Selections For Book Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "What Crosses My Mind"possible selections for inclusion in book project
53 total reviews
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Oh, this is lovely Mikey. Touches of fantasy, longing, and sensuality combine to make for a most enjoyable read. I wish I had a six for this. I love it all, but especially "but I must have you know that it is you who bring me to such life and vitality".
Exceptionally well written with excellent poetic techniques incorporated, this poem is a reader's dream. "Notion sets in motion" and "smiles understood" ... very, very nice. ~ ~ Connie
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Oh, this is lovely Mikey. Touches of fantasy, longing, and sensuality combine to make for a most enjoyable read. I wish I had a six for this. I love it all, but especially "but I must have you know that it is you who bring me to such life and vitality".
Exceptionally well written with excellent poetic techniques incorporated, this poem is a reader's dream. "Notion sets in motion" and "smiles understood" ... very, very nice. ~ ~ Connie
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from catch22
Hi MIkey, this is a lovely free verse poem filled with rich imagery and internal sporadic rhyming to give the write good flow. My only criticism is the write feels too wordy and a little bit overstated. I get that this poem is meant to have a stream of consciousness feeling. I think it could be even better with more attention to word economy. A small nit--the font color is a little dark for me as well. Other than this, it's a lovely write and you used punctuation and formatting to good effect here in this dramatic free verse.
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Hi MIkey, this is a lovely free verse poem filled with rich imagery and internal sporadic rhyming to give the write good flow. My only criticism is the write feels too wordy and a little bit overstated. I get that this poem is meant to have a stream of consciousness feeling. I think it could be even better with more attention to word economy. A small nit--the font color is a little dark for me as well. Other than this, it's a lovely write and you used punctuation and formatting to good effect here in this dramatic free verse.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent free verse, especially the vignettes. The speaker sounds like me in short pants watching a Brigitte movie...What crosses a bug's mind when he meets the windshield? His rectum.
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Excellent free verse, especially the vignettes. The speaker sounds like me in short pants watching a Brigitte movie...What crosses a bug's mind when he meets the windshield? His rectum.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from estory
I liked this great free verse piece, chock full of sparkling images, composed in flashes and flitters of language, with nice dramatic breaks. The voice is kind of melancholy, wistful, with a touch of hope and joy in it. Nicely done. "Your words, a laureates revelation, courses like rapids through my mind" you get that sense of flowing emotion there and "A dancer, nimble and lythe, spins to a stop / In smooth decent, anticipation" I think you get a great image of seduction there, the anticipation hanging in the air "fantasies have dished the daydream's landscape" I like the music, as well as the image there, the pictures of desires dancing in the mind's eye. great job with this, very great understanding of modern free verse and the possibilities in it estory
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I liked this great free verse piece, chock full of sparkling images, composed in flashes and flitters of language, with nice dramatic breaks. The voice is kind of melancholy, wistful, with a touch of hope and joy in it. Nicely done. "Your words, a laureates revelation, courses like rapids through my mind" you get that sense of flowing emotion there and "A dancer, nimble and lythe, spins to a stop / In smooth decent, anticipation" I think you get a great image of seduction there, the anticipation hanging in the air "fantasies have dished the daydream's landscape" I like the music, as well as the image there, the pictures of desires dancing in the mind's eye. great job with this, very great understanding of modern free verse and the possibilities in it estory
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from rjuselius
Wow, this is an exquisite piece of romance poetry dear Michael! The object of your desire is what you expect not having met her. Will both experience the same?
Thanks for sharing!
Virtual sixer..
Blessings and a big squeeze!
Rebekka x
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Wow, this is an exquisite piece of romance poetry dear Michael! The object of your desire is what you expect not having met her. Will both experience the same?
Thanks for sharing!
Virtual sixer..
Blessings and a big squeeze!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from artemis53
Amazingly, I understand this poem, Michael. It speaks to me, a commoner with the grace and eloquence of only those that know what it is like to dream. I've wished upon stars hoping that someday those pleas will once be heard. I thank you for this piece.
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Amazingly, I understand this poem, Michael. It speaks to me, a commoner with the grace and eloquence of only those that know what it is like to dream. I've wished upon stars hoping that someday those pleas will once be heard. I thank you for this piece.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from Hamiel
A very nice poem. I like. Being able to wait is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say "I love you" but not everyone can wait and prove its true.
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A very nice poem. I like. Being able to wait is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say "I love you" but not everyone can wait and prove its true.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from Susanjohn
Mikey write more!!!!! I don't want this one to end..I'm so loving this delicious little free write of yours!!!..I love the sweet touch of mystery here and your perfect descriptions of what crosses your mind!...ahhh so sweet, and yet raw :-)..love love Mikey boy. Thank you.
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Mikey write more!!!!! I don't want this one to end..I'm so loving this delicious little free write of yours!!!..I love the sweet touch of mystery here and your perfect descriptions of what crosses your mind!...ahhh so sweet, and yet raw :-)..love love Mikey boy. Thank you.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from Teri7
Mike, This is a very well written free verse poem you have penned. It is amazing what goes through ones mind when just sitting around thinking. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery! Blessings, Teri
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Mike, This is a very well written free verse poem you have penned. It is amazing what goes through ones mind when just sitting around thinking. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem. Telling the reader what is crossing te mind of the author In clear words and descriptions. He does not know what crosses the mind of the reader.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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A very well-written free verse poem. Telling the reader what is crossing te mind of the author In clear words and descriptions. He does not know what crosses the mind of the reader.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017