All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "Twenty-five Years"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
89 total reviews
Comment from juliedickson55
WOW...I could BE in this poem.
So true...
"well ... we are together, yes ... but
we walk parallel lives, eyes
straight ahead
dead"
Right on and nicely said!
I was married for 21 yrs, and this was my life.
I made dinner for the family, and he took his plate to watch the news in the LR, while the kids and I sat at the table. He declined family vacations, taking golf holidays alone...He didn't talk to me, didn't listen, wasn't affectionate.
I was dying of loneliness, and it took me 6 yrs to accept that and to make the move to end it.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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WOW...I could BE in this poem.
So true...
"well ... we are together, yes ... but
we walk parallel lives, eyes
straight ahead
dead"
Right on and nicely said!
I was married for 21 yrs, and this was my life.
I made dinner for the family, and he took his plate to watch the news in the LR, while the kids and I sat at the table. He declined family vacations, taking golf holidays alone...He didn't talk to me, didn't listen, wasn't affectionate.
I was dying of loneliness, and it took me 6 yrs to accept that and to make the move to end it.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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It takes courage to end these relationships, Julie - and, unfortunately, often a long time! Good for you! I did it once, too. :)Sharyn
Comment from gazzagodbod
liked this one you captured the loneliness that can grow between a long standing relationship great work all the best gazza
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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liked this one you captured the loneliness that can grow between a long standing relationship great work all the best gazza
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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thx gazza!
Comment from LovnPeace
Lonely, but never alone. I like this line the most, because it has been my life for many decades now. I just didn't know I was lonely. LOL until recently. I was never more lonely though then when I was married. What you have written I believe holds too much truth for so many people. Myself, I would rather be alone, then to live like this. Blessings, and good luck in the contest. You did a good job. Barbara.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Lonely, but never alone. I like this line the most, because it has been my life for many decades now. I just didn't know I was lonely. LOL until recently. I was never more lonely though then when I was married. What you have written I believe holds too much truth for so many people. Myself, I would rather be alone, then to live like this. Blessings, and good luck in the contest. You did a good job. Barbara.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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That was a decision I came too many years ago too Barbara. This piece runs deep for many people, I think.
Comment from Glasstruth
An interesting view on marriage. Quite different which is good. Not your run-of-the-mill love. This love sounds lonely, at the same some happiness appears. Maybe it's the best of both worlds. Good luck with the contest! Les
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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An interesting view on marriage. Quite different which is good. Not your run-of-the-mill love. This love sounds lonely, at the same some happiness appears. Maybe it's the best of both worlds. Good luck with the contest! Les
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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thx Les!
Comment from Charlene0513
This is verily put to the test of time.
Some never think to kiss or share a hug for time has a way of overlooking the memorial times of a life held sacred together.
Charlene
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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This is verily put to the test of time.
Some never think to kiss or share a hug for time has a way of overlooking the memorial times of a life held sacred together.
Charlene
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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unfortunately you are correct on all counts Charlene! thank you for reading & reviewing - you'll be pleased to know it's fictional for me personally though! :)
Comment from Titanx9
This poem is not too far from the truth, honestly; I have seen folk married for less than five years that have settled into a romantic malaise where cooking, cleaning and tending the kids define their so-called life. This is an excellent poem that would be funny (which it is) if not for the truth that it portrays. Great job and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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This poem is not too far from the truth, honestly; I have seen folk married for less than five years that have settled into a romantic malaise where cooking, cleaning and tending the kids define their so-called life. This is an excellent poem that would be funny (which it is) if not for the truth that it portrays. Great job and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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No, it isn't Titan - you are correct! Let us observe and learn (hopefully) from those observations! :)
Comment from Meta~Mark
Like a hallmark cars from Walmart and 25 years of marriage , the flow works well as.does the picture, makes me want some chocolate as well, excellent poem
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Like a hallmark cars from Walmart and 25 years of marriage , the flow works well as.does the picture, makes me want some chocolate as well, excellent poem
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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hey MM - you liked the "chocolate" hmm? I've never used this turdy color before, but as we're supposed to be having a howl I thought it was a good color! :)
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
Your poem is profound and marvelously written with vivid imagery.
The art work you used of the happy couple is lovely.
Your poem tells of how my parents are, married but never romance.
Your writing is emotional and tells a story.
You used excellent metaphor.
You used great alliteration.
The lines that stood out for me:
we never look at each other, really look at each other
we never sigh with pleasure at each other's touch - we never touch
come to think of it, we just achieve, all the while believing
that this is how it's meant to be - ha ha ha
I'd recommend your well composed lonely poem to other reviewers.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Missy.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Poet,
Your poem is profound and marvelously written with vivid imagery.
The art work you used of the happy couple is lovely.
Your poem tells of how my parents are, married but never romance.
Your writing is emotional and tells a story.
You used excellent metaphor.
You used great alliteration.
The lines that stood out for me:
we never look at each other, really look at each other
we never sigh with pleasure at each other's touch - we never touch
come to think of it, we just achieve, all the while believing
that this is how it's meant to be - ha ha ha
I'd recommend your well composed lonely poem to other reviewers.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Missy.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx so much melissa! Bless you for reading & reviewing my dear! :)
Comment from Janet Foor
I hesitated to read this as I thought it was going to be a flowery poem of 25 years of wedded bliss. Surprise, surprise. This, unfortunately, is a very real observation of many lives. Excellent use of descriptive words to convey a honest message. Very nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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I hesitated to read this as I thought it was going to be a flowery poem of 25 years of wedded bliss. Surprise, surprise. This, unfortunately, is a very real observation of many lives. Excellent use of descriptive words to convey a honest message. Very nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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one gets awfully sick of those flowery pieces, hmm? no, jmf, I'm not a "flowery poem" kind of writer - thank heaven! Thank you for reading & reviewing!
Comment from DALLAS01
Unfortunately, there will probably be a lot of people who can relate to this sad piece of truth. There is no loneliness like that of being alone in a relationship. You have conveyed situation quite well.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Unfortunately, there will probably be a lot of people who can relate to this sad piece of truth. There is no loneliness like that of being alone in a relationship. You have conveyed situation quite well.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Thx Dallas - your comments are appreciated! :)