Tiny Tales of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 68 "The Mulberry"Multi-authored book of flash/micro horror fiction
53 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Well done Dean, back to your ghoulish best, the job at Mulberry's comes at a certain price, Charley works the graveyard shift at the store which was destroyed by fire on Chridtmas, with roasted people on its menu, the before, they had renovated and reproduced a new store,taken delivery of many mannequins......or were they? Great twist at the end, Charlie works all alone, well done, Dean, well scribed, imaginative and scary, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Well done Dean, back to your ghoulish best, the job at Mulberry's comes at a certain price, Charley works the graveyard shift at the store which was destroyed by fire on Chridtmas, with roasted people on its menu, the before, they had renovated and reproduced a new store,taken delivery of many mannequins......or were they? Great twist at the end, Charlie works all alone, well done, Dean, well scribed, imaginative and scary, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Thank you, Roy. As you know I always try to keep the blood, guts and gore down to a bare minimum. That's not what true horror is all about, at least not to me. It's the uncomfortable feeling you often get after reading a story--as if someone is nearby--just watching you. That is horror to me.
Thanks again for your comments, my friend.
~Dean
-
I get the shivery feeling, like walking over a grave, well done, mate
Comment from MacMhuirich
What do ya think popped into Charlie's mind to scare him? It must've been a spooky place to work after the accident, this is a fine tale to tell the kids while popping bubble wrap. I'm off to try and sleep now and flatten the hair that's stood on end. Excellent work Dean.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
What do ya think popped into Charlie's mind to scare him? It must've been a spooky place to work after the accident, this is a fine tale to tell the kids while popping bubble wrap. I'm off to try and sleep now and flatten the hair that's stood on end. Excellent work Dean.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Thank you, John. I didn't want the story to be overtly violent or bloody, but to convey more of a sense of dread than anything else.
Hopefully I've succeeded in doing so.
Thank you for your comments. ~Dean
Comment from ~Dovey
This is an interesting commentary on commercialism during the holidays, even if that wasn't the true intent, Dean. Maybe poor Charlie will come to his senses and make it out alive, or maybe not. I guess perhaps there is room for a sequel. A promising tale, to be sure.
Kim
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
This is an interesting commentary on commercialism during the holidays, even if that wasn't the true intent, Dean. Maybe poor Charlie will come to his senses and make it out alive, or maybe not. I guess perhaps there is room for a sequel. A promising tale, to be sure.
Kim
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Yeah, it was meant to convey the darker side of commercialism, Dovey, as well as how minimum wage, part-time workers are often taken advantage of and for granted, not to mention left out of many company functions and activities.
I hadn't thought about a sequel, but I see what you mean. A different eerie tale set in the same haunted department store.
That just might be worth pursuing.
Thanks for the comments, and the idea.
~Dean
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello Handsome :)
Another spooky tale for the collection. This one reminded me of an episode of the twilight zone- The After Hours (1986). I like the narrator's tone that sets the mood of the story. Good job my friend!
Gypsy Darlin'
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Hello Handsome :)
Another spooky tale for the collection. This one reminded me of an episode of the twilight zone- The After Hours (1986). I like the narrator's tone that sets the mood of the story. Good job my friend!
Gypsy Darlin'
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
I won't deny that I had that episode of TZ in mind while writing this, Gypsy. Hopefully it isn't too much like it, at least for those who care enough to read it.
Thanks to YOU for doing just that.
I always appreciate your comments.
~Dean :}
Comment from GE Parson
Brother Dean,
I've been away from my computer for a while, and I have over 40 messages. So this is going to be a quick "Hey great write!
God bless Jerry
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Brother Dean,
I've been away from my computer for a while, and I have over 40 messages. So this is going to be a quick "Hey great write!
God bless Jerry
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
My response will be quick as well...
Thank you for your comments. ~Dean
Comment from doggymad
Very interesting Dean. Your description of popping and crackling sounds as people burning were fairly gross.
There is however, plenty of humour to offset this.
Charlie sounds like a lovely chap who has a long creepy night ahead.
Great work my friend
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Very interesting Dean. Your description of popping and crackling sounds as people burning were fairly gross.
There is however, plenty of humour to offset this.
Charlie sounds like a lovely chap who has a long creepy night ahead.
Great work my friend
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Thank you, Freda. I didn't want the story to be overtly violent or bloody, but to convey more of a sense of dread than anything else.
Hopefully I've succeeded in doing so.
Thank you for your comments. ~Dean
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent point about how many stores and firms exploit part-time workers only at holiday times, Dean.
'crackly crunch--crispy critters for Christmas' - great fun alliterated dark humour.
Top imagery throughout from the eyes of this bitter worker who has no choice but to do the hard work and unsociable hours.
Shame about the kids - that'll teach the greedy spoilt little so n sos. Haha.
I thought you'd forgotten the horror aspect til the spooky mannequins came to life.
Top read!
Best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Excellent point about how many stores and firms exploit part-time workers only at holiday times, Dean.
'crackly crunch--crispy critters for Christmas' - great fun alliterated dark humour.
Top imagery throughout from the eyes of this bitter worker who has no choice but to do the hard work and unsociable hours.
Shame about the kids - that'll teach the greedy spoilt little so n sos. Haha.
I thought you'd forgotten the horror aspect til the spooky mannequins came to life.
Top read!
Best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Thanks, Ray. It's flash fiction so I was tryin' to save all the scares up until the very end. I didn't really want readers to know where the story was going until then. So far, so good on that particular aspect.
Thanks for checking this story out, I know you don't read prose all that much so I feel doubly grateful when you decide to read one of my stories.
Much obliged, mate.
~Dean :)
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Top notch, my friend.I especially like the creepshow - esqe liner notes at the end. I was thoroughly entertained.Keep 'em scared D'nuts.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Top notch, my friend.I especially like the creepshow - esqe liner notes at the end. I was thoroughly entertained.Keep 'em scared D'nuts.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Hahaha, I figured you would pick up on that monologue if anyone did, 'Sak, heh-heh. I'm tryin' to keep the scares--and the book it is included in--afloat.
Thanks for checkin' this out, and for the exceptionally generous rating too. I always appreciate getting your feedback, and your comments here are certainly a morale booster. I was beginning to wonder if anyone was really reading it or not, LOL.
Thanks again, buddy.
~D'Nutz
Comment from Pantygynt
I guess Charlie's gonna get when he investigates those Christmas crackers. So in the end this festive season is gonna be a case of Munchausen's Christmas by proxy. Lol. Happy Christmas Dean.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
I guess Charlie's gonna get when he investigates those Christmas crackers. So in the end this festive season is gonna be a case of Munchausen's Christmas by proxy. Lol. Happy Christmas Dean.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Hahaha, good, Jim...very good, lol.
Thanks for checking out my latest Tiny Tale of Terror, and for your clever comments. I can always use a good laugh, buddy.
~Dean :}
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Now this is what I call real horror
with people being burned alive or
choked by fumes - zombies and werewolves
are more fantasy - you certainly have
a way with words, my man - you should
be out there making a fortune with your
talent - so many people follow horror.
See, some say they've heard screams echoing in the night(,) coming from the
Margaret
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
Now this is what I call real horror
with people being burned alive or
choked by fumes - zombies and werewolves
are more fantasy - you certainly have
a way with words, my man - you should
be out there making a fortune with your
talent - so many people follow horror.
See, some say they've heard screams echoing in the night(,) coming from the
Margaret
Comment Written 07-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2015
-
Thank you for reading, pointing out my mistake in punctuation, and for your very kind and complimentary comments, Margaret. I do make a decent living selling my horror stories and dark poetry to various different publishing houses, e-zines and the like. I'm not as successful as Stephen King, but I'm trying, lol.
Thanks again!
~Dean ;)
-
I've faith - you'll get there. Some of Stephen Kings work is really weird these days- my Colin used to read all his books, but has given up on him. Years ago I used to read them too since they were at hand - I'd read anything and everything back then - I can't keep my eyes open to read for long periods now - I tend to strain them on screen.
-
I know what you mean about reading, Margaret. While I can see just fine with my reading glasses on, it makes me very sleepy. I'll get a chapter, perhaps two done, then pass out cold, LOL.
I won't give up, believe you me. I'll just keep bangin' away at it--day after day--until I get it right.
~Dean ;}