To a son of God
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "I am Providence ...!"Metre ... Freeverse & Quatrain
92 total reviews
Comment from THE FREAK
Nothing short of six horses within the apocalypse am I right!!! Once again you seem to notice exactly what I like in a good read, and surely enough you have delivered.
Nice job, my friend; though if you do not mind me making a comment, umm, the layout is a little tricky to read at times, simple is sweet, and the "I's" need a comma after them, it makes it easier for me as a reader to fully accept you are narrating from the horses point of view. I It was... I, It was.
Just my opinion my friend you can happily take it or leave it.
Again, great job, Bicpen...
All the best
THE FREAK
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Nothing short of six horses within the apocalypse am I right!!! Once again you seem to notice exactly what I like in a good read, and surely enough you have delivered.
Nice job, my friend; though if you do not mind me making a comment, umm, the layout is a little tricky to read at times, simple is sweet, and the "I's" need a comma after them, it makes it easier for me as a reader to fully accept you are narrating from the horses point of view. I It was... I, It was.
Just my opinion my friend you can happily take it or leave it.
Again, great job, Bicpen...
All the best
THE FREAK
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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I think I've got it sorted freak...the last two lines are for line emphasis would be interested to know if it works or should I just use a semi colon with the I second last line...much appreciated.
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Now centre it and it is the bee knees. God Bless!
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Happy now...FREAK.
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THAT IS FANSTORY FANTASTIC BICPEN...WELL DONE! I DO APOLOGISE IF I MAY SEEM FORWARD, I JUST WANT TO SEE THIS BRILLIANT AND MAJESTIC POEM GLOW TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL. AGAIN I AM SORRY, IT DOES LOOK LIKE THE CATâ??S MEOWâ?¦
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No worries, so long as the potential shines even brighter...
Comment from Janet Foor
The artwork you chose was perfect for your poem . A very strong message with vivid imagery throughout. I guess your notes were meant as satire. Well crafted poem.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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The artwork you chose was perfect for your poem . A very strong message with vivid imagery throughout. I guess your notes were meant as satire. Well crafted poem.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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That they were my friend...
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Bicpen,
Interesting line of thought for a spiritual poem. It reads very well, the rhythm of the words is good and you draw some powerful mental images in the words.
Well done.
Patrick
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Hi Bicpen,
Interesting line of thought for a spiritual poem. It reads very well, the rhythm of the words is good and you draw some powerful mental images in the words.
Well done.
Patrick
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thanks patrick...do you know who I am? if not check out reviews from, christianspirit and donaldww's much obliged...
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I have a feeling from the picture that I should know you, but can't place a name ...
Patrick
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Try HITLER...
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Nah! He had a funny moustache ...
Patrick
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I had a funny moustache once, had it for years...now all clean, what a difference!
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Can recall the familiarity of the face, but can't catch the name yet ....
Lucky you living in Stornoway though. I shall have to run this picture mast the Meech and the Slimmon to see if they can supply the name. Or you could put me out of my suffering and just PM me ...
Pat
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No worries...
Comment from kashmayank
Nice story ,nice thoughts ,lenghth o poem was perfect i liked it well attempted enjoy the flow all the best for future good job done
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Nice story ,nice thoughts ,lenghth o poem was perfect i liked it well attempted enjoy the flow all the best for future good job done
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Many thanks..
Comment from Frank Atwood
The truth surrounding your words in this poem is in line with these words from Jesus who many follow and know not who he is; as he spoke to the woman at the well; "You know not to who you pray." Those words come true in your poem and truth is always worth six to me. God bless.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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The truth surrounding your words in this poem is in line with these words from Jesus who many follow and know not who he is; as he spoke to the woman at the well; "You know not to who you pray." Those words come true in your poem and truth is always worth six to me. God bless.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Much obliged Frank but this one is actually about HITLER...see donald ww's review to enlighten, many thanks...
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is a work full of thoughtfull takes, providence bought and religion bought. I think it carries weight of imagery with it, though rendered in simple style. It gives a double shaker in: 'I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love.'
ola thomas
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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This is a work full of thoughtfull takes, providence bought and religion bought. I think it carries weight of imagery with it, though rendered in simple style. It gives a double shaker in: 'I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love.'
ola thomas
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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OLA, for an appreciative OLA...
Comment from words
Am not sure what "Providence" represents here.
Are you talking about the devil or fate?
This stanza seemed to spin the verse in another direction:
I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love
I guess it is just over my head.
Hugs, d
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Am not sure what "Providence" represents here.
Are you talking about the devil or fate?
This stanza seemed to spin the verse in another direction:
I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love
I guess it is just over my head.
Hugs, d
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Check reviews christianspirit and donaldww's all will become clear, my friend..
Comment from Anastajiya
I really like this piece. I like how at the end you said I...
...I am providence!" I think that is a nice way to end it. Great job and thanks for sharing it!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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I really like this piece. I like how at the end you said I...
...I am providence!" I think that is a nice way to end it. Great job and thanks for sharing it!
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Well thats exactly what he did say...
Comment from sunnilicious
Providence, Rhode Island is a beautiful place. I went there once about 6-years ago. I've never heard providence used as a word in a sentence. And for that this poem is excellent. Nice.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Providence, Rhode Island is a beautiful place. I went there once about 6-years ago. I've never heard providence used as a word in a sentence. And for that this poem is excellent. Nice.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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much appreciated, I have to get out more....
Comment from Anisa-
Hmmmm...Not sure I quite understand exactly what you are trying to say in this poem. However, it was a very intriguing piece to read. Very interesting.
Anisa
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Hmmmm...Not sure I quite understand exactly what you are trying to say in this poem. However, it was a very intriguing piece to read. Very interesting.
Anisa
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Try reading the following reviews christianspirit and donaldww's hope you will appreciate my poem for what it is....