Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "At Morning Prayer"A collection of free verse poems
49 total reviews
Comment from Nika2016
It is very good, but Pegasus he is not...so whom does he await?
He waits and no one comes and perhaps that is the point...a riderless horse.
You did well..nice stanzas.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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It is very good, but Pegasus he is not...so whom does he await?
He waits and no one comes and perhaps that is the point...a riderless horse.
You did well..nice stanzas.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Very many thanks, Nika. You are right - he was no Pegasus - except perhaps in his dreams. It was based on an old horse that spent his latter years in retirement on our farm. Thank you so much for the six stars - appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from GoodHearted Woman
Lots of picturesque metaphors in this piece, which I love, and I started to read it three times because I thought I had read that it was free verse, but I kept reading rhymes, but especially at the beginning they are hidden within the lines and o course not at the end where a rhymed poem does rhyme. "Beneath, breathes, breeze" well not only great alliteration but have the same general EE sound that made me question myself. I love your use of the word orison; I was not familiar with that word, so now I have a new word, and it fits your description perfectly.
This should do well, wherever it's bound. Best wishes for it & you.
GoodHearted Woman
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Lots of picturesque metaphors in this piece, which I love, and I started to read it three times because I thought I had read that it was free verse, but I kept reading rhymes, but especially at the beginning they are hidden within the lines and o course not at the end where a rhymed poem does rhyme. "Beneath, breathes, breeze" well not only great alliteration but have the same general EE sound that made me question myself. I love your use of the word orison; I was not familiar with that word, so now I have a new word, and it fits your description perfectly.
This should do well, wherever it's bound. Best wishes for it & you.
GoodHearted Woman
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Marcia, for this very kind review. I am never quite sure if my free vverse works or not! It is a more demanding form than many think, the word choice and word order being so critical to its musicality, or lack thereof. I appreciate your good wishes! Mine also to you! Tony
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Tony, I am no expert on poetry, so this is just my opinion. IMO free verse was what you wrote; it seems like more prose, broken into symmetrical lines. But the unexpected inner rhymes are still ok--in fact, I've tried to copy that because I like my free verse with internal rhymes. Kingsrook on the site writes in the shapes of baskets. All I know to do is read "the greats" and see what they do. Plath, supposed to be the greatest writer (deceased) I don't understand a word she says, but Seamus Heaney, Ireland's Poet Laureate I love; find him on internet. He slogs after blackberries, free verse, and his brother dies from being hit by a car, a great example of understandable (hugely metaphorical) free verse. Let me know. Marcia
Comment from royowen
A beautifully scribed free verse as an entry in this poetry contest. The subject seems to be alive but the burnished bronze equine statue is there. Yes, the imaginative narrative carries two descriptions, but none the less a fine work, you always have me reaching for the dictionary, expanding my lacking vocabulary Tony, well done, blessings and good luck, Roy... Greek hero and defeats the Chimera on Pegasus, (not good on Greek mythology!)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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A beautifully scribed free verse as an entry in this poetry contest. The subject seems to be alive but the burnished bronze equine statue is there. Yes, the imaginative narrative carries two descriptions, but none the less a fine work, you always have me reaching for the dictionary, expanding my lacking vocabulary Tony, well done, blessings and good luck, Roy... Greek hero and defeats the Chimera on Pegasus, (not good on Greek mythology!)
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Very many thanks for dropping by to review, Roy. It's comforting to read of a writer with a dictionary at his elbow! As my dear old uncle used to say, ''In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God'! Best wishes, Tony
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Very many thanks for dropping by to review, Roy. It's comforting to read of a writer with a dictionary at his elbow! As my dear old uncle used to say, ''In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God'! Best wishes, Tony
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Haha I like that
Comment from Belinda
A horse is an elegant creature, and the way you describe it in conjunction with the newborn day is as elegant. I like the imagery you present and your choice of words: patient night, whispered breeze, by night bedewed... Cheers to you, tfawcus... :)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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A horse is an elegant creature, and the way you describe it in conjunction with the newborn day is as elegant. I like the imagery you present and your choice of words: patient night, whispered breeze, by night bedewed... Cheers to you, tfawcus... :)
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Belinda. I'm delighted that you enjoyed this poem, which was based on a memory of mine of an old horse who lived out his final years in retirement on our farm. Best wishes, Tony.
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Thanks, Belinda. I'm delighted that you enjoyed this poem, which was based on a memory of mine of an old horse who lived out his final years in retirement on our farm. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Lynn27
I love poems and stories about horses. I'm sucker for them. This was an excellent poem you written here. I loved how you expressed yourself and the words you chose that pulled me into this piece. You did a great job here.
Good luck in the contest.
Lynn
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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I love poems and stories about horses. I'm sucker for them. This was an excellent poem you written here. I loved how you expressed yourself and the words you chose that pulled me into this piece. You did a great job here.
Good luck in the contest.
Lynn
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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So glad that you enjoyed this, Lynn. It was based on my memory of an old horse who lived out his retirement on our farm a few years ago. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Beautiful Tony;
-the words are words that replenish, grasp, lead and with tranquility calm one's soul and spirit. With a meter that flows like waves upon the sea and soothing words with imagery distinctly clear and most definitively expressive and vividly descriptive. These words tell a magnificent story, that ends with words of prayer, of a beautiful horse(Bellerophon) with a magnificent coat of burnished bronze and sparkling against the Chimera of day. His beauty is such that time stands still as one would see this magnificent horse with an ancient heritage and with had raised
dances into the newborn day.
-Your writing takes a breath out of the reader with a sigh and with an aghast of delightful pleasure.
-Good luck in the contest Tony and made the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Beautiful Tony;
-the words are words that replenish, grasp, lead and with tranquility calm one's soul and spirit. With a meter that flows like waves upon the sea and soothing words with imagery distinctly clear and most definitively expressive and vividly descriptive. These words tell a magnificent story, that ends with words of prayer, of a beautiful horse(Bellerophon) with a magnificent coat of burnished bronze and sparkling against the Chimera of day. His beauty is such that time stands still as one would see this magnificent horse with an ancient heritage and with had raised
dances into the newborn day.
-Your writing takes a breath out of the reader with a sigh and with an aghast of delightful pleasure.
-Good luck in the contest Tony and made the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
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Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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So glad that you enjoyed this, Alex. It was based on my memory of an old horse who lived out his retirement on our farm a few years ago. I found this review of yours most eloquently expressed - almost a poem in its own right! Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome Tony.
Alex
Comment from Ginger Banks
I find this poem to be very expressive and wonderfully painted as the skies within this poem. The horse though old is majestic. Commanding the respect of the reader and those who view him. I very much like the picture, for it causes the reader to see beyond the skin and bone, and at once see the horse for what he once had been. Simply beautiful and has the presence of both life and the ending thereof, which sounds as if it too comes soon.
Thank you so much for sharing!
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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I find this poem to be very expressive and wonderfully painted as the skies within this poem. The horse though old is majestic. Commanding the respect of the reader and those who view him. I very much like the picture, for it causes the reader to see beyond the skin and bone, and at once see the horse for what he once had been. Simply beautiful and has the presence of both life and the ending thereof, which sounds as if it too comes soon.
Thank you so much for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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So glad that you enjoyed this, Ginger. It was based on my memory of an old horse who lived out his retirement on our farm a few years ago. Best wishes, Tony
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I did, and you're welcome.
Comment from Wabigoon
Tony--
Well this is just so spectacularly beautiful that not much else needs to be said. Various mythical references, not really necessary. You "insist" upon words like "orison" of birds and, for me that works, but maybe not for others. I see you standing before, or the horse standing before, an immense span of time, Apollo. It is bowing, maybe not quite bowing, as if proclaiming, "I have heard you, sometimes I have allowed you to ride me, sometimes not. I, the horse, determine whether the inspiration of any "god" rides me or not."
To me, at least, a very courageous poem.
Thanks
Wabigoon
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Tony--
Well this is just so spectacularly beautiful that not much else needs to be said. Various mythical references, not really necessary. You "insist" upon words like "orison" of birds and, for me that works, but maybe not for others. I see you standing before, or the horse standing before, an immense span of time, Apollo. It is bowing, maybe not quite bowing, as if proclaiming, "I have heard you, sometimes I have allowed you to ride me, sometimes not. I, the horse, determine whether the inspiration of any "god" rides me or not."
To me, at least, a very courageous poem.
Thanks
Wabigoon
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Jeff. The genesis of this was a memory I had of an old horse who lived out his last days on our farm a few years ago, but it seemed to become something more in the writing. I used to find it an almost mystical experience looking out of the window towards his paddock at dawn. His routine was almost invariable.
Comment from Liberty Justice
NICELY DONE! Poem about antique bronze horse is so inviting and mesmerizing. Verses provide suspense and pondering as horse journeys through the night. Views sights and sounds of nature's finest. Beauty glows upon the mane of this horse. View my writings, and good luck contest today. liberty justice
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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NICELY DONE! Poem about antique bronze horse is so inviting and mesmerizing. Verses provide suspense and pondering as horse journeys through the night. Views sights and sounds of nature's finest. Beauty glows upon the mane of this horse. View my writings, and good luck contest today. liberty justice
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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So glad that you enjoyed this, Melonie. It was based on my memory of an old horse who lived out his retirement on our farm a few years ago. Best wishes, Tony