Was I the Child You Lost?
Before my birth.68 total reviews
Comment from F. Wehr3
That's heavy, Andre. I thought you did a great job with this poem, and I commend you on being able to write about it. It begs not only a moral question, but a question of what the soul is. Great work!
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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That's heavy, Andre. I thought you did a great job with this poem, and I commend you on being able to write about it. It begs not only a moral question, but a question of what the soul is. Great work!
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Russell, for your generous, six star review of my poem on a heavy subject that poses a moral question. I appreciate your compliments.
Comment from Celtic Angel
Powerfully written and emotive. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt poem. One wonders at the mysteries of life, death, and rebirth, and these words beautifully capture what you and your family members must have felt and contemplated following the stillbirth of your older sibling. Well told!
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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Powerfully written and emotive. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt poem. One wonders at the mysteries of life, death, and rebirth, and these words beautifully capture what you and your family members must have felt and contemplated following the stillbirth of your older sibling. Well told!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Celtic Angel, for your review of my heartfelt poem. My siblings did not know that we had lost a potential sibling through miscarriage until after my mother died and my brother found her written account of it. Mom never told us.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a subject we can only guess and speculate what happens when we miscarriage a baby and later on have a baby, could it be the same soul that be born normally the second time.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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A very well-written poem about a subject we can only guess and speculate what happens when we miscarriage a baby and later on have a baby, could it be the same soul that be born normally the second time.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Yes, Sandra, that is the question my mother poses in her poem that inspires me to write mine. Since my sibling before me miscarried, am I the soul of that person who would have been born? Deep. Thank you for your review.
Comment from sharonlshelley
i love this feel heart felt poem and all the emotion around it its so sad but it was reached out to me perfectly thanks for sharing your lovely work, sharon
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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i love this feel heart felt poem and all the emotion around it its so sad but it was reached out to me perfectly thanks for sharing your lovely work, sharon
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Sharon, for your generous, six star review. I am glad my heartfelt poem reached out perfectly to you.
Comment from Hansel1
A sad but telling tale. I appreciate the vulnerability it takes to share such stories through transcription.
I would consider revising the diction within the opening stanza. Everything comes together concept-wise as the piece progresses, but there is some confusion right out the gate with the opening lines. You do a nice job of setting the stage for the piece in this stanza, but the verbiage just leads the reader astray slightly before circling back.
Either way, a strong read. An inherently smooth meter makes the lines fluid, backed up by a profound concept - Cheers!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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A sad but telling tale. I appreciate the vulnerability it takes to share such stories through transcription.
I would consider revising the diction within the opening stanza. Everything comes together concept-wise as the piece progresses, but there is some confusion right out the gate with the opening lines. You do a nice job of setting the stage for the piece in this stanza, but the verbiage just leads the reader astray slightly before circling back.
Either way, a strong read. An inherently smooth meter makes the lines fluid, backed up by a profound concept - Cheers!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Hansel, for your review and suggestions. I will take another look at the opening stanza if other reviewers give me concrete suggestions on how to fix it. Changing the stanza order by putting the third first and the first third would do that.
I am grateful that my father document this sculpture and the poem my wrote for it which inspired me to write my own.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Andre
I thought this was such a heartfelt poem.
The music in the language was nicely stitched, I loved all the alliterations, the dense thicket of sounds carefully woven in this piece.
I think the images were excellent as well, I love the expressionist sense of hope as the poem concludes.
Mitchell
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Andre
I thought this was such a heartfelt poem.
The music in the language was nicely stitched, I loved all the alliterations, the dense thicket of sounds carefully woven in this piece.
I think the images were excellent as well, I love the expressionist sense of hope as the poem concludes.
Mitchell
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Mitchell, for your review. It took me several weeks to craft this poem. Given the amount of information I have with my parents' papers, the hardest thing for me was deciding what to leave out of the poem. I am humbled that you found my poem heartfelt and expressionistic.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Andre,
This is an amazing piece of art. Artistic talent runs in your family. I love your father's sculpture.
Your poem about the soul of a child unformed or unborn is beautiful and sad to me. I can feel your mother's pain and mental instability is understandable. Losing a baby is a huge tragedy. But then you were born and you were a blessing for your mother and father.
Good job honey, I am proud of you.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Hello, Andre,
This is an amazing piece of art. Artistic talent runs in your family. I love your father's sculpture.
Your poem about the soul of a child unformed or unborn is beautiful and sad to me. I can feel your mother's pain and mental instability is understandable. Losing a baby is a huge tragedy. But then you were born and you were a blessing for your mother and father.
Good job honey, I am proud of you.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Gypsy, for your generous, six star review. My parents knew my potential for artistic talent even before I did. Both of them would have been pleased and my father would have been tickled by your compliments of his sculpture.
Comment from Boogienights
This poem is Beautifully wrtten and full of such powerful
Imagery, it gave me
Chills.I had a friend once who miscarried. She didn't want to have a child and felt relief when it happened,But also despair.This poem reminds me of that. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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This poem is Beautifully wrtten and full of such powerful
Imagery, it gave me
Chills.I had a friend once who miscarried. She didn't want to have a child and felt relief when it happened,But also despair.This poem reminds me of that. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Yes, Boogienights, your friend is right. A woman who has had a miscarriage feels all kinds of conflicting emotions. They landed my mother in a psych ward, but later when she became pregnant with me, she focused her despair on writing a poem.
I am humbled that you found my poem chilling and powerful. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
At 23 I too suffered a miscarriage AFTER being dumped in a psychiatric ward, as my parents couldn't cop with my nervous breakdown and weren't prepared to look after me. Firstly your parents have some talent! wow! Just like yourself. Secondly, you were always meant to be here and there is no-one, no set of dna of Ovum and sperm that could have created a bay EXACTLY like you. So your parents were blessed, I hope they see it now, if they don't, they are unlucky, despite their talent. I would like to own something like that sculpture. It's captivating just my sort of art. This poem is too. Amazing well done. Meia x
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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At 23 I too suffered a miscarriage AFTER being dumped in a psychiatric ward, as my parents couldn't cop with my nervous breakdown and weren't prepared to look after me. Firstly your parents have some talent! wow! Just like yourself. Secondly, you were always meant to be here and there is no-one, no set of dna of Ovum and sperm that could have created a bay EXACTLY like you. So your parents were blessed, I hope they see it now, if they don't, they are unlucky, despite their talent. I would like to own something like that sculpture. It's captivating just my sort of art. This poem is too. Amazing well done. Meia x
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Meia, for your generous and compassionate six star review and for sharing your miscarriage story. It confirms that society was ill-equipped to handle women with miscarriages and mental breakdowns in 1959 and as you have attested, our society still has not improved.
I lost both of my parents in 2012 eleven weeks apart. This is how I gained possession of pictures, a poem, a story, and a logbook about the "Woe is Me!" sculpture and poem which inspired my work. Just before they passed, my parents expressed love and confidence in me that I will achieve great things.
Thank you for your compassionate review.
Comment from RobertaLee
This poem would be amazing even without the author's explanatory notes which can only add depth and intensity to an already awesome piece. How very personal this must feel to you; and what a heritage you have as you reveal your parents in both the poem and in the notes. Thank you for sharing this.
The picture is perfect, form and flow immaculate; nothing to suggest (I remember you prefer none anyway) just appreciation for a very fine piece of work.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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This poem would be amazing even without the author's explanatory notes which can only add depth and intensity to an already awesome piece. How very personal this must feel to you; and what a heritage you have as you reveal your parents in both the poem and in the notes. Thank you for sharing this.
The picture is perfect, form and flow immaculate; nothing to suggest (I remember you prefer none anyway) just appreciation for a very fine piece of work.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, RobertaLee, for your generous, six star review. I am grateful that my parents left behind photos, ledgers, poems, and an essay which helped me piece together this poem. There were poets and artists and I inherited this legacy.
Thanks again for your kind review and compliments.
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You are most certainly welcome; well deserved and more.
Smiles
