Luna's Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Seasons"a place to gather my poetic forms
51 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I love nature and the seasons, Jenny - so,
as you can imagine, I enjoyed this -
each season described cleverly, the words
and both rhythm and rhyme flowing smoothly
throughout.
Most impressive, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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I love nature and the seasons, Jenny - so,
as you can imagine, I enjoyed this -
each season described cleverly, the words
and both rhythm and rhyme flowing smoothly
throughout.
Most impressive, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Margaret. I' enjoyed reading this review and it's I who thank YOU, my thanks for your time, my friendl
Comment from Javed05
Nice poem. It has good rhyming and good imagery. Found it engaging for the reader. Ilike rhyming poems.thanks for sharing with us.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Nice poem. It has good rhyming and good imagery. Found it engaging for the reader. Ilike rhyming poems.thanks for sharing with us.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm happy you liked the poem.
jlm
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Jeni. Well done of course, but I would have simply called this piece "Seasons"
Each stanza is a stand alone wonderful image. My fave is:
"Waddling to the blooming pond,
momma leads ducklings, brand new bond.
Daffodils blooming, growing tall,
their beauty loved by one and all."
Bravo, my friend! Bob
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hi, Jeni. Well done of course, but I would have simply called this piece "Seasons"
Each stanza is a stand alone wonderful image. My fave is:
"Waddling to the blooming pond,
momma leads ducklings, brand new bond.
Daffodils blooming, growing tall,
their beauty loved by one and all."
Bravo, my friend! Bob
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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My friend, I liked that better for a title and the change has been made. Thank you very much! I'm happy, as always to hear your favorite part.
Have a great day. I've sent you a private message.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It's lovely, Jeni, I think all seasons have a beauty of their own. I'm looking forward to the next one, the Spring! You have done a wonderful job including them all in this well written poem. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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It's lovely, Jeni, I think all seasons have a beauty of their own. I'm looking forward to the next one, the Spring! You have done a wonderful job including them all in this well written poem. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for the lovely review. I too am looking to spring. spring and fall are my two, with fall being my favorite.
love and light,
jeni
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I thoroughly enjoyed this as it is not a typical approach to seasonal change. You use visual cues to pass through each season with each being a unique pivot into the next allowing the whole piece to be quite fluid. My two favorites are the Amish farmer and the movement of Orion through the heavens. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I thoroughly enjoyed this as it is not a typical approach to seasonal change. You use visual cues to pass through each season with each being a unique pivot into the next allowing the whole piece to be quite fluid. My two favorites are the Amish farmer and the movement of Orion through the heavens. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Mystic Angel, for reading my poem and for your very complimentary review. I'm more than flattered. I'm happy that you shared your two favorite parts with me -- Orion HAD to be there, he's been my friend and confidant since I was six years old. I love him.
love and light,
jeni
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Luna
I enjoyed your romp through the seasons. Well done, you touch on many subjects... running through the water as a sprinkler cools the day, budding flowers and the return of many birds. We are bird watchers, and love to find a rare species. My favorite is the pilleated woodpecker (Woody Woodpecker). He's rare in southern New Brunswick.
You touch on a mother duck and her brood. Once, when vacationing in Prince Edward Island years ago, a mama duck and must have been around 9 or 10 ducklings waddled down the sandy beach to the ocean waves. It amazed me that these little babies could swim along in the waves of the cold Atlantic.
And you shove some stars in there too. I belong to the Saint John Astronomy Club, and one of my favorite sights is Orion, especially his sword.
And a farmer too, with his workhorse. One of my poems to be published this spring has a farmer in it, I put a local farmer (Farmer Hoyt) in "Reuben Rat", a poem for children.
You could easily fine tune your poem for perfect meter. It's not far off.
cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hi Luna
I enjoyed your romp through the seasons. Well done, you touch on many subjects... running through the water as a sprinkler cools the day, budding flowers and the return of many birds. We are bird watchers, and love to find a rare species. My favorite is the pilleated woodpecker (Woody Woodpecker). He's rare in southern New Brunswick.
You touch on a mother duck and her brood. Once, when vacationing in Prince Edward Island years ago, a mama duck and must have been around 9 or 10 ducklings waddled down the sandy beach to the ocean waves. It amazed me that these little babies could swim along in the waves of the cold Atlantic.
And you shove some stars in there too. I belong to the Saint John Astronomy Club, and one of my favorite sights is Orion, especially his sword.
And a farmer too, with his workhorse. One of my poems to be published this spring has a farmer in it, I put a local farmer (Farmer Hoyt) in "Reuben Rat", a poem for children.
You could easily fine tune your poem for perfect meter. It's not far off.
cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I thank you for reading my poem, Kimbob, and for your kind suggestions. However, if I took all of them the poem would no longer have been written by me. I ordinarily encourage reviewers for suggestions for change, but when it redoes the poem it gets a bit daunting.
I do, however, thank you for the time and effort you put into this review. I enjoyed reading, and I'm happy I was able to inspire you!
love and light,
jeni
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I'm sorry, Jeni. I guess I got carried away. I've got to stop myself from offering suggestions. Please forgive me.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem covering all four seasons. From the start of Spring to the end of winter mskes it a full cycle with the best/baddest things of each season we all know.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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A very well-written poem covering all four seasons. From the start of Spring to the end of winter mskes it a full cycle with the best/baddest things of each season we all know.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Sandra, I'm happy that you thought this was well-written. Appreciate your time taken to read and review.
love and light,
jeni
Comment from mbroyles2
You take us through the entire year and describe each season wonderfully.
"Farewell to spring, it's summertime. The temp will rise to ninety-nine"
Ouch, that's hot!
Great writing!
Michael
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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You take us through the entire year and describe each season wonderfully.
"Farewell to spring, it's summertime. The temp will rise to ninety-nine"
Ouch, that's hot!
Great writing!
Michael
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hi, Michael, I''m glad you liked this. Hey with climate change, 99 degrees is cool anymore. But it's a Hoax from China, though.
love and light,
jeni
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Great idea putting warning of no set meter, you might get bombarded with suggestions. Very nicely done and the examples you used to help separate the seasons was great. Amish farmer, bears hibernate, ninety nine and waddeling ducks. Nicely done
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Great idea putting warning of no set meter, you might get bombarded with suggestions. Very nicely done and the examples you used to help separate the seasons was great. Amish farmer, bears hibernate, ninety nine and waddeling ducks. Nicely done
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I knew I'd get bombarded, Barb! Thanks for the courteous review and for reading it in the first place!
love and light,
jeni
Comment from Dean Kuch
I did "like it", Jeni, very much.
Smooth, easy cadence.
Good rhyming throughout.
Simple wording that doesn't have you scrambling for a thesaurus or a dictionary to find the meaning of every other word.
Follows the earth's seasons in progression chronologically.
Very nice...
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I did "like it", Jeni, very much.
Smooth, easy cadence.
Good rhyming throughout.
Simple wording that doesn't have you scrambling for a thesaurus or a dictionary to find the meaning of every other word.
Follows the earth's seasons in progression chronologically.
Very nice...
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hey, my friend!
I'm glad that you did like it. Yeah, I didn't feel like digging through my mind or a thesaurus to find big words. The small ones went in there in any case. Thanks for the read and kind review, Dean.
love and light,
jeni
