Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

An excellent Rondeau Redouble, Steve. You do well with the restrictive two rhyme sounds. Anyone who has ever tried to write one of these knows how hard they are to do - not only because of the two rhyme sounds, but to make those few words that do rhyme fit into the theme of the poem. It's not enough that they rhyme - they have to make sense too. You do that very well in all your poetry. This one is perfectly done.
The Rondeau redouble also has repeating lines, just to add to the complexity of the poem, and you handle that quite well as far as I can tell.
Excellent job my friend - and congratulations on getting it published!
Rose.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Rose.

Always on the lookout for someone who will publish my work and pay me for it.

Steve

reply by Just2Write on 11-Jan-2016

That's a great theme - my muse thinks so too - but, he's a moody guy and sometimes gets all fired up on something only to abandon me once I actually get busy on it. I'll try.

reply by Just2Write on 11-Jan-2016

Never had that happen. So, Good for you! Rose.

Comment from Drew Delaney

Exceptional

Love the Rondeay Rdouble, and you used the form to your advantage. It is well
Executed nd the rhyme is superb.

Your lines work well together and each repetitive line is well placed and makes good sense.

I think this must have been a winner.

Drew

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Drew.

This one hasn't been entered in any contest, but there is another one, also a Rondeau Redouble, that I've entered in a big competition just for fun. That may pop up on FanStory at some stage.

Steve

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Yes, Steve. I'm a believer in the great potential of the rondeau redouble! I tried one due to your encouragement, and do believe I'm hooked :) I'll try this form on a regular basis.

Your poem has a gruesome theme of death and the grim reaper. Your stanzas continue to tell the story in further detail, expanding upon the topic. I like your closing portion of the first line. Well done.

Now I'm singing that monkey's song in my head lol!

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Joy.

I've done a few of these now and I'm always quite pleased with the result.

Steve

Comment from Chrissy710

Excellent

Hi Steve, Wow this is great , bit I had to readcit a couple of times to get the rhythm and see that each line in 1st verse is then given to each stanza in order. clever and your theme is interesting and appropriate for this style ( another one for me to learn about and one day may try one) Complicated yes but a good challenge. I like this Thanks for writing and sharing Cheers Christineð???

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Christine.

Yes, it takes a bit of getting your head around the various aspects of these things. Two difficult elements - getting the repeating lines to fit in naturally and having enough (10 of each) rhyming words that can be made to fit as well.

Steve

reply by Chrissy710 on 11-Jan-2016

good though

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

Well written good rhyme, there are many ways to die and I hope it's while making love a heart attack maybe, go out with a bang.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, William.

Despite what it says in the poem, perhaps peacefully, in your sleep, isn't a bad choice either!

Steve

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Dead in the end, I take it? lol
well told, sounds like a complicated form, but yes
it does lend itself to the dead theme here. ;)

WEll done and some great rhymes I would have never thought up,
as I didn't understand a few (cultural divide has struck again)
'a grand explosion's better than a rot.'
(what's a 'rot'?)
rot = decay here? is that what you mean? but we'd not say 'a rot'

I really enjoyed the form here. Well done
Cat

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Cat - yes, rot - decay.
a rot may be a little unusual but it's there as a balance for a grand explosion...

Don't think it's a cultural thing and you're the only one who's mentioned it.

Steve

reply by I am Cat on 11-Jan-2016

probably the antihistamine clouding my brain... then again, hard to say. lol

Comment from Linda Kay

Excellent

Wow, this Roundeau Redouble rhyming is a tricky format, and you aced it. I especially liked the sentiment and humor in the last verse, you are just as gone however you go!

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Linda - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Adri7enne

Excellent

Rondeau Redouble? I'll have to take your word for it. It reads beautifully with great rhyming and an unfailing beat. Some of those rhymes must have taken a bit of thinking - "Pol Pot and 'you've got." Nice!

Yep, there sure are lots of ways. You may as well enjoy it while you're here. Fun stuff, Steve.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Tahnks, Adrienne.

Yep, nothing too serious here!

Steve

Comment from joannakruk

Excellent

Superb, so true. Live it up and make a mark on this world! Great use of political examples. I'm motivated to leave a legacy now ð???

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, Joanna.

As long as it's not a legacy like Amin and Pol Pot!

Steve

reply by joannakruk on 11-Jan-2016

Very good point!

Comment from cj lutton

Excellent

Do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rave...

Your entreaties should be on the lips and in the hearts of everyone.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks, CJ

I hadn't thought of the similarity of theme between this and Dylan Thomas's wonderful piece. His was a villanelle, but there are even some similarities between that and the Rondeau...

Steve