Comment from Writer51

Good

This is a nice, fun tongue twister, and yet it carries a story. The words you chose fit the poem perfectly. It took some thinking to come up with this, but thanks for sharing.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016

Dear writer51, I'm happy that you enjoyed the poem.

Question, a four-star rating means the poem could use some work. Could you tell me where you believe I could improve? I'd really appreciate it. I love getting help with my writing!

jeni

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Now that took some doing! You are finding every style going, we never know what you are coming up with next. I do like this one, the alliteration is superb, it falls into line easily without any force. The theme is wonderful, I love magicians and wizards. Well done again!! :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from F. Wehr3

Exceptional

Very interesting work! I am a fantasy writer, so I love the content. My favorite poetic device is the alliteration, and I was enchanted by your poem. Well done!

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

This looks like a wonderfully crafted entry for this fun little writing prompt. I enjoy the days of the King's and Dragons but especially the Wizards. Best of luck in the contest.
God bless!
Steve

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem with an interesting format and alliteration combination.
Your subject is also an unusual subject that makes it a magical poem.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

Comment from cumulus365

Excellent

I like your poetic technique of alliterations, simile in line 7, plot, and theme which make this poem an enjoyable one read. This fantasy story is well achieved: swift, action pack, and fit in a bit of romance as a reward. Its shows you don't have to be like a Harry Potter epic to tell this meaning of evil vs. good-- from line 3 beast beaten and peace proclaimed is a lovely phrase I couldn't say any better. Your poem uses this poetic format is very genuine. I learn something new from you on this style as it gives more freedom to complete a writing rather than the restricted rhyming schemes. The illustration you chose completes poem's topic which is good. Though the poem's write is about medieval period of good conquering evil, you introduced another poetic style that make writing poetry more flexible. Beautiful job. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016

I thank YOU for all your kind words. Let me know when you write one of these, I'd love to read it!

Thanks for your continued attention to my portfolio!

luna

reply by cumulus365 on 30-Nov-2016

Hi Luna, So I gave it a try. It is called A Picture Challenge- An Outhouse. Let me know if the form and the meaning is in check. I just didn't want to go on with the details at this picture sight. While you are there, would you like to pick up some reads? I am just a novice at writing but some how I can review. Best.

Comment from barleygirl

Excellent

Since I love alliteration, I'm delighted to discover this poetic form I've never heard about before. (Good explanation in your notes). You've done a great job with the alliteration, especially, so that it doesn't feel forced or excessive at all. I also enjoy the sense of fantasy & imagination that you've injected into this serious message of the heart.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016

Thanks so much for your gracious review. I'll look out for when you attempt one of these! I know it will be great.

Thanks for your continued attention to my portfolio!

luna

Comment from Pantygynt

Exceptional

This is a most interesting form that builds on the idea of medieval English alliterative verse, itself a form built on Anglo Saxon alliterative verse. Maths was never my strong subject but I wonder why you describe lines 4 and 6 as (x+2)-1 and (x+2)-2 respectively as they are the same as x+1 and x respectively.

Whatever the answer to that may be the result is great fun. So here is a six for originality.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016

Hey, my friend, thanks for the exceptional review! I'm honored, that coming from you. To be honest, I simply copied and pasted the definition from shadowpoetry.

Again, I'm truly honored.

Thanks for your continued attention to my portfolio!

luna

reply by Pantygynt on 28-Nov-2016

You are welcome. I enjoy reading your work.

Comment from winnona

Excellent

A well-written poem. Your well -chosen words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. The artwork and background color completed the piece well.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016

Dear winnona, thank you so much for your kind words, I'm happy you enjoyed this poem.

Thanks for your continued attention to my portfolio!

luna

Comment from ronnie k

Excellent

Love it, cannot say I am familiar with styles my friend but after years of trying to write and finally writing I have learn to see within the poem and get a look at the poet, hey you and this poem look great LOL

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016

Hi ronnie k,

I'm happy that you liked this poem and I'm going to fan you so I can be notified when you post.

Thanks for your continued attention to my portfolio!

luna