Syria 2016
A Triolet for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Poignant triolet...ironic to pair this form with a theme related to war--and effective, for sure.Fine flow and rhyming. Great choice of phrasing for the repeating line...driving the point home that the war is "Because of weapons friends supplied,"
Bravo. Touching presentation too.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
Poignant triolet...ironic to pair this form with a theme related to war--and effective, for sure.Fine flow and rhyming. Great choice of phrasing for the repeating line...driving the point home that the war is "Because of weapons friends supplied,"
Bravo. Touching presentation too.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Thanks, RD. I wasn't going to enter this contest, but a remark on the radio made me think. On being asked for a solution to the war, the interviewee simp,y said, "Stop supplying arms." Sadly, there are too many vested interests for this to be a likely outcome.
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Yes--it is so simple in theory but too many selfish, greedy men make it impossible.
So sad.
Warmly, rd
Comment from maryvellef
Great poem. Expressive of the too present and terrible situation of refugees. Well-constructed lines and good rhyme. Read it so many times. Nothing at fault here. Just great poem.
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
Great poem. Expressive of the too present and terrible situation of refugees. Well-constructed lines and good rhyme. Read it so many times. Nothing at fault here. Just great poem.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Thank you, Mary, for your review and affirmation. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Domino 2
Apart from the conflict and the numerous innocent civilian 'displaced' and killed, you highlight, very importantly how so called friendly nations supplied the weapons for these outrages - sometimes supplied for political gain and influence in the region, and also for profit without morals.
A lot said in this very restrictive form, due to its requirement of FIVE repeat lines out of eight.
Cheers, Ray
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
Apart from the conflict and the numerous innocent civilian 'displaced' and killed, you highlight, very importantly how so called friendly nations supplied the weapons for these outrages - sometimes supplied for political gain and influence in the region, and also for profit without morals.
A lot said in this very restrictive form, due to its requirement of FIVE repeat lines out of eight.
Cheers, Ray
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Yes, it's a bit of a silly form really. Probably the best approach would be to parody it.
Comment from William Ross
Very good a great triolet on the war in Syria, as long as there is war someone will sell the weapons. maybe someday the people will get their act together. good luck on this.
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reply by the author on 08-May-2016
Very good a great triolet on the war in Syria, as long as there is war someone will sell the weapons. maybe someday the people will get their act together. good luck on this.
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Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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I'm afraid you are right. However, the consequences grow more and more tragic with every advance in technology.
Comment from mfowler
A great triolet, Tony.
It's actually about something, something tragic and
unbelievably wasteful. All lines hive into each other
with logical progression and read sweetly when read
aloud. Your poem expresses reasoned concern for the
length of this protracted conflict and the source of the
weaponry. All elements of form and style are excellent.
I think this deserves to be on the podium.
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reply by the author on 08-May-2016
A great triolet, Tony.
It's actually about something, something tragic and
unbelievably wasteful. All lines hive into each other
with logical progression and read sweetly when read
aloud. Your poem expresses reasoned concern for the
length of this protracted conflict and the source of the
weaponry. All elements of form and style are excellent.
I think this deserves to be on the podium.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2016
reply by the author on 08-May-2016
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Thanks, Mike. I don't find this an easy form. Three repeating lines are a bit of an overkill. Anyway, thanks for your encouragement. At least one has a better chance of making a poem of it than with a palindrome!
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My pleasure, Tony. It's a beggar of a form. Three repeats is so hard to use. Yes, better than palindromes. I'll add 3-5-3s and acrostics as other forms needing locking up.