The Culling of the Meek
A mirrored pair of sonnets64 total reviews
Comment from templecone
Skillful manipulation of the sonnet form here. The language throughout is grand, reaching, even prophetic in its tones. I do wonder about the title-- it makes sense, and is the major topic of the poem, but the final lines of the poem reverse the dynamic suggested by the title, so that there seems to be a clash of emphasis (the title emphasizes the cullers, the poem emphasizes-- or closes with-- the meek). Hmm. This is a minor point, but I thought I'd mention it.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Skillful manipulation of the sonnet form here. The language throughout is grand, reaching, even prophetic in its tones. I do wonder about the title-- it makes sense, and is the major topic of the poem, but the final lines of the poem reverse the dynamic suggested by the title, so that there seems to be a clash of emphasis (the title emphasizes the cullers, the poem emphasizes-- or closes with-- the meek). Hmm. This is a minor point, but I thought I'd mention it.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you, temple. You're right - the title is at odds with the conclusion of the poem, but deals with a central driver to the events it describes. I'm just happy you took the time to notice :-)
Mike
Comment from despiser
Fleedleflump
A nicely penned abstract write. The theme toys with the readers imagination, never quite telling what it is but guiding interpretation.
Kind of an off-beat meter, good luck in the contesto
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Fleedleflump
A nicely penned abstract write. The theme toys with the readers imagination, never quite telling what it is but guiding interpretation.
Kind of an off-beat meter, good luck in the contesto
Comment Written 24-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Thank you, Desp - I'm g;ad you enjoyed :-)
Mike
Comment from honeytree
The art work is interesting and excellent.
As human beings we have feelings of love, hate and sorrow.
We make mistakes, we are not perfect.
Our stepping stones onwards towards heaven is love.
Those who do not help fellow human beings, are frowned upon
by God.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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The art work is interesting and excellent.
As human beings we have feelings of love, hate and sorrow.
We make mistakes, we are not perfect.
Our stepping stones onwards towards heaven is love.
Those who do not help fellow human beings, are frowned upon
by God.
Honey tree
Comment Written 24-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Thank you, Honey Tree. I'm glad you read into the depth a little.
Mike
Comment from Rasp E
And intentions tear the world apart. And inaction.
I see a lot in this set of sonnets...hopefully some of it is right. Overpopulation, manipulation, destruction through seemingly innocent actions. I like the irony you've layered in by setting biblical phrases in paradox to their original meanings. But then, I *would* like that. :)
It reminds me of Pandora's Box, naturally. How dismal, that humans could take power back to themselves only in the act of annihilation. Or am I reading too dark? I did look for a little sliver of hope, but nary a hint did I find.
Funny you should post this now, I've been working on something of a similar flavor, but I'm slightly stuck at the moment.
I do have one itty suggestion for the last line of the first sonnet. How would you feel about reordering the last half of the line to read: and choke the life from bold.
:shrugs: Whatever you wish.
Good luck in the contest.
Erica
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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And intentions tear the world apart. And inaction.
I see a lot in this set of sonnets...hopefully some of it is right. Overpopulation, manipulation, destruction through seemingly innocent actions. I like the irony you've layered in by setting biblical phrases in paradox to their original meanings. But then, I *would* like that. :)
It reminds me of Pandora's Box, naturally. How dismal, that humans could take power back to themselves only in the act of annihilation. Or am I reading too dark? I did look for a little sliver of hope, but nary a hint did I find.
Funny you should post this now, I've been working on something of a similar flavor, but I'm slightly stuck at the moment.
I do have one itty suggestion for the last line of the first sonnet. How would you feel about reordering the last half of the line to read: and choke the life from bold.
:shrugs: Whatever you wish.
Good luck in the contest.
Erica
Comment Written 24-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I can't resist putting a dark slant on biblical phrasing! Beyond that, I love taking unusual viewpoints on concepts. This was meant to be dark without being too obvious, and you'll rarely read my work darker than I intend it :-)
Mike
Comment from TammyGail
Wow .... What a lovely poem I loved reading it .... Very nice - I loved this part in your poem "with viewpoints spawned in legacy's lament
of life and all its pain as balance nears.
We bred to dominate the flock He sent;
us shepherds of defilement thrive on fears.
It came to pass with smiles, familial hold
would fill the meek and choke life from the bold."
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Wow .... What a lovely poem I loved reading it .... Very nice - I loved this part in your poem "with viewpoints spawned in legacy's lament
of life and all its pain as balance nears.
We bred to dominate the flock He sent;
us shepherds of defilement thrive on fears.
It came to pass with smiles, familial hold
would fill the meek and choke life from the bold."
Comment Written 24-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Thank you, Tammy - I'm so glad you enjoyed it :-)
Mike
Comment from l.raven
Great job Mike.Very well written.You know Mike the meek shall inherit the earth.You have great rhythm and rhyme.And areal good flow.Great job.Keep them coming.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Great job Mike.Very well written.You know Mike the meek shall inherit the earth.You have great rhythm and rhyme.And areal good flow.Great job.Keep them coming.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Thank you :-). I wanted to take that phrase and explored the concept, see what sides it might reveal.
Mike
Comment from denhagan
This is a very interesting and well-written mirrored pair of sonnet poems, with excellent meter and rhyming throughout the poem. I enjoyed reading this poem.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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This is a very interesting and well-written mirrored pair of sonnet poems, with excellent meter and rhyming throughout the poem. I enjoyed reading this poem.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Thank you, D - I'm glad you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
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You're welcome. Dennis
Comment from Alexander E Poet
Love That picture, I thought this was passionate . a very well written piece, not hard to read . very enjoyable, great picture There were no errors. No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Love That picture, I thought this was passionate . a very well written piece, not hard to read . very enjoyable, great picture There were no errors. No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
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Thank you :-). I was really pleased with this one, although it is a little obscure for some tastes.
Mike
Comment from DIS-illusioned
--Very nice picture image.
--"Our family broke dawn with babies' cries"
Interesting imagery.
--Good abab rhyme scheme.
--Interesting metaphoric imagery throughout.
--"and yet the end of days would come to pass
at love's behest,"
Hmm! I wonder if love would really request for the end of days? Seems more it would want life to continue indefinitely.
--Interesting poem. Could you reply me please to offer a clarification on its theme/message--I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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--Very nice picture image.
--"Our family broke dawn with babies' cries"
Interesting imagery.
--Good abab rhyme scheme.
--Interesting metaphoric imagery throughout.
--"and yet the end of days would come to pass
at love's behest,"
Hmm! I wonder if love would really request for the end of days? Seems more it would want life to continue indefinitely.
--Interesting poem. Could you reply me please to offer a clarification on its theme/message--I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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Ah, love doesn't want the end of days, but inadvertantly brings it to pass. My concept was 'if the meek inherited the earth, would they still be meek?' It's great to hear from readers who are genuinely interested :-)
Mike
Comment from chrissy8
If I had another star to give you, I would!!!! I absolutely love your poetry. I visit this site infrequently, looks like I'll have to get back into it to read poetry like this! The words you use and how you use them is exceptional. It's not often that someone with a high I.Q. and a sense of rythym and ryhme write here. Love it!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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If I had another star to give you, I would!!!! I absolutely love your poetry. I visit this site infrequently, looks like I'll have to get back into it to read poetry like this! The words you use and how you use them is exceptional. It's not often that someone with a high I.Q. and a sense of rythym and ryhme write here. Love it!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2011
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I think I'm blushing! Thank you for the wonderful review - some thought this was too obscure, but that was how it came out. It's great to know some people appreciate poetry that needs some thinking about. Hope I don't sound too far up my own bum!
Mike