A Book of ... Free Verse (Vol.1)
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "My Breakfast ..."Metre ... Freeverse
73 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, bicpen, a great job writing this free verse poem about the things you have for breakfast. i love the picture you chose to put with it. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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this is very well written, bicpen, a great job writing this free verse poem about the things you have for breakfast. i love the picture you chose to put with it. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 19-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Thanks.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Bicpen,
This is a delightful free verse, even though short it is well written.
Sometime a terse poem is better than one that drags on and on. Welcome to the land of free verse poetry! chey
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Hi Bicpen,
This is a delightful free verse, even though short it is well written.
Sometime a terse poem is better than one that drags on and on. Welcome to the land of free verse poetry! chey
Comment Written 19-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Glad you enjoyed Chey, my first attempt at free verse normally I try to decipher my syllables for a strict count meter, well most of the time. Thanks again.
Comment from sunnilicious
Well, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You just have to love the first of the day. Breakfasts may vary, but eggs are mainstream. Adorable poem. Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Well, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You just have to love the first of the day. Breakfasts may vary, but eggs are mainstream. Adorable poem. Good luck to you.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Many thanks...
Comment from Glasstruth
Free as another day, and if you want another egg... why not? It works well being centered. The egg also represents life like you starting out that morning. Well done.
Les
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Free as another day, and if you want another egg... why not? It works well being centered. The egg also represents life like you starting out that morning. Well done.
Les
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2011
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Thank you...
Comment from tango494
I love the simplicity and beauty of this poem. This work proves poetry does not have to be wordy, deep or profound to be a thing a beauty. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem and best wishes.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I love the simplicity and beauty of this poem. This work proves poetry does not have to be wordy, deep or profound to be a thing a beauty. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem and best wishes.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Many thanks...
Comment from the blue pixel
I keep thinking I must be missing something here Bicpen. I will take your offering as an under-statement of the ordinariess of everyday life. Funny thing is, I just finished a poem about cereals (and their down side), myself. Very spooky. I thought hard about my four but decided this piece needed some more. I can only compare a poet's work with other poems of theirs and this is my first review of your work I believe so this wasn't really possible but still, I needed more and I almost felt as if you were having a bit of fun with your reviewers but I am unsure. Pix
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I keep thinking I must be missing something here Bicpen. I will take your offering as an under-statement of the ordinariess of everyday life. Funny thing is, I just finished a poem about cereals (and their down side), myself. Very spooky. I thought hard about my four but decided this piece needed some more. I can only compare a poet's work with other poems of theirs and this is my first review of your work I believe so this wasn't really possible but still, I needed more and I almost felt as if you were having a bit of fun with your reviewers but I am unsure. Pix
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Pix, I`ll tell you the story anyday...
I have some new friends in here who are extremely gifted poets, for one they know what there are doing and that helps a lot. Anyway for the past couple of days have been reviewing and reading some of the free verse forms of poetry, which is new to my understanding. I thought it was a easy way of writting at first and I did not really understand at all what it`s rules and regulations were, thats if you believe it has any.
I read some outstanding work in this category and was much impressed to find some real poet geniusus who have helped me to understand the simple but effective and downright genius of it`s form...
I have been enlightened and this was quite simply a ode as the remak tells before it`s title...to the Kings and Queens of the free verse poem.
Dont worry Blue if you dont get it, we can only judge by what we know...and I after this enriching experience hope to know and grow some more...
Any time Blue...
By the way it does say my first attempt, also some good reviews.
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I don't believe free verse has any rules by its very definition and for me, for free verse to be good, it needs to be very good and you are quite right, there are some fantastic free verse writers on this site. I wondered about the kinds and queens reference, or more accurately, it's relevance to your poem. I did think it was a clever observation of life's more mundane things which is of course, what life, largely comprises. I appreciate it was your first attempt and now I am left feeling that my judgement is being called questionable if not non-existant. I have read a great deal of this form of poetry and the pieces I have most enjoyed take me with them, flashing mental picture after mental picture into my mind using descriptions of beauty but necesssarily so of course. Just saying that I don't get it, doesn't really explain to me what there is in your poem that I have missed and always wanting to learn, this is what I hoped to learn from you. I shall check on some of your reviews. Perhaps they will enlighten me further Bicpen. Pix
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I don't believe free verse has any rules by its very definition and for me, for free verse to be good, it needs to be very good and you are quite right, there are some fantastic free verse writers on this site. I wondered about the kinds and queens reference, or more accurately, it's relevance to your poem. I did think it was a clever observation of life's more mundane things which is of course, what life, largely comprises. I appreciate it was your first attempt and now I am left feeling that my judgement is being called questionable if not non-existant. I have read a great deal of this form of poetry and the pieces I have most enjoyed take me with them, flashing mental picture after mental picture into my mind using descriptions of beauty but necesssarily so of course. Just saying that I don't get it, doesn't really explain to me what there is in your poem that I have missed and always wanting to learn, this is what I hoped to learn from you. I shall check on some of your reviews. Perhaps they will enlighten me further Bicpen. Pix
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Excellent Pix...check out WB and Tammmy...their both Queens.
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Oh...and dont forget Crud...genius.
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I do read all of eph's poetry and I love it. I agree, he is a genuis.
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I do read all of eph's poetry and I love it. I agree, he is a genuis.
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No worries...Blue.
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I was actually having a very serious attempt at discovering the beauty of another form...thats why such a small begining, hence an egg!
Comment from cheery blossom
Hi. This poem is very short and takes a re-read to get its full impact. A simple breakfast, one would think at first, would not be a very exciting subject for a poem. But just think--it brings to mind the enjoyment breakfast is every morning. What could be more poetic than the wonderful experience of smelling, anticipation and finally
the satisfaction of a good breakfast and the way it makes us
feel ready to face the problems of the day to come. Yeah, I think this ia a good poem. Bully for you, Cheery
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Hi. This poem is very short and takes a re-read to get its full impact. A simple breakfast, one would think at first, would not be a very exciting subject for a poem. But just think--it brings to mind the enjoyment breakfast is every morning. What could be more poetic than the wonderful experience of smelling, anticipation and finally
the satisfaction of a good breakfast and the way it makes us
feel ready to face the problems of the day to come. Yeah, I think this ia a good poem. Bully for you, Cheery
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Excellent...not sure if that last comment was a complement.
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Hey. It was. When I was young, a long long time ago, we had a saying, "Bully for you" which meant, "Good for you."
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Many thanks sometimes we used to use the phrase as a slight insult when annoyed or angry...glad you enjoyed.
Comment from waihekebach
Here it comes...the most honest review I can give this poem.
The photograph choice is perfect. You have chosen 3 eggs which gives the opportunity to have more if you wish.
The picture is crisp and holds no distraction. The blue background holds the white script well and helps the picture stand out.
The script is easy on the eye, and reviewers appreciate that.
If you look carefully at the picture, both the eggs and feathers have shadow images which add to its beauty.
Many reviewers are visual, as well as intellectual readers, so your illustration choice is very important, although it is the poem that is reviewed, some of us can't help but take the illustration into consideration as well.
The poem is simple and concise.
It is easy to read and flows nicely.
The layout is charming.
Short and sweet does attract the busy reviewer.
An egg...!
a
cup of tea
then some toast.
If I feel like it
I sometimes
have
another
egg.
That is how I would have written this.
But it is of course your poem and is good as it stands.
I removed (when) because it denotes a time, whereas (if) denotes an opportunity.
I removed (more) because the reader does not know whether or not
you have had some toast previously.
Keep in mind that, it is always easier to critique the writing of others, than it is your own. We do not see our own work as objectively as others do.
My Breakfast is a poem that we can all relate to.
An awesome effort my friend.
LOL.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Here it comes...the most honest review I can give this poem.
The photograph choice is perfect. You have chosen 3 eggs which gives the opportunity to have more if you wish.
The picture is crisp and holds no distraction. The blue background holds the white script well and helps the picture stand out.
The script is easy on the eye, and reviewers appreciate that.
If you look carefully at the picture, both the eggs and feathers have shadow images which add to its beauty.
Many reviewers are visual, as well as intellectual readers, so your illustration choice is very important, although it is the poem that is reviewed, some of us can't help but take the illustration into consideration as well.
The poem is simple and concise.
It is easy to read and flows nicely.
The layout is charming.
Short and sweet does attract the busy reviewer.
An egg...!
a
cup of tea
then some toast.
If I feel like it
I sometimes
have
another
egg.
That is how I would have written this.
But it is of course your poem and is good as it stands.
I removed (when) because it denotes a time, whereas (if) denotes an opportunity.
I removed (more) because the reader does not know whether or not
you have had some toast previously.
Keep in mind that, it is always easier to critique the writing of others, than it is your own. We do not see our own work as objectively as others do.
My Breakfast is a poem that we can all relate to.
An awesome effort my friend.
LOL.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Just one thing...I like it it talks sense...but maybe and just maybe, I dont want them to know whether I had toast before they might call me greedy.
Comment from c_lucas
Some people start off their day with a hard boiled egg. I prefer two slices of French Toast. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Some people start off their day with a hard boiled egg. I prefer two slices of French Toast. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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I love french toast chalie...glad you enjoyed...many thanks.
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You're welcome, Bic.
Comment from Shirley B
Hi Bicpen, I think you are on the right track. I enjoyed reading your poem. I loved the artwork you chose. Just remember our poems should be very good without artwork. Keep up the great work. I hope to read more of your work soon. I want feelings! Not an egg! :) Have a great night, Shirley
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Hi Bicpen, I think you are on the right track. I enjoyed reading your poem. I loved the artwork you chose. Just remember our poems should be very good without artwork. Keep up the great work. I hope to read more of your work soon. I want feelings! Not an egg! :) Have a great night, Shirley
Comment Written 18-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2011
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Can you explain to me where I did not emphasise my feelings about my lovely egg and please explain just what you thought this poem was...please...
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I thought it was written in good humor. For a great poem read 'return' by easyevertt. It is also a free style. Have a great day, Shirley
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I`m more than happy without reading easy`s, thank you, many blessings.
