lea so you all alone
It should be all fruits are neede an treed as such.
It should be walking about not a bout
Keep writing and stay healthy
dp
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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This long optic story shows how despotic rule and discrimination ruin lives and that it Lea so you all alone
It should be all fruits are neede an treed as such.
It should be walking about not a bout
Keep writing and stay healthy
dp
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Jolly good 😊
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You're most kindly welcome.
dp
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
The Orange
by EricDaGoose
LoL I love your poem, it may not be about Trump but it reminded me of him. You have a great sense of humor and imagination. Well done my friend.
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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The Orange
by EricDaGoose
LoL I love your poem, it may not be about Trump but it reminded me of him. You have a great sense of humor and imagination. Well done my friend.
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Thanks gypsy I can always count on you to pick me up?
Comment from nomi338
Moral tales are almost always instructive. Pity those critics Who ignore the message because they are distracted by the fact that the form is not perfect. Excuse me, but we ourselves are not perfect. I enjoyed your story. No judgement here. Not from me at least.
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Moral tales are almost always instructive. Pity those critics Who ignore the message because they are distracted by the fact that the form is not perfect. Excuse me, but we ourselves are not perfect. I enjoyed your story. No judgement here. Not from me at least.
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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The person give me a one star because he took offense? He thought I was talking about someone she liked very much for some reason not because of my form? If you think my form is not perfect please let me know how to improve
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You had some mistakes that a serious edit would probably fix. Listen, I make my own share of mistakes as do most of us. If I cannot say something that helps, I keep my thoughts to myself. I am always more interested in content than I am with form.
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OK but you?re not making sense to me for some reason? You?re not saying anything helpful? Would you point out these mistakes to me please? You seem like a nice man and I appreciate your niceness? Please point out mistakes? Please
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OK but you?re not making sense to me for some reason? You?re not saying anything helpful? Would you point out these mistakes to me please? You seem like a nice man and I appreciate your niceness? Please point out mistakes? Please
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I must apologize, For I misread a line that appeared to be a mistake. Upon re-reading the line I see that you repeated yourself for dramatic effect. I am sorry. I will be careful to read more deliberately in the future.
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I was looking for constructive criticism never any offense taken thank you for your time and consideration and your review
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I was looking for constructive criticism never any offense taken thank you for your time and consideration and your review
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Wickedly clever tale about literal fruit, of course, as you say, I can't imagine otherwise -- Alas, there are always some so stubbornly metaphorically minded who would construe this as satire about the Evil King Blond Don as referring to a real person, though I am stumped as to who it could possibly be. Brilliant piece!
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Wickedly clever tale about literal fruit, of course, as you say, I can't imagine otherwise -- Alas, there are always some so stubbornly metaphorically minded who would construe this as satire about the Evil King Blond Don as referring to a real person, though I am stumped as to who it could possibly be. Brilliant piece!
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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That?s an excellent review