Death's Sadness
A sad day.121 total reviews
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Very short, very sad, though few words were used here. I tend to believe that the poet sites a funeral. Am I right? Well done.
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Very short, very sad, though few words were used here. I tend to believe that the poet sites a funeral. Am I right? Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from donnadiann
The poem is in good 5-7-5 order. And the words are melded together with great affection and loss expression. It seems that the words are very honoring to this person.
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The poem is in good 5-7-5 order. And the words are melded together with great affection and loss expression. It seems that the words are very honoring to this person.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from Adama
Although this poem is written in the syllable count of a haiku/senryu it is meant to be a free form poem and in that respect I think it is very moving for so few words. Good luck in the contest.
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Although this poem is written in the syllable count of a haiku/senryu it is meant to be a free form poem and in that respect I think it is very moving for so few words. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from Jace_Jones
Concise, yet magnanimous in Depth. I loved it! It's a shame to write a review longer than the poem, but it's telling my I have to. A poem like this needs no picking apart. The essence is there when you read it, and attempts to verbalize it clouds the essence. So there's your review!
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Concise, yet magnanimous in Depth. I loved it! It's a shame to write a review longer than the poem, but it's telling my I have to. A poem like this needs no picking apart. The essence is there when you read it, and attempts to verbalize it clouds the essence. So there's your review!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from carmen vargas
A beautiful short poem that expresses the character's life ended suddenly and left desolate. Fluid lines. Fine sensory images. Congratulations and good luck boomachicka.
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A beautiful short poem that expresses the character's life ended suddenly and left desolate. Fluid lines. Fine sensory images. Congratulations and good luck boomachicka.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from fastdigits
A poem of brevity, yet laced with
words that bring forth remembrance
of a person's greatness, kindness,
humility, caring and whose footprints
will forever remain in the sands of
time.
Well done
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A poem of brevity, yet laced with
words that bring forth remembrance
of a person's greatness, kindness,
humility, caring and whose footprints
will forever remain in the sands of
time.
Well done
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from bhogg
Correct syllable count. Since the contest specified free form 5-7-5 format, I think you have a good entry. Good luck in your contest. Regards, Bill
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Correct syllable count. Since the contest specified free form 5-7-5 format, I think you have a good entry. Good luck in your contest. Regards, Bill
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from despiser
Boomachicka
This sounds like the death of a great leader. Conversely, it could also be about someone close that's highly respected by those around him. Either way, a great contest contender.
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Boomachicka
This sounds like the death of a great leader. Conversely, it could also be about someone close that's highly respected by those around him. Either way, a great contest contender.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from MaryLinda
This packs a punch in just a few short words. I have to take it that this is someone very famous, for "ALL the world" to be "deeply saddened". I feel that the middle line could be personalised a little more because it makes a very vast statement, as it stands. You could try "Every nation shed its tears" to make it a little softer, just my opinion.
Overall, a strong message in a 5/7/5 poem which is not an easy ask. MaryLinda
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This packs a punch in just a few short words. I have to take it that this is someone very famous, for "ALL the world" to be "deeply saddened". I feel that the middle line could be personalised a little more because it makes a very vast statement, as it stands. You could try "Every nation shed its tears" to make it a little softer, just my opinion.
Overall, a strong message in a 5/7/5 poem which is not an easy ask. MaryLinda
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011
Comment from Peter@Poole
In a senryu or haiku, the satori [last line] should make some comment on the picture painted [shasei] in the first two lines. Perhaps the contest organisers did not make this clear, but you can look up senryu/haiku on the Internet. Many reviewers don't know these facts either, but these forms are more subtle than many realise. Peter
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In a senryu or haiku, the satori [last line] should make some comment on the picture painted [shasei] in the first two lines. Perhaps the contest organisers did not make this clear, but you can look up senryu/haiku on the Internet. Many reviewers don't know these facts either, but these forms are more subtle than many realise. Peter
Comment Written 15-Jun-2011