Comment from skye

Excellent

The meter is way off, but the storyline is great.
These emotions of love, loss, death, life, and pain are all inside your rhymed lines.
I took this journey, and it felt like a country song.
Well done.

 Comment Written 04-May-2015

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reply by the author on 04-May-2015

Thank you for your comments and support.

Comment from LouiseSimpson

Excellent

I believe this reads like an affair split up and also could be a marriage split.
Sounds of anger and sadness, but loving memories, too.

 Comment Written 04-May-2015

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reply by the author on 04-May-2015

Thank you for your comments and support.

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

This is a good song lyrics poem that reminded me of many breakup songs. It has a classic feel of a song I have heard before. What genre do you imagine it? Country? Pop? And are you a singer/songwriter who will record or publish this? Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 04-May-2015

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reply by the author on 04-May-2015

I only write Country lyrics. That is all. Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Anon. This is a really powerful song lyrics/poem and a good contest entry as well. If it were mine I'd put a little more emphasis on the candle bit to perhaps satisfy the contest title. Good luck with it in the comp. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 04-May-2015

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reply by the author on 04-May-2015

Thanks for your comments and support as always.

Comment from benoenose

Excellent

Romantic poem with desperate longing. The poet sees the moon, the celestial connection and the expectation.
Read by romantic lovers and love seekers.

 Comment Written 04-May-2015

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reply by the author on 04-May-2015

Thanks for your comments.

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This has a good song-lyrics sound to it, of lost love. Using such grammar as "ain't" and "I can't stand no more" give it an old-fashioned what we used to call "honky tonk" music sound. (As lyrics it probably needs a little repeating line as a chorus.)

Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

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 Comment Written 03-May-2015

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reply by the author on 03-May-2015

Thanks for your comments and support.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi...

Composed very well -- depicting a heart of stone. Sadly, there are more of those type people than should be. Take love, stomp on it, and then move on.

This is a great take on the prompt. Good luck.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)


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 Comment Written 03-May-2015

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reply by the author on 03-May-2015

Thanks for your comments and support.