God Omnipotent Deeds
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "God Make Me A Dumb Man"God Omnipotent Omniscient Omnipresent Does Deeds
45 total reviews
Comment from mvbrooks
Interesting format of beseeching a deity to help you and in doing so, using the narrators own words to gain personal insight.
Note -- just a thought but the mix if texting language became distracting and seemed to devalue the message as this was clearly not a text. In reading texts our thoughts are focused on decoding the abbreviated text. In this case the momentary interruption of OMG distracting from focusing on the ,message. Kind of like when you talk and someone keeps tapping on your arm--then it becomes frustrating to complete your thoughts.
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Interesting format of beseeching a deity to help you and in doing so, using the narrators own words to gain personal insight.
Note -- just a thought but the mix if texting language became distracting and seemed to devalue the message as this was clearly not a text. In reading texts our thoughts are focused on decoding the abbreviated text. In this case the momentary interruption of OMG distracting from focusing on the ,message. Kind of like when you talk and someone keeps tapping on your arm--then it becomes frustrating to complete your thoughts.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
Comment from robyn corum
ALD,
Though I appreciate your kind and tender heart. I feel that confessions are private and it's not necessary for you to share them with others.
I am puzzled as to what you could have possibly done or said that could have cause crimes and killings, though... a bit odd. Thanks!
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ALD,
Though I appreciate your kind and tender heart. I feel that confessions are private and it's not necessary for you to share them with others.
I am puzzled as to what you could have possibly done or said that could have cause crimes and killings, though... a bit odd. Thanks!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
Comment from Bill Schott
This piece, God Made Me Dumb Man, seems to contain a world's worth of confessions which I might just go ahead and toss mine onto, as long as you've got this one loaded up already. Thanks.
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This piece, God Made Me Dumb Man, seems to contain a world's worth of confessions which I might just go ahead and toss mine onto, as long as you've got this one loaded up already. Thanks.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is an involved piece of flash fiction. The repetitive OMG! sort of works :)
In places, I think the narrative meanders a bit aimlessly. For example:
You see what I do from the core of your gifted my heart and from your graciously gifted my little brain in and around back part of my head. -- I find this sentences grammatically confusing. Do you really mean to write: You see what I do from the core of your gifted heart, and from my little brain graciously gifted to me.
Thank you for a pleasant read :)
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This is an involved piece of flash fiction. The repetitive OMG! sort of works :)
In places, I think the narrative meanders a bit aimlessly. For example:
You see what I do from the core of your gifted my heart and from your graciously gifted my little brain in and around back part of my head. -- I find this sentences grammatically confusing. Do you really mean to write: You see what I do from the core of your gifted heart, and from my little brain graciously gifted to me.
Thank you for a pleasant read :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
Comment from T. B. Peterson
I think I see what you are doing here..
"OMG"...seems like how a person would pray to God if they were attached to their cell phone. Communicating with God like He is just another person. I believe that's why part of the prayer was to become dumb (or unwise)
Even if this isn't your intended message, I still found it enjoyable and meaningful.
Great work!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I think I see what you are doing here..
"OMG"...seems like how a person would pray to God if they were attached to their cell phone. Communicating with God like He is just another person. I believe that's why part of the prayer was to become dumb (or unwise)
Even if this isn't your intended message, I still found it enjoyable and meaningful.
Great work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019