Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Farewell"Poems written using the pantoum form
79 total reviews
Comment from Bryan G
Thanks for this beautiful image of nature and romance. You have brought back to me memories of when I first met my wife and how that every time we parted it tore my heart apart. It certainly felt as if I were traveling alone in the darkness of space. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Thanks for this beautiful image of nature and romance. You have brought back to me memories of when I first met my wife and how that every time we parted it tore my heart apart. It certainly felt as if I were traveling alone in the darkness of space. Well done.
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review, six-star rating and interesting comments, Bryan. I am delighted that you enjoyed the poem and that it brought back memories for you.
Comment from jmdg1954
Honestly, I could not pick out a Pantoum Sonnet from a line-up of poem variations. I'm a roses are red violets are blue, guy.
I read your poem in its entirety, did not understand it fully but it gave me a calm, warm, quiet feeling. I was able to follow the transition of lines from stanza to stanza. To be able to do that and make the poem filled with emotion is a mark to your ability. Bravo...
John
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Honestly, I could not pick out a Pantoum Sonnet from a line-up of poem variations. I'm a roses are red violets are blue, guy.
I read your poem in its entirety, did not understand it fully but it gave me a calm, warm, quiet feeling. I was able to follow the transition of lines from stanza to stanza. To be able to do that and make the poem filled with emotion is a mark to your ability. Bravo...
John
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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Many thanks for your kind review, interesting comments and encouragement, John.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, tfawcus, you did an excellent job writing this pantoum sonnet about the stars that dance on the sea. great imagery presented, love the third quatrain the best. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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this is very well written, tfawcus, you did an excellent job writing this pantoum sonnet about the stars that dance on the sea. great imagery presented, love the third quatrain the best. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Vey many thanks for your kind review and comments, sweetwoodjax, and for highlighting the part you liked best.
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Very many thanks for your kind review and comments, sweetwoodjax, and for highlighting the part you liked best.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is a lovely Pantoum sonnet - never heard of or tried one, but you have made a lovely job of this. Stanza 2 I thought held a contradiction - they are saying farewell at parting yet ride the swell together. But I am nit picking. The line I like best is 'such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky' - not just beautifully poetic but you had a clever thought here. I enjoyed this very much and wish you luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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This is a lovely Pantoum sonnet - never heard of or tried one, but you have made a lovely job of this. Stanza 2 I thought held a contradiction - they are saying farewell at parting yet ride the swell together. But I am nit picking. The line I like best is 'such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky' - not just beautifully poetic but you had a clever thought here. I enjoyed this very much and wish you luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Vey many thanks for your thoughtful review and comments, Dorothy, and for highlighting the part you liked best. I see what you mean about the contradiction. My intended meaning was that they would have to 'ride the swell' during their period of absence from each other.
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Very many thanks for your thoughtful review and comments, Dorothy, and for highlighting the part you liked best. I see what you mean about the contradiction. My intended meaning was that they would have to 'ride the swell' during their period of absence from each other.
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a beautifully written sonnet, The imagery of stars, shining like each human soul, reflecting and dancing on the sea
Such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky
That span the empty loneliness of space
As we must surely do, my love and I,
Until we can again, at length, embrace.
so well done
Mary
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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This is a beautifully written sonnet, The imagery of stars, shining like each human soul, reflecting and dancing on the sea
Such sea-glass stars have twins set in the sky
That span the empty loneliness of space
As we must surely do, my love and I,
Until we can again, at length, embrace.
so well done
Mary
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Vey many thanks for your very kind review and comments, Mary, and for highlighting the part you liked best.
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Very many thanks for your very kind review and comments, Mary, and for highlighting the part you liked best.
Comment from mfowler
Terrific pantoum sonnet here, Tony. You have painted a beautiful range of images which benefit from the repetition in that they get enjoyed over. I'm not sure why, but this line is my favourite:Alive in this blue hour of shifting light. The poem is a great blend of natural imagery and fanciful romance. Lovely.
PS Thanks for the lovely review on my sonnet 'Linda' in the competition last night. It came third, quite close.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Terrific pantoum sonnet here, Tony. You have painted a beautiful range of images which benefit from the repetition in that they get enjoyed over. I'm not sure why, but this line is my favourite:Alive in this blue hour of shifting light. The poem is a great blend of natural imagery and fanciful romance. Lovely.
PS Thanks for the lovely review on my sonnet 'Linda' in the competition last night. It came third, quite close.
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Very many thanks for this kind review and your comments, Mark, and for highlighting the line you liked best. I very much enjoyed 'Linda' and am glad to hear that it found a place on the winners' rostrum, for a Bronze at least!
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Very many thanks for this kind review and your comments, Mark, and for highlighting the line you liked best. I very much enjoyed 'Linda' and am glad to hear that it found a place on the winners' rostrum, for a Bronze at least!
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent pontoum sonnet, Tony.
Impeccable iambs and un-forced rhymes, plus a perfect sonnet theme of dreamy romance.
I've never tried one, as I'm not usually a lover of repeated lines, but yours are very powerful and fit in seamlessly.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Excellent pontoum sonnet, Tony.
Impeccable iambs and un-forced rhymes, plus a perfect sonnet theme of dreamy romance.
I've never tried one, as I'm not usually a lover of repeated lines, but yours are very powerful and fit in seamlessly.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Very many thanks for your review, Ted, and for highlighting what worked best for you in my poem. Much appreciated.
Comment from camilla61wsw
I absolutely love this poem. I find this style difficult to have an easy flow, but you have mastered it in this poem! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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I absolutely love this poem. I find this style difficult to have an easy flow, but you have mastered it in this poem! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Camilla, and for the six stars!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I like this work very much, Tony. It is expertly created with nuances of a sad goodbye overlaid with the reflection of the stars on the oceans bopping waves. The Pantoum is a lovely form, as is the sonnet, Giddy
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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I like this work very much, Tony. It is expertly created with nuances of a sad goodbye overlaid with the reflection of the stars on the oceans bopping waves. The Pantoum is a lovely form, as is the sonnet, Giddy
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Giddy, and for the six stars!
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is simply magnificent - a truly beautiful poem - romance as it is meant to be, with out-of-this-world imagery, perfect rhyme and cadence. Exquisite!
Best of luck in the contest with this OUTSTANDING Pantoum Sonnet.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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This is simply magnificent - a truly beautiful poem - romance as it is meant to be, with out-of-this-world imagery, perfect rhyme and cadence. Exquisite!
Best of luck in the contest with this OUTSTANDING Pantoum Sonnet.
Comment Written 18-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Dawn, and for the six stars!