Comment from Ulla

Excellent

hahahaha... you had me laughing with this one. Very good. This is really quite funny and well penned. Fancy that, you write poetry! And good luck with this one. All the best. Ulla:)

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Ulla. Actually I have written a lot of poetry (in my portfolio) More on the serious side though. I did until I got the novel "bug". LOL. Thanks so much, my dear friend. Bob

reply by Ulla on 10-Apr-2016

Oh, ok, Bob, I didn't know that. I have just started writing poetry, and I won my first contest ever on FS this morning. I'm very pleased. Ulla:)

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

OMG. Good for you, Ulla. What is the name of it? Bob

reply by Ulla on 11-Apr-2016

For Anchor at Sunset. It's not promoted so I don't expect a review. I would just like you to read it if you got a moment. Ulla:))

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Great bob I say you did wonders with this Yawn entry.
it didn't seem to brother you knowing your are not a poetry writer but, you should to me have pride wring your novels

Gert

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much dear Gert. I sincerely appreciate your loyalty to my writing. :) Bob

reply by Gert sherwood on 10-Apr-2016

You are welcome Bob

Gert

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Very good, Bob. This fits the contest guidelines wonderfully well. I figured you, like all novelists, were also a poet. I really can't wait to read some of your free verse. I bet it's pretty darn good.

Excellent job with this yawn factor, and I wish you all the best in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Gloria. I sincerely appreciate your time and compliments. If you want to check it out in my port....I used to write a lot of free verse...until I got interested and devoted to novels. LOL...:) Bob

reply by Gloria .... on 10-Apr-2016

It always surprises me when poets are surprised that novelists write poetry. To me, it's a given, of course novelists write poetry. LOL.

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

:) Thank you, my friend. X Bob

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi Bob,
I think you might have nailed it, what a great imagination for not having any imagination in this form of poetry!!?
Well done
Brenda

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Brennie. I figured...what the heck...LOL...I have a lot of poetry in my portfolio that I wrote before I got into novel writing if you wan to check..someday. Bless you, my friend. Bob

Comment from MelB

Excellent

A great contest entry, Bob. The syllable count is spot on. I don't picture you as the prideful type, but then again, this is not a biographical piece. Good display of humor. Hope you win!

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Awww. Thanks so much, Mel. I really appreciate you taking the time. Bob

Comment from JW

Excellent

Gee - has poetry degraded to the point where you write three lines of whatever and it's called a poem?

If so - let's try this one

Flash!
Blue screen of death.
Whea uncorrectable error. :-(

I've seen this PC error way to many times the past couple of months.

Thanks for sharing this, Bob. JW

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Hi, JW. Not sure what you are talking about, my friend. The contest called for three lines???? And what is the Flash thing about that makes no sense to me. sorry. Bob

reply by JW on 10-Apr-2016

Actually, Bob - the poem I sent was not suppose to be a contest entry. It is nothing more than displaying how a person can write random words and/or sentences and call it a poem.

What's written does not necessary have to make sense.

However, just to clarify my poem - if one was a computer nerd or tech - what I wrote would make a lot of sense.

For others - it's highly unlikely.

The first two sentences depict what you see on your computer screen when you experience a PC hardware error, called a "Whea uncorrectable error".

The screen blinks or flashes - then turns blue with an error message - which in PC terms is called the blue screen of death.

The third line of the poem is a short version of the PC hardware error message.

I hope my explanation helps. JW

reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Yes, indeed, JW. I am tech impaired so please forgive my ignorance. LOL...Bob

Comment from happykat4

Excellent

You get my vote. Well said! You don't have to worry about your pride, the entry is excellent. Hope you win. Have a very nice day. Kathy

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Kathy. LOL...I am no poet, however I have written quite a bit of it before I began writing novels. It's in my portfolio. Check it out someday when you have time...I would love to get your opinion. :) Bob

reply by happykat4 on 10-Apr-2016

I will do that. :) I finished a children's book, sat down with an illustrator this weekend to negotiate terms and fees. We will see how it plays out. We get along very well, she has given me a few ideas for branding marketing and setting up a web page. I am looking at others too. Talk with you soon.

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Are you self publishing then? Bob

reply by happykat4 on 10-Apr-2016

The first book I probably will because it is the quickest. I have tested this book with children and the reviews from them have been very positive. Th err asked if I was going to have more books. One family said I should've d add a couple of characters, which I did. I had a suggestion, I should set up a glossary in the back of the book. A m said it has helped her children with spelling and, builds their vocabulary. L
I am going to add audio That way they don't have to wait for a parent to read it. :) Kathy

reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016

Good for you, my friend. :) Bob

Comment from Pantygynt

Good

Well, of all the people to see on this side of the site you, Bob would certainly be the last. I like the sentiments expressed but this one won't get far as it stands since you are asked for 17 syllables in 5-7-5 form. You have the 17 syllables but in 6-4-7 form. So I'm afraid it is back to the drawing board with this one. Can't do better than a 4 sorry.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Okee dokee. I changed it. check....Is this okay now? Bob LOL

reply by Pantygynt on 10-Apr-2016

Can you novelists not count 5-7-5 is what you are aiming for and we are creeping up to it. This is now 5-6-5 Try "so what in the hell is this". That is 7. Lol

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Yeah we can count, Jim. Can you find some manners?

reply by Pantygynt on 10-Apr-2016

Certainly. What about "thank you" ... please? Lol.

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thankyou was forthcoming had you not have been so rude. Now.....thank you. Bob :)

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Good one!! What a clever man you are, I love this one, Bob. Very good, and I didn't yawn at all, LOL! You have used the contest to your advantage, and that, my friend, is very clever! Good luck in the contest! xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Sandra. I had to chane it slightly though...someone reminded me it had to be 5-7-5 I had 6-4 5 or something. LOL...Bless you my friend for your encouragement. Bob

Comment from teols2016

Excellent

I feel your pain. Us writers are sometimes so underappreciated. You took full advantage of this prompt and turned out an amusing yarn. Well done and good luck.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Phil. Are you in? Bob

reply by teols2016 on 10-Apr-2016

No, the contest is full...an amusing outcome. Good luck though.

reply by Anonymous Member on 13-Apr-2016

No, the contest is full...an amusing outcome. Good luck though.