Tortillas
A Ghazal55 total reviews
Comment from Blue Hendrix
Great job! Interesting format. I found it humorously entertaining and it flowed nicely. The format appeared to be as it should and I found no errors. Nice entry for the contest as well
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Great job! Interesting format. I found it humorously entertaining and it flowed nicely. The format appeared to be as it should and I found no errors. Nice entry for the contest as well
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Blue Hendrix, for your review and for wishing me well in the contest. I wrote a fun, silly, but true to form Ghazal to demystify and make it approachable for novices.
Comment from Ogden
I never read a Gazal before, and I didn't have to, to recognize a winner (actually, two, you and the form). It looks like challenging fun, and I think I'll give it a go in the next Gazal contest.
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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I never read a Gazal before, and I didn't have to, to recognize a winner (actually, two, you and the form). It looks like challenging fun, and I think I'll give it a go in the next Gazal contest.
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, Don, there is still time for this contest. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali. You are welcome to enter this contest on FanStory. The host had posted the contest before last week, but no one signed up and it took so long to write mine, that she cancelled the contest. I told her I had my Ghazal ready and she reopened the contest.
Thank you for giving my Ghazal its first six star review. I appreciate it. Thanks also for wishing me contest success.
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You are most welcome, of course.
Thanks for urging me to participate. Given the probable difficulty of the learning curve, I'll try to get the hang if it, and jump in if the contest is still open when I come up with something. Meanwhile, all the best to you, mystery poet.
Don
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Don, here is the Ghazal of the poet who inspired me to explore the form. Her name is Barbara Crane, and when I read her "Love Refrains" was voted a semi-finalist in the Rattle Poetry Prize, I took notice because the journal seldom publishes rhymed verse. Enjoy: https://www.rattle.com/love-refrains-by-barbara-lydecker-crane/
Comment from Heather Knight
This sounds like a tough kind of poem to write. Too many rules for me, but you have done very well.
I have really enjoyed reading this, it made me smile.
Thanks so much for sharing.
P.S. In this verse:
When we want edible Frisbees,
we threw and caught the tortillas.
Shouldn't it say wanted instead of want as the second line is in the past?
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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This sounds like a tough kind of poem to write. Too many rules for me, but you have done very well.
I have really enjoyed reading this, it made me smile.
Thanks so much for sharing.
P.S. In this verse:
When we want edible Frisbees,
we threw and caught the tortillas.
Shouldn't it say wanted instead of want as the second line is in the past?
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Yes, Maria, it should say "wanted." I changed the line to "When we wanted tasty Frisbees." Thanks for the tip and the review.
Ghazals are fun to write. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali. You are welcome to enter this contest on FanStory. I chose tortillas as my subject because I wanted to be silly and for Ghazals to be aproachable so that people will not be intimidated by this form. Give it a try. Thanks again.
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Thanks for you encouragement. Take care.
Comment from Hitcher
I believe this is my first reading of a Ghazal, I'm thinking they would be very challenging to write, always having to end each couplet with the same word. I enjoyed the humor of your offering friend, good luck!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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I believe this is my first reading of a Ghazal, I'm thinking they would be very challenging to write, always having to end each couplet with the same word. I enjoyed the humor of your offering friend, good luck!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, Hitcher, Ghazals are fun to write. I deliberately chose a silly subject to make the form approachable. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia, Persia, and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali, or you can read the Ghazal that inspired me to try my hand at this form: https://www.rattle.com/love-refrains-by-barbara-lydecker-crane/
You are welcome to enter FanStory?s Ghazal contest. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck.
Comment from tfawcus
Hilarious! The Ghazal is not a particularly easy form but you have a good one here! I hear in this the playful nagging of a married couple, with enough repetition to get the point across and enough humour to prevent a breach of the peace!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Hilarious! The Ghazal is not a particularly easy form but you have a good one here! I hear in this the playful nagging of a married couple, with enough repetition to get the point across and enough humour to prevent a breach of the peace!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Tony, for your review. So many Western poets are intimidated by the Ghazal from Arabia, Persia, and India, that I deliberately wrote a silly one to make the form approachable for the novice. There is still time to join the contest. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali, or you can read the Ghazal that inspired me to try my hand at this form: https://www.rattle.com/love-refrains-by-barbara-lydecker-crane/
Thanks again.
Comment from Air Spirit
Your poem was written in an interesting style -- The "Ghazal" format, that I find very difficult, would not be an easy task.. but you did a great job.. the subject matter was funny but also interesting.. Then, on top of your excellent form, you write a poem that is really very funny... I found myself chuckling out loud.. thanks for an enjoyable read.. the last line, "...'Dre, I bought masa for our comal.
What hath God wrought? The tortillas.'
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Your poem was written in an interesting style -- The "Ghazal" format, that I find very difficult, would not be an easy task.. but you did a great job.. the subject matter was funny but also interesting.. Then, on top of your excellent form, you write a poem that is really very funny... I found myself chuckling out loud.. thanks for an enjoyable read.. the last line, "...'Dre, I bought masa for our comal.
What hath God wrought? The tortillas.'
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Air Spirit, for your heartfelt review. Reviewers have been laughing out loud. So many Western poets are intimidated by the Ghazal from Arabia, Persia, and India, that I deliberately wrote a silly one to make the form approachable for the novice. There is still time to join the contest. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali, or you can read the Ghazal that inspired me to try my hand at this form: https://www.rattle.com/love-refrains-by-barbara-lydecker-crane/
Thanks again.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Ghazal Poetry writing prompt.
Nicely done, nice flow and you followed the structure well.
The story is cute and well told as well.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the Ghazal Poetry writing prompt.
Nicely done, nice flow and you followed the structure well.
The story is cute and well told as well.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Sharon, for your review and for ishing me good luck in the competition. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali. You are welcome to enter this contest on FanStory. Thanks again.
Comment from Harry Smith
The reader found this poem to be very interesting. The poem is loaded with lots and lots of imagery. The reader enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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The reader found this poem to be very interesting. The poem is loaded with lots and lots of imagery. The reader enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Harry, for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali. You are welcome to enter this contest on FanStory. Thanks again.
Comment from Poetic Friend
This was a hoot to read. I am sucker for the tortillas as well. After reading your poem, I am craving them.
I never thought making them myself. My hats off to you for going that route.
Good luck in the contest. I never heard of that poetic form. Very creative.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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This was a hoot to read. I am sucker for the tortillas as well. After reading your poem, I am craving them.
I never thought making them myself. My hats off to you for going that route.
Good luck in the contest. I never heard of that poetic form. Very creative.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Oh, thank you, Poeitc Friend, for your delicious review. Yes, this poem makes me hungry for homemade tortillas. I'm goign to ask my maid tomorrow. I'm glad you found this a hoot to read. Thanks for wishing me good luck in the contest.
I love this form of poetry popular in Arabia and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali. You are welcome to enter this contest on FanStory. Thanks again.
Comment from pome lover
well and cleverly done, and I learned something.
I was unfamiliar with a Ghazal and a comal, so thanks for teaching me about both.
Cute and playful poem with neat ending solving the problem.
Pome lover
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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well and cleverly done, and I learned something.
I was unfamiliar with a Ghazal and a comal, so thanks for teaching me about both.
Cute and playful poem with neat ending solving the problem.
Pome lover
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Yes, Pome lover, if you forgot to buy a package of tortillas, buy masa and a comal and make your own.
Thank you for your review. I love this form of playful, clever poetry popular in Arabia and India for centuries. To read contemporary Ghazals, I suggest "Ravishing Disunities: Real Ghazals in English," editted by Agha Shahid Ali. You are welcome to enter this contest on FanStory. Thanks again.
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thanks, and thanks for the info!
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You're welcome!