Tiny Terrors
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Doppelganger"A collection of short horror fiction
61 total reviews
Comment from Drew Delaney
This is so freaky, scary. It's the kind of dream I think we all have as children. It's very short, but the effect is definitely frightening and your attempts is satisfied in relating this horror. Well done! Drew
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
This is so freaky, scary. It's the kind of dream I think we all have as children. It's very short, but the effect is definitely frightening and your attempts is satisfied in relating this horror. Well done! Drew
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Hey, thanks so much for your kind comments and great feedback for this story, Delaney. I sincerely appreciate it. :} ~Dean
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Both your story and your authors notes, creeped me out! How awful! I don't know what I would have done if I'd had a dream like that. And that little girl under the bed, OMG, how would a father cope with that? Chillers, Dean, you are the MASTER! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Both your story and your authors notes, creeped me out! How awful! I don't know what I would have done if I'd had a dream like that. And that little girl under the bed, OMG, how would a father cope with that? Chillers, Dean, you are the MASTER! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks a bunch, Sandra. I'm glad it gave you a little jolt as it was intended to do. I doubt that I'm the "Master" of anything pertaining to the written word. However, the fact that you think so means the world to me.
Thanks so much again. :} ~Dean
Comment from sgalletti
Very fun Dean! You are a master at presentation! Loved the music and it definitely did bring me back to those days when we would site around the radio and scare our mutual pants off. Short but sweet. Sue
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Very fun Dean! You are a master at presentation! Loved the music and it definitely did bring me back to those days when we would site around the radio and scare our mutual pants off. Short but sweet. Sue
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks for the feedback on the intro, Sue. I worked pretty hard on that crazy thing, LOL. I wanted a scratchy, static-like radio sound but it distorted the voice too much. I'm glad you're digging this series. Now, I just gotta keep coming up with enough ideas to fill an entire book. Oh mercy! Heh-heh>
Thanks again! :} ~Dean
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Oh no, we are in your debt for the countless hours of entertainment.
In your dream, did the ghost parents take you away or did you always wake up?
This is FABULOUS micro/flash. Bloody wonderful. Have you ever looked up the site 100 word stories? I think, maybe they pay. This is a winner, and 8 or 9 star piece of art.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Oh no, we are in your debt for the countless hours of entertainment.
In your dream, did the ghost parents take you away or did you always wake up?
This is FABULOUS micro/flash. Bloody wonderful. Have you ever looked up the site 100 word stories? I think, maybe they pay. This is a winner, and 8 or 9 star piece of art.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Ingrid. I'm really glad that you're getting into the spirit of this series (no pun intended, heh-heh). You mean to tell me there are place which actually pay you real, honest to goodness money for flash horror fiction? Good grief, I'm gonna do some research!
These stories have all been passed down to me by gatherings around campfires, or some of the great elderly folk I volunteer my time to in nursing homes in our area, and I just put my own spin on them. "Hey, I'll tell you a scary story if you tell me one first," I'll say. You want to talk about a wealth of spooky, creepy stories? Just sit down and hold a conversation with a 98 year old person with marginal dementia. Good Lord, it's enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention.
The whole idea of this series is simply to horrify, terrify and entertain the good readers here who are kind enough to give it a shot. Readers just like yourself, Ingrid.
Thanks so much again for the awesome feedback. I sincerely appreciate it as always. :}
~Dean
Comment from ravenblack
Damn Dean, this one gave me the chills! Really, it goes to show that horror is truly in the mind, the imagination filling in the blanks. Which is the doppelgänger? I'm guessing the girl on the bed.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Damn Dean, this one gave me the chills! Really, it goes to show that horror is truly in the mind, the imagination filling in the blanks. Which is the doppelgänger? I'm guessing the girl on the bed.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Chills are good, Ed, at least from a horror writers perspective, LOL. Not so much if one has a cold or flu-like symptoms. Yep, you got it. Poor Edgar, who knows what the thing he's been hugging and tucking into bed that's masquerading as his daughter is? I suspect they'll both get the chance to find out.
Thanks again for the feedback, buddy. I really appreciate that! :} ~Dean
Comment from NurseBarb
Holy Crap Dean!! This is really terrifying. Had to turn the music and voice off so I can truly concentrate on the story as I knew it would be good. And... yes it was good. Had to reread it though and it sunk in the second time. It was someone else in her bed. Yikes. Very creative writing and a perfectly creepy read. To this day, I never hang a foot, hand, arm, finger, or toe over my bed in case there's something under my bed. LOL. Fantastic presentation and learned a new word today..doppelganger. Thanks for sharing... I think.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Holy Crap Dean!! This is really terrifying. Had to turn the music and voice off so I can truly concentrate on the story as I knew it would be good. And... yes it was good. Had to reread it though and it sunk in the second time. It was someone else in her bed. Yikes. Very creative writing and a perfectly creepy read. To this day, I never hang a foot, hand, arm, finger, or toe over my bed in case there's something under my bed. LOL. Fantastic presentation and learned a new word today..doppelganger. Thanks for sharing... I think.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Ha-ha, thanks a million, NurseBarb. My daughter is the same way. And like me, she also hates for her closet door to be open, even just a crack.
I'm glad you got the meaning behind this the second time out, after rereading it. That's one advantage of doing flash fiction. It doesn't take someone too long to go back and read it again, heh-heh.
Much obliged, my friend. :} ~Dean
Comment from rtobaygo
Hello, Dean
Nice twist with the original girl under the bed, rather than on it. I can imagine the father's initial shock as it gradually turns to confused horror.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Hello, Dean
Nice twist with the original girl under the bed, rather than on it. I can imagine the father's initial shock as it gradually turns to confused horror.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks for having a go at this one, Ray. I really appreciate that. I hope you're digging this series and having fun with it.
Thanks again, and have a fantastic, safe weekend. :} ~Dean
Comment from robina1978
An excellent picture that complements your story perfectly. I enjoyed the read. The end came as a surprise-LOL. A little girl asks her father to check under her bed for monsters. There is a look-alike in my bed.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
An excellent picture that complements your story perfectly. I enjoyed the read. The end came as a surprise-LOL. A little girl asks her father to check under her bed for monsters. There is a look-alike in my bed.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Ine. I'm glad you're getting into this series, my friend. Have yourself a wonderful weekend, and thanks again! :}~Dean
Comment from Just2Write
What a twist at the end of this tale. Now, the issue becomes, what to do with the pretender in the bed. The what-happens-next thoughts are interesting to explore. I'd get the Hell out of there, dragging my kid with me - but, would I know which being was truly my child, and which was the demon?
The mind boggles.
As to the nightmare, I think all of us have had recurring ones at one time of another. I out-grew mine, when I came to realize what the dream was telling me. It was a hard truth to bear, but that's what worked for me.
Rose.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
What a twist at the end of this tale. Now, the issue becomes, what to do with the pretender in the bed. The what-happens-next thoughts are interesting to explore. I'd get the Hell out of there, dragging my kid with me - but, would I know which being was truly my child, and which was the demon?
The mind boggles.
As to the nightmare, I think all of us have had recurring ones at one time of another. I out-grew mine, when I came to realize what the dream was telling me. It was a hard truth to bear, but that's what worked for me.
Rose.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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That's right, Rose. What to do, what...to...do, indeed, heh-heh. Like you, I know exactly what I'd do if faced with a similar situation. I make like a tree and leave, LOL!
I have nightmares on a weekly basis, my friend. However, I also research a lot of gruesome topics, read lots of books (not all horror stories either as you might imagine), and watch a few good movies, if asked to review them. So, my subliminal brain gets constantly bombarded, and those thoughts have to go somewhere. At least I can utilize them as material. I write everything -- and I do mean everything down just as soon as I remember it. Most times, it's immediately after said nightmare wakens me out of a good sleep, LOL.
Thanks again, Rose. I truly appreciate your comments. ~Dean :)
Comment from giraffmang
Great scene setting before the read. very effective and right on the money. (reminded me a little of the intro to 'Thriller')
This one was awesome. I got chills with it. You know, I was expecting the monster UNDER the bed. Very well done.
What happens when he sits up, or will he ever?
G
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
Great scene setting before the read. very effective and right on the money. (reminded me a little of the intro to 'Thriller')
This one was awesome. I got chills with it. You know, I was expecting the monster UNDER the bed. Very well done.
What happens when he sits up, or will he ever?
G
Comment Written 27-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015
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Hey, thanks, G-Man. I really am glad that you're digging this series. Hopefully I can keep coming up with enough ideas to fill an entire book. That would be, what, do you think? Fifty, sixty stories perhaps?
Anyhow, thanks a million for the excellent rating and great feedback. I really value your opinion and appreciate it. :} ~Dean