Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

But Frank knows it is only Tiger his cat who sleeps in the closet and who woke up to Franks nightmare screams. But wait! In his dream the clock read 12:01 and that's not Tiger. OH NO!
NOOOOoooooo! Poor Frank. Hee hee hee. :<) Nancy

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Hah-ha, thanks for the enthusiastic comments, Nancy. I appreciate you making it fun, LOL. Flash fiction is s-o-o-o-o difficult to write and make it work. However, when you couple that with trying to scare the pants off folks, well...that makes it doubly difficult. Flash fiction is to prose as sonnets or blank verse are to poetry. If it isn't done right, it sucks!

Thanks again for your review, Nancy. I appreciate it. :)

~Dean

reply by nancy_e_davis on 25-Mar-2015

Smiles! Have a nice day Dean!

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

I will, Nancy. You do the same. :)

Comment from Louise Michelle

Excellent

Hi Dean,

The first thing that caught my eye was that there are too many spaces between paragraphs. Maybe that's another FS glitch.

This is definitely a good genre for your horror stories. So, he had a bad dream, did he? Then who was that in the closet, hee hee. I love the clock graphic - terrific.

Hugs,
Lou

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Thanks, Lou, and I don't think we wanna know what was in his closet, heh-heh-heh...

I keep fixing the spacing in this story and I look again and it's all screwed up. I'll try again one more time...

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi Dean Kuch,

You've certainly done your homework on the more gory aspects of the Greek and other mythology. Keats wrote some fantastic poetry, some of it very dark indeed. One wonders occasionally what he was (like Wordsworth and his daffodils, or Blake and his tiger ...) was sniffing, smoking or otherwise ingesting!

Essentially, don't mess with the wife of one of the gods - things can get very unpleasant indeed.

Patrick

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

I love Keats poetry, Patrick. Next to Poe, he is probably my all-time favorite. His poem, the one I mentioned in my author's notes, inspired this write. If you've never read his Poem, "The Lamia", you should.

Thanks you for your review, my friend. ~Dean

reply by Patrick G Cox on 25-Mar-2015

It's been years. We did a bit of Keats at school, and being 'bookish' I read a bit more than most, but I am not much of a poet myself.

Patrick

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Me either, LOL. But I enjoy reading the eerier ones, heh-heh...

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

Hahahaha! G'day Dean. That's another great piece mate, that is one hell of a myth. I was sitting in my office the other night and everyone had gone out so I was alone. Then I heard the cupboard behind my creak and then this loud bang. I nearly had heart failure as my domestic help said.."Sorry Sir, I dropped the bucket LOL. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Hey, thanks, mate! That experience would have placed the fear of God in me as well! Holy heated vegamite! There is a wealth of modern-day stories o be gleaned from Greek mythology. You simply have to do a bit of deciphering and interpretation to find them.

Much obliged for your comments, Fez. :) ~Dean

Comment from J. Allen Whitt

Excellent

Nice work! You do a good job of invoking the feeling of terroir in the night, using graphic words to set the mood. What would you think about changing "observes" to something else. To me, the word is neutral. How about something like "Frank's face is distorted by horror as the Lamia..."?

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

I think that is a great suggestion, J. Allen. I did struggle with just the right word to use in the sentence. It didn't "feel" right and I changed it many times before settling on "observes". I had "gawks" initially. I promise you, I'll figure out something.

Thanks again for the great feedback. It's just the sort of thing I need for this book. ~Dean

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Oh good gravy, this Lamia knows how to sing a lullaby to wake a person from the dead.

And what a terrific ending having the clock flashing 12:00 so we know it wasn't only a dream after all. That's it! I'm sleeping on the couch tonight because there are no closets nearby.

observes the Lamia with horror as it pushes it's (its) jagged

Super scary and well composed, Dean.

Gloria

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Thank you very much, Gloria. I think flash fiction is so difficult to write and do properly. When you combine that with trying to scare the bejeezus outta people, well, it's even more difficult. But, that's why I took on this endeavor, to challenge myself. So far, reviews for this particular story are a bit lukewarm, but not bad overall.

Thanks again for your comments. I sincerely appreciate your review. ~Dean :}

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Okay, Dean, you have captured my curiosity. I am a fan of Greek mythology and I like it when someone uses lesser know characters.

note:

Lowing it's face to within inches of his own,
- Did you mean Lowering or Lowing?

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

"Lowering", Lance, I meant lowering, and thanks a bunch for catching that for me. I also appreciate your R&R.

Much obliged, buddy. :) ~Dean

Comment from evilynne

Excellent

Another wonderful nightmare to remember. As always, your writing is perfect and perfectly scary. The background information is fascinating. Evi

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Thanks again, Evi, and I'm glad you liked this. Flash fiction is some of the most difficult types of fiction to do and still do it properly. When you couple that with trying to terrify people, it makes it even more difficult. That's why I set out to do this sort of book. I wanted to challenge myself. It's an excellent exercise in helping to tighten up your prose.

Thanks again, my friend, and Pleasant Screams, heh-heh. :)

~Dean

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Ooh, I liked this. The ending left me waiting for more. I liked the hint at what was to come. I have never heard of this creature so you have taught me something new. Great job of delivering suspense and dread. I really enjoyed this. Gretchen

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015

Thank you, Gretchen. I'm glad I was able to give you a little information that you never had before. You review is greatly appreciated. :}

~Dean

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hey, Dean...

Oops, gotta watch out for those darn closet doors --- they'll start the screams every time.

Jeeze, even Lamia's baby is creepy. Fun installment to your book. That's okay, though, I sleep with my eyes open, and I WON'T look at the clock. (*<*)

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015

Yep, the Lamia is definitely not something anyone would care to mess with, Jax. Kind of like the Jabberwocky, but on steroids, and an upset female at that! Shucks, an upset human female is hard enough to deal with, much less one from Hell, LOL.

Thanks again fro your great review, my friend.

Write on, right on...~Dean